Bad Mood Rising!

This week my vocabulary has been downgraded to only four letter words. The kind of words that would make even the most hardened sailor blush. Maybe our almost apocalyptic even of last week and my most recent hate mails unduly contributed to my grumpiness or maybe I’m just tired. It is that time of year when the end is in sight and we are in the final stretch to closing the chapter that is 2010. This year has been challenging, filled with change, sometimes controversy and there are just over seven weeks left and a lot still have to happen. This led me to wonder, how the hell I am going to make it to my December holiday without going supernova and destroying the known universe, all of mankind and things that currently annoys me!

In less than a week I am off to Kenya’s capital Nairobi. A country I have visited five years earlier and have fond memories off, the zenith of which being spending New Years Eve at Lake Nivasha and hearing the hippos grunt and complain about the noise of our festivities. This is now my second (technically my third) international trip this year and much like my trip to Luxembourg I suspect I won’t be seeing much of Kenya. Again much like my trip to Luxembourg I am going there for a marathon interview – an interview that’s going to last two days. Don’t get me wrong I have been interviewed many times in my professional life and I interview quite well, but never have I had to answer questions, sell myself, my skills and hidden talents all while having to have a sparkling personality for a full two days. My interpersonal charm stamina may not hold and therefore I am a tad bit stressed. I also currently have a pimple the size of Mount Everest on my face!

In the mean time our office building is being renovated and last week we had to move into our temporary holding area. Now please take in mind this is now the second time this year I have moved and I do not function optimally in chaos, having to share stuff and whenever there are contractors/builders involved I have meltdowns. The whole of last week I was floating down the river of denial and pretended to be blissfully unaware of my discomfort both physically and mentally. However this Monday I faced my physical reality of noise, claustrophobia, absence of air-conditioning and privacy and I was not amused and have been in “a mood” ever since. I found myself reciting “This is only temporary” while hiding in the toilet, smoking a cigarette outside all while in a cloud of banging, sawing and braking noise. This is when I realized that I was not that dissimilar to my cats – we don’t like change, don’t like noise and we need our personal space!

And then there is the gym. The palace of torture, the place that is suppose to rid me of frustration, get me into shape and clear my mind of worries. But NO… My one instructor took a liking in me and therefore I have been getting special and unwanted attention. Before your minds go into the gutter – it’s not sexual it’s painfully physical. You see she decided to take her posture Nazi ways to the next level. She no longer just corrects me, now she stands next to me through whole routines making sure I don’t cheat! Even though my legs and arms shakes like that of a person who suffers from Parkinson’s disease due to over excursion, she forces me to finish and to do all routines properly. “I hate you!” goes through mind often and feeling the burn has never been so damn painful and lasted quite as long!  She's the devil I tell you - THE DEVIL!

As if all this isn’t enough I have also had to deal with some really fucked up people in stores, on the road and some on the telephone. A woman screamed at me today and right up to this moment I still aren’t quite sure why. But frankly I don’t particularly give a rat’s ass. Some people on this lovely planet of ours can benefit from a gene pool transplant or some personality modifications in the sense of actually getting a personality that’s smart and pleasant.

Last but not least as if Facebook didn’t have enough Queens on it an actual Queen joined on Monday. Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II is now on Facebook and has her own page. Good lord, imagine if she actually had to write her own status updates and God forbid now joins Twitter and tweets. As one of my fellow bloggers pointed out on this Queens Facebook page “Can you imagine (envision squiggly lines in your head and fade to black--fade in to QE II standing in the wings waiting to come out and greet President Sarkozy of France) she whips out her iPhone which she's tucked ever so cleverly into her bra and tweets: 'S'up peeps? Got 2 hang w/Sarkozy. Hope I dont mis my fav show on teli. Crap ms prfct body is here 2. Totly h8 her. Shoulda worn my Spanx! L8R'” Enough said!

Ok, so I am in a bad mood and my usually sparkling personality is neatly tucked away somewhere safe in my man panties. Let’s hope by the weekend my mood lifts in time for my flight to Kenya on Tuesday. Being grumpy, bitchy and moody sure does not become me. But hey, everyone is entitled to a bad week and this is mine!

Till next time.

French and Saunders do Winehouse and Spears

A Hairy Situation

Last night Lady Gaga showed up to the Oak Room at New York's Plaza Hotel wearing a blond wig and fishnets.  But being Lady Gaga who never does anything ordinary,  she also wore a dress made of hair.  Now I am sure most straight guys wouldn't a "hairy"woman attractive, but I am certain that some would make an exception for Gaga.  If you thought Lady Gaga's Meat Dress was her most outrageous fashion statement of the year ... you were probably right. But her new hair dress is a close second!

Hate Mails: F You!

There are days and sometimes certain weeks that I find myself asking the simplest question. The question Why? Why do I do this? Why do I write my blog? Why do I put myself out there, open to abuse, sometimes ridicule and hatred. I get my fair share of hate mails (hence forth referred to as mind fucks). They come in all shapes, sizes and fonts – some even with attachments! They appear in my e-mail inbox, I get them on Facebook and now also on Twitter. Don’t get me wrong, receiving hate mail shows that I must be hitting some anal retentive nerve in the Bible belts and red neck villages of the world, but nevertheless some are rather distasteful and rude! So I will dedicate this blog post to all my haters, homophobes and those deranged people out there who love sending me their mind fucks. Here is my official response to you!

Congratulations on managing to join the rest of the world on the Internet. I would give you a high five but unfortunately I don’t want to catch what you have as there is no antibiotic treatment to cure or even alleviate ignorance and the symptoms there off. You probably didn’t know this, until now, but the world is one big and scary place. It’s filled with people with different believes and world views than yours. Some of these people can also read and write and have opinions that I am convinced that you would not like. Opinions and views much like the ones I express here on my web page that you find oh so distressing. But the queerest thing is, even though you hate me, hate gays and hate my blog you always seem to come back. Why is that?

Do you have nothing better to do than read upsetting and as some of you so eloquently put it “Vulgar, Depraved, Satanistic, Pornographic, Garbage” literature? Let’s face it I’m not competing for a Pulitzer Prize here, and I am sure it’s not my brilliant writing that draws you back to my URL. Could it be that you have not yet come to terms with your own sexual identity or are you just so insecure that you have this burning urge to cyber bully people to make yourself feel better. I don’t know the answer to these questions and frankly I don’t give a shit about your mental health, your identity crisis or insecurities. I pity you as some of your mind fucks seems more like a desperate cry for help and I am not a psychiatrist. Furthermore, I am not a child or a teenager that you can intimidate and scare with your mind fucks. Abusive and hateful e-mails will hardly bring me to tears or drive me to suicide. And then there are those damn “death threats”!

It must come as a surprise to you, but I don’t take your death threats seriously! The symbolic threats of telling me and all gay people to “Get Aids and Die” are laughable. You can hope and wish that we do, but we most certainly will not purposefully infect ourselves. “Burn in Hell” and condemning me to hell also is not scaring me nor is it my readers. In your mind you might think you are God but back here on planet earth, where the rest of us “normal people” live, you’re nothing but a deranged mortal with some really fucked up ideas.

Threatening to “hunt me down like an animal” and then gut me, threatening to kill my 4 cats and my husband and then the wrath of God ravaging my “evil” soul I find rather distasteful. Obviously the dying side of your threats I find unappealing, but the fact that some of you have actually made these threats by including Bible verses as points of reference and as justification is alarming. I wonder what your God will think about murder and your general religious reasoning and will you send him/her a mind fuck as well if he/she disagrees with your screwed up view? Suck on that for while…

I decided a few months ago that I would not publish your shit on my blog. Mainly because you are cowards and too scared to actually write any of your repugnant, delusional mind fucks on my blog as comments. Rather opting to send them “anonymously” via hotmail, yahoo and gmail. The few of you who actually displayed an inkling of guts sent me your mind fucks on Facebook and Twitter, but none of you were man or woman enough to stay for a fight which I find pathetic. In all probability you are those spineless people that can hurdle insults at people in a crowd and behind other people’s backs but are too weak to do it to someone’s face. And Oh Boy the Internet must be huge comfort for spineless folks like you. You can say whatever you want without once physically being confronted or demanded to explain the dire tripe you spew.

In conclusion, you can keep on sending me your mind fucks, waste more bandwidth, waste more of your time and money. But know this, I will still write my blog, be a proud gay man and fight for the rights of GLBT people all over the world by making people aware of injustice, intolerance, homophobia, discrimination and ignoramuses like you. Your hate will not silence me, your ignorance will not deter me and your threats do not scare me! I am queer, I am here and I am NOT going anywhere! So fuck you!

Till next time.

Apocalypse!

Some days the extent of human stupidity absolutely amazes me. Yesterday we experienced an astronomical event called a corona or a sun halo. Naturally, when I saw it I thought to myself “Ah… what a pretty rainbow!” and left it at that. You could imagine my surprise when I turned on the radio and heard a bunch of people misinterpreting this natural phenomenon as an alien ship ready to invade the earth, the second coming and even the apocalypse! This led me to question the general sanity of society and what we would really do if the end of the world was imminent.

When something happens that’s almost supernatural it seems human nature's first instinct is to turn to religion. When we see something that we seemingly can’t explain people turn to God - after all biblical scriptures are filled with miracles. During these events some people choose to see God’s power but then there is the other spectrum of society, those who didn’t take their Valium that morning, those who panic and believe the sky is falling.

One thing I just can’t fathom is how a rainbow around the sun at 9am in the morning translates for some to mean the second coming or even the apocalypse! Sure it’s not something you see every day, but honestly wouldn’t the apocalypse be ushered in with a more ominous signal or sign other than that of a rainbow? And had it been the beginning of the end of humanity how would calling your local radio station save you? Sure, I get the fact that some people need conformation by means of mass hysteria to reaffirm their own doomsday fears, but wouldn’t their last moments on earth be better spent praying for salvation? If the world were to end, the radio station will most definitely not be the first phone call I make – it would be to my husband!

OK, so let’s imagine the rainbow was the signal of the start of the apocalypse and within hours hailstones of fire were to bombard the earth followed by brimstone and then more fire. What would you do? Well off course there would be allot of praying, asking for forgiveness and making amends. But, during all this, I would be stuffing my face with cheese cake, chocolate mousse, crisps, fizzy drinks and everything and anything that I either had to reduce or stay away from eating in order not to get fat or have a heart attack. I mean we are all going to die anyway, what’s the use of counting calories when the world’s ending right? However the one thing that I would hope for, in those final moments, is that it would be spectacular, memorable (even in the afterlife) and painless!

But it wasn’t the apocalypse and we are all still alive! So let’s examine our second scenario - the alien invasion of earth. With this I have two problems. They said there were a spaceship behind our sun and the “rainbow” was the emissions from the outer lining of that ship. Really? For all those folks who believed this for even a second I would like to ask you, do you even know how big the sun is? If the spaceship was behind our sun and looked the way it was described it would have had to be enormous!!! So enormous that NASA surely would have known it was coming for a very long time. But let’s imagine they knew and it was indeed a spaceship, what would you have done?

Frankly, again the radio station would not  be who I’d phone first! Moreover, I would also not just assume that the aliens had a malicious intent either. Unless you’re psychic or have been in communication with the mother ship nobody would know why the aliens were heading straight for earth. This time around I would not stuff my face with calorie rich food as I would want to look good for the aliens just in case they decided to herd and farm us like cattle and kill off the weak for compost. I would go home, turn on CNN and await further instructions. To curb some boredom, while I wait, I would send out a couple of e-mails to Pope Benedict XVI asking the Vatican to comment on the implications of aliens on the Christian faith and I would also write to the WestBoro Baptist Church asking them whether "God Hates Aliens" too and whether they planned on protesting the alien landing and/or invasion points.

While the alien ship makes its way closer to our little planet, I can imagine how governments (who also would not know what the hell was going on) try to calm down their citizens. As humans are during times of crisis I would imagine looting, stock piling and loads of religious gatherings. Speculations would be rife, facts few and reason none. Fighting back would be futile as their ship would be a billion times bigger than our planet and effectively we would be helpless little maggots. And then the message would come:

“We come in peace – actually we’re just passing by. You see we had some problems with our warp drive and had to refuel from your sun and we have borrowed some helium and hydrogen. Hope you don’t mind, good bye and good luck – peace out!”

As I sit here today, the world has not come to an end and aliens did not invade the earth. The sun halo disappeared shortly after 10am yesterday morning but speculations, predictions and prophecies by soothsayers and other misguided individuals persisted until late yesterday evening. I guess there will always be people in society desperate for a sign from above, desperate for a sign from their creator and desperate to believe we are not alone. And every now and again nature provides them with a glimpse of her astounding beauty and power and they will see in it what they want to, most times to the great amusement of others.

Till next time.

Apocalypse Please (Muse)

What's Morally Wrong with Homosexuality?

Is homosexuality unnatural? Does it threaten society? Are gays and lesbians "born that way"--and does it matter either way? In this provocative program, Dr. John Corvino tackles these questions and more. Combining philosophical rigor with sensitivity and humor, Corvino examines the most common arguments against same-sex relationships - including those based on nature, harm, and religion. In the process, he invites people on all sides to rethink easy assumptions about homosexuality and morality.  What's Morally Wrong with Homosexuality is a DVD I highly recommend! 

What's Morally Wrong with Homosexuality

The Bombshell!

It’s official and I won’t keep anyone in suspense any longer. Hubby and I have decided to have a baby. There, now it’s been said out load and this is for real. We have been mulling on this for quite some time now, but only recently vocalized our desire to be parents. It’s a huge decision to make, a gigantic step to take and an enormous responsibility which will last a life time. Being gay, wanting a baby and having one, unfortunately is not simple. But we have set sail and this is how our journey starts.

Never have I once thought I’d even utter the words “I want a baby”. I’m not the maternal type and I always said I didn’t want children. But life is queer and has a peculiar sense of irony. You see all of this have changed and the urge to have a child now burns deep inside me. I think my husband describes it best: The urge to have children is like a deep primordial drive that unceremoniously gets triggered by an almost extrasensory calling from the abyss – the calling of a child, a child that is destined to be yours.

At first I ignored this strange longing feeling. I mean I am happy with my life just the way it is. My life is my own and I am only responsible for one. Then my dreams got flooded with paternalistic symbolism and the crevices of my subconscious mind determined to ignite my latent caregiver instinct into a flame that burns brighter each day. Coincidently, the same was happening to my husband only he was quicker to see. Denial is a tool I wield with great comfort, but even denial is not strong enough to fight this.

So last week, hubby and I had a heart-to-heart chat, late at night. You know that time of night where you are too tired not to be honest with yourself and my denial lost its grip and I could see clearly. We both wanted a child. Being the practical one, analytical one and devil’s advocate in our marriage, I took us through the gauntlet of pros and cons of trying to have and eventually having a child. The changes and challenges we will face are vast. But having considered all the implications and practicalities, we both concurred this is what we wanted.

Being gay, I think, the reasons I wanted to convince myself that children would not be destined for me is the fact that society still have a long way to go towards acceptance and tolerance. There will always be pockets of society that will not condone gays having children. Many stigmas still exisits when a child have same sex parents, the stigma that we cannot raise healthy children, the stigma that we aren’t good parents and the stigma that children raised in a gay families sexual identities will be influenced negatively.

Moreover, I feared that if we ever wanted a child our friends and families would not approve and we would lose their support. Boy was I wrong. Hubby and I decided that before we even start looking into our options, we would ask for his parents’ blessing. My father-in-law didn’t approve of our marriage and it took him years to come to terms with and accept it. Now, we were about to tell him he may become a grandfather. Admittedly we were nervous as hell! So during Sunday lunch we dropped a bombshell and expected a prolonged uncomfortable silence. But what followed was amazingly touching. Instead of berating our decision, we received their sincere blessing. My sister, brother-in-law and close friends followed all of whom showed us overwhelming support.

With the blessings and support of those we care for and care for us, we have begun our journey. We will start looking into our options – adoption or surrogacy! Neither hubby nor I are very keen on the adoption route. I know it may sound selfish but we both strongly feel we want a child that’s ours. Surrogacy is no simpler than adoption and most certainly not cheaper either. But I am sure there is a woman out there somewhere, a woman who will perform the most unselfish act of all, a woman who will give us the greatest gift life has to offer – a child of our own. Not many people out there will look past the fact that we are a gay married couple, and I am sure some of our efforts to find a suitable surrogate will be negatively influenced by this. But hey, a baby is a miracle and I do believe in miracles.

There is quite a journey ahead of us, and as I realized this week there are still a lot of mountains to climb and prejudice to concur, but we will do this. We will persevere and we will find our child who has been calling for us. It may not happen next week or next month or even next year, but it will and I am looking forward for my life no longer to be my own.

Till next time.

The View: Gay Adoption

Fabulous Queen of the Month Award

This month's winner is Heather Leigh.

Heather was a brave and beautiful young woman, fellow blogger and supporter of gay rights.  She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (Desmoplastic small round cell tumor) but instead of giving up, she decided to battle her illness and fight for her life.  She documented her journey on her blog My Life Substance and took us all on the journey with her - the good times, the bad times and the hopeful times.

Sadly, Heather didn't win her battle with cancer and she passed away earlier this year.  She will be missed, but with her blog she touched countless people's lives, gave many hope and taught me to live my life to the fullest. 

Perfectly Done - Shawn Mcdonald

DECLINED – It Brings Out the Bitch in Me!

I love travelling! Seeing new places, meeting new people and experiencing different cultures is an education in humanity – an education you can’t obtain from any University and can’t be entirely conveyed in any books you read. Next month I will be travelling to Kenya, and as my life goes this year, it will again be for business and not for pleasure. The last few days I have been preoccupied with finalizing my travel arrangements, transferring funds from Italy, booking flights, and as my good friend Murphy would have it, none of this has been smooth sailing. Technology has elevated the phrase “red tape” to a whole different dimension and left me wondering, is the technological substitution of computers over humans in business transactions really making our lives easier or has it in fact made it worse?  Either way both can make me behave like quite the bitch!

Sure shopping online is convenient, after all you can do it sitting in your boxers, while eating ice cream and smoking a cigarette, even burp or fart out load and no one will be the wiser. You can pretty much buy and sell anything online, from second hand sex toys to brand new Russian Brides. In many ways technology has made our lives easier, more convenient and to a certain degree cocooned us from the harsh reality of dealing with real sales people.

You see I prefer to book flights and pay for stuff online. Probably because I hate standing in lines, are too lazy to drive to certain places, having to first look for parking and then search for the company and/or shop I need to be at. Once you finally arrived at the place, you have to stand in a queue for a further 20 minutes, then when you finally reach the front of the queue you also have to deal with the sales person’s personality and whatever their mood is like that day. Dealing with websites seems faster, easier and far less frustrating. Websites don’t have queues, don’t have moods, don’t have an attitude problem and they hardly ever bring out the bitch in me. Well, that is until something goes wrong!

Yesterday the funds I needed for my flights to Nairobi finally got transferred and, as usual, the bank had a hundred and one questions before they finally released it. I was questioned like a terrorist or drug smuggler laundering money from Italy, but after a prolonged Q & A the bank was finally satisfied that I wasn’t militant or criminal and the cash was deposited. With money in my account I decided not to procrastinate and book and pay for my flights. So I went onto Kenya Airways’ website and what followed proved my theory on websites completely and utterly flawed.

Everything was going flawlessly. I managed to secure my preferred seats in Business class, earn my Flying Blue miles and then it came to the payment. I selected trusty old VISA, punched in my numbers and pressed confirm payment. PAYMENT DECLINE! “What?!!!!” The first time the website said this I was sure it was a glitch on their system. The third time those nasty words displayed, I was starting to doubt, and after the fifth time I actually went and checked my credit card balance to make sure there were sufficient funds and there was!

Quite irate at that point I decided it was time to deal with a call centre, so I dialled the number and an automated voice advised me they were closed and I should try again during business hours the next day. After consulting with my sister-in-law who’s a travel agent (which a whole blog post on its own) I contacted the call centre the next morning. “Kenyan Airways, Orbit speaking, how may I help you?” the voice said (I kid you not the guy’s name was really Orbit!) “Orbit, your website is broken! I tried to pay for my flights and your website declined my VISA! Declinnned it!!!” Orbit told me to call the airline’s website’s office, but the catch was it was in Nairobi “The call could be quite expensive if you call from South Africa” Orbit added. “Duh dude!” I thought as I vividly remember the nasty surprises I received in the mail, from my service provider, after my trips to Egypt, Madagascar and Luxembourg. So clearly phoning the “website fucker uppers” was out of the question.

“Orbit, I need to book these flights, give me options!” Orbit responded with options I didn’t approve off. I could book them telephonically but then there’s an additional charge. I can book them over the counter but then I have to drive to the Airport. I can book them through a travel agent but then they could be twice as expensive. “Orbit... Honey... listen to me very carefully. Give me online options, options that I can do from my laptop!” Orbit paused and then he said “Well... you can book your ticket online and choose cash payment instead of VISA, and then just do an Internet transfer of the funds into our account within 48 hours” “Isn’t that almost the same as paying by credit card anyway?” I asked quite confused. “Yes sir it is, but seeing as our credit card payment options is broken and Declinnned your VISA, this is the only remaining alternative left to suit your requirements, I do apologize for the inconvenience” he politely responded.

Orbit ended up being very sweat and helpful, and made me feel bad for being somewhat of a irate bitch at the beginning of our interaction. It took me a full 90 minutes from the first phone call to actually having my flights reserved, paid and finally confirmed. Orbit even dealt with the one thing that always causes arguments with staff at the Airport – my hand luggage. On 16 November, for the first time in my flying history, not only I, but my hand luggage too will be expected by both the ground crew and cabin crew and I was promised I will not have any hassles, and the same goes for my return flight on the 18th. Now that’s service for you! I hope this really will be the case as I don’t travel light. If they say the limit is 40KG’s I’ll pack 40 KG’s!! You never know what kind of trouble a Queen can get into while travelling and for that I need options of outfits and shoes!

Yes, in many ways technology, computers and websites have made our lives easier, more convenient and save us from dealing with rude people even though we can be quite rude ourselves. But sometimes technology fails us, declines us and all round just frustrates us. With my experience today, dealing with an actual human with a strangely appropriate name for his profession, I must say dealing with people isn’t always that bad. Sometimes you are lucky and they are friendly, helpful and competent. Kudos to you Kenya Airways for training your call centre staff well, and at the same time, shame on you for having a broken VISA payment page on your website – DECLINED, I mean really?

Till next time.

SHERRY VINE! - Forbidden Love

Gossip Queen Perez Hilton Apologizes

The celebrity gossip blogger Perez Hilton can easily be described as the most hated blogger in Hollywood.  Having outed many gay celebrities, calling others less than flattering nicknames and hanging celebrities' dirty laundry out on the Internet, it is understandable that he was being viewed as a bully!  But in light of the spate of recent gay teen suicides due to bullying he professes to have had an epiphany and now wants to change.  He recently went on the Ellen show to apologize.  Now the question on everybody's lips is - Can a leopard really change its spots?  Watch his interview on Ellen and his Youtube video that he posted to Demi Moore's Twitter account and decide for yourself.

Perez Hilton on the Ellen DeGeneres show (Full Interview)


Perez Hilton - I'm Going To Be Doing Things Differently

Techno Addiction, Do You Have It?

Finally I am the proud owner of a brand spanking new BlackBerry. Once more technology has found a new way to infiltrate my human existence and suck me further into the scripts, codes, numbers and programs of the virtual oblivion that is technology. Technology is advancing at lightning speed and new tools are being developed everyday all to help make our lives easier. Technology are also becoming more and more integrated into our lives and instead of making life simpler, in many respects, it’s making it more complicated. This led me to wonder, are we becoming unwittingly addicted to technology and its by-products?

We live in the information age where with the touch a button we can share our inner most thoughts with thousands of people, check up on what our friends and family are doing, keep abreast on current events or even learn how to make an atomic bomb, if you’re into that kind of thing. Now we can do all of this anywhere, anytime and as often as we like. Technology has made the world smaller, people smarter and information more accessible. But technology also has a flip side – as much as it has landed the world at our finger tips it has also made us more accessible to the world. And frankly, I am finding this exhausting and my BlackBerry is making matters worse!

You see there was a time when I had to be in front of my laptop or my PC to share my mind meanderings with the world, learn about the state of the gay planet and fan my flames of fagotry, but not anymore. Now the world lives inside my BlackBerry! The world follows me around, knows where I am, knows what I am doing and knows what I am thinking. The world is staking me and is insistent on updating me twenty four hours of the day, seven days a week and 365 days of the year. Whether I am in the bathroom making a number two, having sexy time with my husband or naked sun bathing my e-mails will reach me, strangers will poke me and CNN will Tweet me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that I will never miss a single thing. My trusty BlackBerry is sure to update me when Lindsay Lohan has her inevitable relapse, when my friends shocks the world by changing their Facebook relationships status from married to single and when Twitter wants me to know that Vigharthur from Iceland mentioned me in one of his titanic rants. Sure I can turn off these updates if they irritate me, sure I can switch my phone to bedside mode, sure I can cancel my Facebook and Twitter feeds, but I don’t because BlackBerry is evil!

When I do switch off my updates something terrible happens – I end up missing them! The absence of the chimes followed by the red flickering light indicating I have an update leaves me feeling desolate. It feels like the world has forgotten me. I know this must sound pretty pathetic, and it probably is, but the allure to be connected is a wicket curse perpetuated by my natural curiosity, and this frailty of mine is fully exploited by my obnoxious mini portal to the universe that is my phone. So, is this a curse, will my little minicomputer communicator consume my soul, destroy my actual social skills and render me void of free will?

There are many BlackBerry owners, some I know personally, whose social skills have suffered since they acquired their handheld windows to the world. They are unable to make eye contact during conversations as their eyes are firmly fixed on their phone’s screens, they are incapable of completing full sentences as they are constantly distracted, and if the date and time of an appointment is not loaded on their calendars or IM’d, Blue Toothed, SMS’d, MMS’d or E-mailed the appointment simply doesn’t exist. Some people’s entire life is loaded to their phones and the day a fatal system error occurs and the phone and SIM memory fails the world comes crumbling down, along with a complete and total shutdown of that person’s central nervous system upon the realization that their phone was last backed up more than a week ago.

And then there is BlackBerry Messenger, another “social” network devoted entirely to the BlackBerry elite, the people that shirked off IPhone. As if Facebook, MySpace and Twitter aren’t enough now there’s another network to divide your attention and some people spent every free moment chatting, or rather typing on it. It’s only a matter of time before they actually incorporate OMG, LMAO, LOL and WTF into an actual face-to-face conversation. Luckily I am not quite that far gone yet, but I fear I might be closer to the point of no return than I thought.

I’m teetering on the precipice of the matrix of avatars, profiles, screen names and Internet handles. My BlackBerry is gently coaxing me down a high-speed broadband path to complete and total connectivity, a virtual world that never sleeps, a world that’s constantly busy changing and a virtual world that doesn’t shut the fuck up! No one person is meant to be this up to speed with everything and nothing all at the same time. Information overload will one day kill us all unless we can stand up and say “Hi my name is Pierre and I refuse to be a techno addict!”

With all said and done, I still love my BlackBerry but I am aware of its potential dangers. After all it comes with a manufacturing warning that reads “If you’re BlackBerry causes you any physical discomfort, please refrain from using it for a couple of hours”. Technology is changing the way we live, communicate, make friends, connect and work. It is making our lives easier, but we can easily over complicate our own lives with our useful, over used and shiny gadgets and once you cross that virtual line you will become a techno addict – an addict whose drug of choice is mostly useless information and whose quick fix is an e-mail. The Betty Ford Clinic currently has no rehabilitation programs for this kind of addiction, so user beware! Don’t become a techno addict and please make an effort to, every so often, speak face-to-face with an actual human being and not just with the ones that lives inside your BlackBerry.

Till next time.

Cher Talks About "Burlesque"

Hate Crimes: We Give A Damn

Hate Crimes.
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This month, Ricky Martin, Elton John, Idina Menzel, Rachael Harris and Wanda Sykes speak out about why they give a damn about hate crimes and to say enough is enough. We will not tolerate hate any longer!

I GIVE A DAMN DO YOU?

Super Surprise Party

Some people love surprise parties a little too much!  I saw this video on Youtube and it made my Friday. Naturally I had to share it.

Mental Constipation!

It was bound to happen sometime, and I have been fearing its arrival.  But it finally came and it's dreadful! I have writer's block, or as I like to call it - Mental Constipation!  I know creative ideas are stuck in my brain somewhere, but dislodging from my grey matter they are not.  So in the next few days I'll take a virtual laxative and if that does not work, a dreaded virtual enema! Let's keep our fingers crossed - I want my mojo back!!!

It Will Get Better!

Nine out of ten gay teenagers experience bullying or harassment in school. Gay teenagers are also four times likelier to commit suicide. The statistics are shocking, but I too was part of this statistic once. You see I too experienced bullying and harassment in school, and I write this blog post for all those gay kids out there who feel isolated, misunderstood, scared and alone. I write this for you to tell you it will get better and you are not alone.

There are many gay teens out there in the world who is struggling to come to terms with their sexual orientations. Too many times they have to hear homosexuality is wrong, it is a sin to be gay or even that being gay is an abomination. They are called faggots, queers and are made to feel less than human. I know, because I once also was that teen who had to listen to this intolerance and hate. I too had to endure the teasing, the name calling, the endless bullying and yes, I too was made to feel like I was broken. I was made to feel like there was something wrong with me, something that should be fixed and if only I had the will power, I too could change and be normal, be normal like my friends.

You see no one chooses to be gay. I didn’t wake up one morning and decided I wanted to be different. I was born this way, this is what I was meant to be and yet the world wanted me to change. For a long time I kept my thoughts and feelings hidden away from my friends and family, it was my secret and if it were to come out I feared I would be rejected. I feared that I would no longer be loved.

For the longest time I felt like I was the only gay person in the world. The only thing I yearned for was to see and talk to other gay people as I had so many questions. I wanted to know whether things would be OK, I wanted to know what I could expect from live, will it be worth it, could I be gay and be happy and have a normal life, will I be able to fall in love with a man, get married, have children and I also had allot of question about sex and AIDS.

Little did I know that even in my own school there were others that were just like me – confused, scared and also carrying the burden of a secret with them like a cross on their backs that no one saw. Then the bullying started. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” simply isn’t true! Words hurt more than people know and words can also kill. I was not the only kid to suffer at the hands of bullies, but I was targeted because I was gay. Other kids were targeted because they wore glasses, had red hair, and were scrawny or fat. We all suffered, some suffered more than others.

Many days I went home from school and spend hours alone in my room thinking. I would be angry because I was different, I was angry at God because why did he make me the way he did. I would also be sad and many times I envied my straight friends. I envied them because society didn’t discriminate against them. I envied them because they were “normal”. It was a difficult time, a lonely time and I had nobody with whom I could share my anguish, talk to about my feelings or a shoulder to cry on, because I was scared and I didn’t feel like I could trust anybody, because what would happen if they learned my secret?

At that time I didn’t know that there were organizations I could contact who could help me make sense of my life and make sense of my feelings. Places I could go where there were people just like me, people who have experienced all I was going through and could give me valuable advice. So I went through it alone. But you don’t have to because you are not alone.

I survived high school, I survived the teasing, and the bullying and I survived the name calling. I survived not because I am stronger than you and not because I’m lucky, I survived because I knew deep down in my heart that things would get better one day, and it did and I am alive and blessed to be able to tell this to you today.

Today I am a happy gay man. I have married the man of my dreams and I am living a normal and fulfilled live, as normal as any of my straight friends. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and both our families have accepted us and our relationship. It wasn’t always easy for them but their hearts and minds did change. My husband and I have our ups and downs in our relationship like any other couple, but we love each other. I have a career where I am openly gay and I am not discriminated against in my work place but instead I am respected by my peers. I have come a long way since high school and I have no reason to fear admitting that I am gay - instead I am proud of it. It did get better and it is worth it!

No matter what they call you, what they say behind your back or write on your locker, you should never be ashamed of yourself. No matter how bad it seems right now, just know it will get better. There are thousands of other kids just like you and thousands more who will love you and accept you for who and what you are. You are not alone. You are special and precious and the world needs you. When times get tough and you feel like you had enough, please pick up the phone and call one of our many gay community centres. Your gay brothers and sisters are out there and we do want to help, because we love you just the way you are.  So please remember that you're not alone and it will get better!

Till next time.

This is especially for all the bullies and homophobes out there.

Homophobia Kills Again

The last two weeks were sad as tragedy struck the gay community once again. Homophobia has taken two young lives, two lives that were taken too soon, two young men with so much potential that now will never be fulfilled.

Both young men took their own lives, but it’s the people’s hate and intolerance that pulled the trigger and pushed the other off a bridge. It’s heart breaking, but GAY = DEATH once more. These two tragedies serves to remind us of how vulnerable our gay youths are and I hope it impresses in all our minds the urgency there is to protect them, rid the world of homophobia and educate the ignorant whose actions are killing us.

Asher Brown (13) from Houston, America shot himself in the head last week after being "bullied to death” because of his religious beliefs, for being small and for being gay.

Asher took his own life with his stepfather's 9 mm Beretta, which was "stored on one of the closet's shelves." There was no suicide note. His stepfather David found his body, lifeless, after coming home from work. "I thought he was laying there reading a book or something" he says. "My son put a gun to his head because he couldn't take what he was hearing and the constant teasing."

His mother Amy came home to police sirens and yellow tape at her house. "They called him different names for being homosexual," she says. "He just had enough."

Tyler Clementi (18) a freshman from Rutgers University walked onto the George Washington Bridge the night of 22 Sept and jumped over the edge, after two of his roommates secretly filmed him having sex with another man then posted it on the Internet thereby outing him as homosexual.

His last words, posted on Facebook about 10 minutes before he died, were brief and to the point: "Jumping off the gw bridge sorry." The comment gave no hint of the torment and mortification that lay behind the decision of gifted 18-year-old violinist to kill himself.

In a statement, his family said that "Tyler was a fine young man, and a distinguished musician. The family is heartbroken beyond words."

ASHER & TYLER REMEMBERED ON FACEBOOK

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  The Asher Brown Facebook Group
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  The Tyler Clementi Facebook Group