Scrumptious Multiple Orgasmic Experience

I have been feeling rather nostalgic lately. So when it came to picking this month’s recipe from Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking, I picked one that reminded me of my childhood. Gigot Pré-Salé, Roti (Roast leg of lamb) is a dish that reminds me of many celebratory dinners, friends and family enjoying each other’s company and a comforting sense of homeliness. Having cooked this dish 100’s of times before I was a tad curious as to how Julia’s recipe would differ from mine and also slightly nervous about Julia’s take on my interpretation of it.

You see roast leg of lamb is one of my all time favorite dishes and if I had to choose one last meal this would be it. Over the years I have perfected my recipe and it is now, I’m proud to say, completely fool proof. Stuffed with garlic and rosemary and served with golden and crispy oven baked potatoes, rich dark gravy and any vegetable as long as it’s green I have achieved many culinary standing ovations. So when I approached Julia’s recipe, I did so comfortably smug not believing that Julia could add anything that could better my already perfected dish. Boy was I wrong!

The devil is in the details, and details Julia provides plenty off. My recipe is quite simple. You take a roast leg of lamb (with the bone in), make small incisions all around and then insert peeled garlic cloves and rosemary, salt and pepper to taste and then place in a casserole dish. Add one unpeeled and halved onion, two carrots, a couple of unpeeled garlic cloves, rosemary, 250ml red wine, 250ml lamb stock, two bay leaves, 4 cloves, a dollop of salted butter, cover with foil, place lid on in stick in the oven at 90’C for 8-10 hours. The lamb is done when you can pull the bone clean out. But when it comes to Julia’s recipe a few extra steps are required.

Firstly, Julia’s recipe requires the lamb to be seared and this is not done in a frying pan, no… it’s done in the oven and it takes a good 20 minutes. Secondly, the lamb must be trussed before searing, something I completely forgot to do and only realized after the meat was already seared. All I could do at that point was to take a sip of red wine, shrug my shoulders and say “It’s not the end of the world now is it Julia?” The remainder of the recipe and the ingredients was pretty much similar to mine apart from the total cooking time and recommended oven setting. This was the one area I was not willing to compromise and I stuck to mine.

At 10pm I placed my roast leg of lamb in the oven to slowly cook and I set my alarm for 8am and went to bed. There’s nothing that says home and peace to me quite like the smell roast leg of lamb early in the morning. As I lay in bed breathing in the aroma of heaven I was whisked away by happy memories of Sunday lunches, Christmas dinners and my mother and grandmother when they were still alive and cooked this dish for me. It’s amazing how a single smell can take you back 5, 10, 20 years.

At 7am curiosity got the better of me and I rushed to the kitchen and took a peak at my lamb. It was cooked perfectly. Being way too early for lunch I decided to let the meat rest and I did too. Nearer to lunch time I commenced with the preparation of the butter parsley potatoes, string beans with bacon and onion and the spectacular gravy made from the liquids in the casserole dish in which the lamb had been bathing overnight.

With the lamb carved, potatoes, string beans and gravy prepared it was time to dish up. It was time to find out if Julia indeed bettered my signature dish. Laborie Cabernet Sauvignon 2008 was selected to be served with the lamb and with both our glasses filled we got stuck in. With my first mouthful I thought I had died and gone to heaven, the lamb melted in my mouth and the subtleties of flavor had my taste buds exploding with pleasure. I know this will be the second time I have said this about a Julia Child’s dish but it was an orgasm on a plate – it really was!

Julia Child’s Gigot Pré-Salé, Roti combined with my now updated recipe for Roast Leg of Lamb was a scrumptious multiple orgasmic experience that will see me in the gym at least 3 times this week. I can’t believe I doubted Julia to bring that extra magic to my signature dish. I will never doubt Julia Child ever again!

Till next time.

Julia Child and Lobster!

Bondage Chicken (Poulet en Cocotte Bonne Femme)

Sunday it was time again for me to cook something from Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking. This being the second time I was to cook one of her recipes I was slightly better prepared. This time I decided to prepare a chicken dish, a dish that I thought would be rather straightforward. But like all things Julia Child, nothing is ever that simple.

Saturday morning was spent searching the pages of the French Cooking Bible. I was looking for a chicken recipe that would not take me two days to prepare like the Boeuf À la Monde I cooked last month. After pawing over a few recipes I finally committed myself to the Poulet en Cocotte Bonne Femme. The choice was in part because our pantry was stocked with all the spices and herbs I would need and the only ingredients I had to buy was the chicken, baby potatoes and small onions. The dish would take 2 hours to prepare and the only thing that seemed complicated was the trussing of the chicken – something I had never done before.

Sunday morning the chicken was taken out from the fridge and washed thoroughly. I’m not sure why I had to do that, as the chicken looked pretty clean, but hey if Julia tells you to do something it’s best not to argue. After bathing the hen she was towel dried and left to reach room temperature. Apparently I become quite moody with the onset of each Julia recipe I cook, as hubby and I had a small argument about work space in the kitchen – a silly argument now that I think about it. By noon I was ready to start the dish and my nerves was calmed with a chilled glass of Durbanville Hills Chardonnay 2008. Never attempt a Julia recipe without it!

By means of some liquid courage and Julia’s detailed instructions for trussing a chicken I was ready to bondage the hen. With a large needle and string I approached the unsuspecting chicken with caution. There is something quite macabre about trussing a chicken, and for someone who can’t even sew a button onto a shirt I am proud to say that I managed to successfully complete this gory task. However, one thing I learned is that knowing the anatomy of your project is most definitely recommended as it took me a good 8 minutes to locate the correct second joint of the drumstick. I also learned a funny new trick and that’s to tie the chicken wings akimbo for which there was no illustration in the book (thank you Julia) and I had to Google it!

With the chicken tied and sewn up, I was ready to proceed. Peeling 15 small onions is not fun! There are many old wife tails on how to peel onions without crying and none of them works. Believe me I tried them all and by the time I reached my tenth onion I made peace with my tearing eyes and runny nose. With the onions peeled and boiling away I had ten minutes to peel 25 baby potatoes. Needles to say it took me more than 10 minutes and I learned the hard way why it’s important to use a blunt potato peeler.

Potatoes and onions prepared all that was left was to lightly brown the bacon and chicken. This is the part where cardiologists all over the world will have heart attacks. Julia Child was once quoted as saying “butter makes anything taste better” and she wasn’t kidding. The amount of butter that she suggested I add to the dish had my arteries clot up even before tasting anything. But once again I didn’t argue and added all the butter against my better judgement.

As I was assembling the dish for the oven I realized that nowhere in the recipe did Julia mention anything about adding any stock to the casserole. This made me a tad worried as I couldn’t help but wonder whether the chicken would be dry. With the hen, potatoes, onions, herbs and spices in the casserole I added the last few tablespoons of high blood pressure and heart attacks and then did something that could piss Julia off. I added garlic. This was not part of the recipe, but no French dish is complete without garlic. As I added it I silently prayed that it wouldn’t screw up the dish and that Julia would forgive me.

With the dish assembled I placed it into the oven to cook away for 1 hour and twenty minutes. Half way through I basted the chicken once and the aromas that filled the kitchen was both delicious and comforting. When the oven sounded that the Poulet en Cocotte Bonne Femme was ready I rushed to the kitchen very excited to see the end result. There is a sense of accomplishment when you take the lid of a casserole and catch your first glimpse and whiff of a successfully completed master piece.

Naturally as I placed the chicken, potatoes, onions and bacon on the serving plate I did wonder whether it looked anything like Julia’s and what she would say about my attempt and the garlic. Proudly bringing the meal to the dinner table hubby was wowed and a photo was promptly taken of it to add to my Julia Child album. The meal was scrumptious and I did feel slightly guilty for not inviting guests over for lunch. This is a dish I will definitely cook again and share with friends.

My confidence is slowly improving when it comes to Julia’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking. With my second recipe successfully completed I’m thinking that the next one should be bolder and more challenging. Whether I am setting myself up for a potential nervous breakdown, only time will tell...

Till next time.

"The Ring of Truth: Atoms" featuring Julia Child

Lunch with Julia Child

I love cooking and there is a wonderful sense of accomplishment having prepared an elaborate meal for people that you love and having them devour every last morsel. This year my husband thought it appropriate to challenge my culinary skills and gave me Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking (Volume I) for my birthday; the agreement being that once a month I will cook a new recipe from this Food Bible. Anyone who has ever attempted a Julia Child’s recipe will tell you it can be quite daunting as I discovered this weekend.

Mastering the Art of French Cooking is the Kamasutra of Food Porn. It’s more like an instruction manual than a cookbook and is almost 700 pages thick. Just looking at it makes me nervous. So when the time came to actually attempt one of the recipes, I did so with great caution. You see most of the recipes runs over multiple pages and involve multiple steps which if done incorrectly will lead to certain disaster resulting in Julia Child’s soul becoming unsettled and her coming back and haunting your kitchen or beating you with a meat tenderizer. So there is definite pressure to get it right the first time!Julia Child once famously said “If you can read you can cook”, however she failed to mention in order to be able to cook other essential skills must also be acquired – the ability to multitask, perfect time management and being able to stay calm under pressure. As I thumbed my way through the Julia Instruction Manual of Food I was searching for a recipe that I thought would be relatively simple, maybe a little bit challenging and would leave me sane once the cooking was finished. After much deliberation and 2 hours later I finally committed to attempting her Boeuf À la Monde (Beef Braised in Red Wine) pages 309 to 312.
After carefully studying the recipe and making sure I understood exactly what was needed, hubby and I headed to the supermarket as some crucial ingredients was absent from our pantry – mainly copious amounts of alcohol! You see almost all of Julia’s recipes contains alcohol, if it’s not wine, it’s brandy, port or whiskey or all of the aforementioned. For this recipe I needed to buy 2 bottles of red wine (1 for cooking and 1 for drinking) and a bottle of brandy (for cooking, maybe drinking if I screw things up). An ingredient I have never used before and that was essential was allspice berries – not something readily available in South African supermarkets, but I finally track some down in a Chinese mini-supermarket. With a prime cut of pot-roast rump, wine, brandy, allspice berries, vegetables and a new casserole dish we headed home.
As I started arranging all 13 ingredients of the recipe on my kitchen counter I had a mini panic attack. This was not going to be a breeze and it was going to be labour intensive and I was feeling overwhelmed! After several deep breaths and a small prayer I got stuck in. The beef had to marinade for 12 to 24 hours (refrigerated) and if we had any change of eating by 1pm on Sunday I had to get the rump into its boozy marinade within the next 30 minutes. Frantic chopping started, exact measurements made and 45 minutes later the tied-up piece of beef (yes Julia provides meat bondage instruction to) was submerged in its marinade to slowly get inebriated. With the meat safely tucked away in the fridge I successfully completed Phase I of the four phase cooking process, and I was chuffed with myself and celebrated with a glass of red wine.
The next morning at exactly 10am Phase II needed to start – browning the meat. Julia is very particular about this. The meat had to be placed on a drip tray at exactly 9:30am and then towel dried. Once just the right amount of oil (or lard) starts to smoke in your pan the rump must be browned on all sides. This was the first time I actually managed to brown any piece of meat so perfectly, I guess the towel drying did the trick. Then the marinade had to be boiled to reduce it by half and soon Phase II was completed and neither I nor my kitchen was set on fire. Now Phase III could start – cooking. Running 30 minutes behind schedule the meat finally made it to the oven. It had to cook for 3 hours with the meat being turned every 30 minutes. During the 3 hours I paid 14 visits to the oven, 6 to turn the meat and 8 just to stare at the casserole dish and smell the divine smells that were slowly permeating the kitchen.
After an exhausting 3 hours the meat was finally cooked and it shrunk exactly as much as Julia said it would. With the meat cooked I was ready for the fourth and final phase of the recipe – making the gravy (I love gravy, hence my cholesterol problem!) Again I needed more wine to mix the flower with which to thicken the sauce. The gravy took me 35 minutes and it came out lightly thickened as per Julia’s instructions. The gravy also tasted perfect and didn’t require any additional seasoning. At 2:25pm (an hour and twenty five minutes behind schedule) I was ready to serve lunch.
As I took out my best French serving plate and arranged the meat and parsley and garlic potatoes (which I cooked while preparing the gravy) I admired my culinary accomplishment. However, I couldn’t help but think I forgot something. Hmmm, Julia... what is missing? Utterly horrified I realized I completely forgot to cook the braised onions and carrots that were supposed to be the side dish. It being too late to cook it the only thing I could do was quietly apologized to Julia, begged for her forgiveness and serve the braised beef and potatoes on its own and pretend this is how it was meant to be served. As hubby and I took our first bites it was unanimous – we both thought it was freaking divine, like an orgasm on a plate!!! It took me two days to make, but at the end was well worth the effort and stress. I did exactly what Julia told me and the Boeuf À la Monde came out perfectly, minus the forgotten side dish.
I love cooking almost as much as I love eating good food. From now on, once a month Julia Child will pay my kitchen a visit and the aromas and tastes of France will fill my house on a Sunday. As I make my way through Julia’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking, I know there will be many mini-breakdowns, some crying and loads of dirty dishes but most importantly good food made with love and shared with good friends – all under the critical supervision of Julia Child of course.
Till next time.

David Letterman - Julia Child