The Gay Plague

1981 saw the emergence of a disease that would change the gay community and later the world’s attitude towards our sexual behavior, lifestyle and prejudices. It was 1st described as the Gay Plague; a disease that only affected gay men and was 1st called GRID (Gay Related Immune Deficiency). During the 80’s the word GRID was replaced with AIDS and this filled people with a horrendous fear as images of dying emaciated gay men were plastered in the media.

During this time it was uncertain how the disease was transmitted and it was viewed as a death sentence and was highly stigmatized. Having the Gay Plague was shameful and society alienated those infected due to fear and ignorance. Now, 30 years later, I wonder how much have changed?

My 1st encounter with HIV and AIDS was with a friend of mine in 1996. He was diagnosed with HIV 8 years prior and during the winter of 1996 he fell ill and died of AIDS related complications. All his friends knew of his HIV status that’s why we found it shocking that his family at his funeral told people he had died of Cancer. Even after his death his illness was denied. The shame of having a gay son was soon superseded by having a gay son with HIV that died of the disease.

His family never approved of his lifestyle and had always blamed his homosexuality for his death when, as a matter of fact, he contracted the illness through a blood transfusion after a car accident. His family have still not forgiven the gay community for what we evidently had done to their son; his death instead of enlightening his family to the plight of people with HIV has made them homophobic and left them angry. Whether their prejudice and anger has dissipated since is uncertain.

One of my best friends of 12 years was diagnosed with HIV 8 years ago. I remember the day he told me.  He had just learned of his diagnoses the week before and was still reeling from shock. I remember him finding it difficult to muster the courage to utter the words. In his eyes I could see his fear, sadness and helplessness as he faced an uncertain future. All he longed for from me was an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on and someone to provide him with encouragement and support and not to be judgmental.

Isn’t that what we all would want? He admitted that he contracted HIV due to having unprotected sex. I remember thinking to myself that he should have known better, and now due to one stupid incident he’s going to live with a sword hanging over his head for the rest of his life. Naturally, I kept my thoughts to myself; after all it happened and he’s HIV+ now and there is no use crying over spilled milk.

The 1st year following his diagnoses he found it incredibly difficult to accept. Due to denial and anger he spent the year engaging in self-destructive behavior – abusing alcohol and drugs. I recall having a conversation with him trying to convince him to get his life back on track but he refused as he was of the attitude that he’s going to die anyway so why prolong the process. He also mentioned that he intended to commit suicide once he got full blown AIDS as he wouldn’t want his friends and family to watch him suffer.  He was not scared of dying but feared the process of dying! At the time his threat of suicide was no idle one.

His family did not make things easier.  In fact, due to ignorance, they made things worse. They would have separate cutlery for him in the house and his laundry was kept separate from theirs - he was truly being treated like he had the plague. I am sure his family didn’t do this because they didn’t love him; they were scared as they didn’t quite know how to deal with and support their child and brother with HIV.

Gradually, as time passed, his family became more educated and their attitude and ignorant behavior changed. Family life almost returned to normal: 2 years after being diagnosed he was still alive and no family member got infected by sharing a glass with him or having their laundry done with his. However, his self-destructive behavior continued until he fell seriously ill.

For the 1st time he faced the real possibility of death. The experience changed him and the realization came that if he does not accept and deal with the fact that he’s HIV+ and take responsibility for his own live and health he would not live past the age of 30. He had a fundamental paradigm shift as only a near death encounter can achieve. For the last 5 years he has lived a normal, healthy and productive life. He has even had a couple of relationships, which is notoriously difficult as very few healthy gay men would be willing to date someone with HIV. However, he did find someone and they were together for almost 2 years. Like most things in life it has not been smooth sailing and a few health scares has rocked the boat. What I have learned from him is that your attitude, shear will and optimism plays an important part of living with HIV – it’s no longer is a death sentence as was first thought 30 years ago.

Being only 4 years old when the Gay Plague surfaced I literally grew up with it. Now,  34 I have seen how society and their attitudes have changed. HIV is no longer an exclusively gay disease and all spheres of society from all corners of the world are affected. There are very few people whose lives have not been touched by the disease as most of us know someone or know off someone who has HIV.

As we have learned more about the disease, how it’s transmitted and newer and more effective treatments are developed HIV+ people are living longer and their quality of life have also improved. However, in many communities HIV is still stigmatized and ignorance about the disease is still rampant. With all we know and have learned about HIV there are still people that engage in unprotected sex and people who refuse to get tested out of fear. After 30 years much have improved but many problems still remain that only our generation can change if we want to leave the world better place for the next generation.

One way to support this cause is to get involved. I recently discovered a very inspiring website called Positive Heroes . There are similar groups and websites across the globe; they say it only take one person to make a difference – let that 1 person be you!  Know your status and get tested today.

Till next time.

The Gift of Death

With the celebration of World Aids Day on 1 December around the corner and with this year's theme  being “Getting to Zero” I decided to engage some people on this topic. During one such discussion the bizarre phenomenon of deliberate HIV infection was brought to my attention. I vaguely recall hearing of this a few years ago (in 2003), but thought it was an isolated incident; with further exploration I discovered to my horror it is still being practiced. This phenomenon is called Bug Chasing.

Bug Chasing is described as a subculture of homosexual men who actively pursue sex with HIV infected people in order to get infected themselves. However, in recent times, this practice has now also spilled over to the heterosexual community. This peculiar practice has also given rise to its own terminology:

Bug Chaser: Person who deliberately attempts to contract HIV by having unprotected sex with a person or a group of people who are known or suspected to have the virus.

Gift Giver: A HIV+ person who deliberately transmits the virus to those willing to contract it.

Bug/Conversion Parties: Sex parties where unsafe sex is encouraged and where bug chasers can potentially be infected by a gift giver. At these parties there are usual only a few HIV+ participants and only the host of these parties knows of these individuals positive status.

HIV has become a manageable disease and many infected individuals live normal and healthy lives with an increased life expectancy. It no longer is the death sentence it was thought to be nearly 30 years ago. This put aside, we are all aware that there still is no cure or vaccine for this disease and many people still perish due to AIDS; with the majority of AIDS related fatalities occurring in poverty stricken countries where access to modern medicine is limited. So why would any person in their right mind want to be infected with HIV?

A variety of studies have been done on the psychological and sociological reasons for this type of behaviour. The findings on the Bug Chasers range from people with anxiety disorders that wanted to get contaminated to relieve their fear of getting infected; people doing it to get free medical care; people who felt isolated and viewed being HIV+ as a means through which they would gain acceptance and sympathy; sex addicts; and people who demonstrates sexual risk taking behaviour seeking a new thrill or sexual high.

Whatever the motivation for any person wanting to get infected I find it outrages, irresponsible and borderline criminal! How long before these individuals realize the so-called “Gift” they received have far reaching consequences and in all probability could lead to their untimely departure from this planet. It’s nothing less than suicide! The Gift Givers, in my opinion, are criminals. In many countries around the world the deliberate infection of people with HIV has been criminalized and charges of attempted murder can be filed against them. I find it unfathomable how any person could knowingly infect another person even if the recipient is a willing participant.

Having a few friends who are HIV+ and having had one friend who passed away from AIDS, I distinctly recall their reactions upon receiving their diagnoses. Not a single one of them were filled with joy upon receiving the news. Their diagnoses were followed with depression, anger and fear. One described being HIV+ as living with a time bomb inside you, never knowing when or where it will ignite. Most of my HIV+ friends have come to terms with their HIV status and live with it quite comfortably but remains aware of its potential lethal end game.

I find it quite ironic that such a practice as Bug Chasing exists in light of this years World AIDS day’s theme - Getting to Zero. Are both the Bug Chasers and Gift Givers in denial? Do they even know how many people are infected world wide and don’t have access to potentially life saving medication, how many people die of AIDS and have they ever seen the devastation of this disease during its final deadly grip? Being infected with HIV will not make them part of a special or elite brotherhood, most definitely will not help cure AIDS and not free them from the eventuality that we all face at the end of our existence.

Many people across the world are denied the basic human right to receive access to essential HIV medication and dies as a result. Therefore, it is quite disturbing that in developed countries such a flagrant disregard exists amongst people regarding their health. The fact that they deliberately infect themselves and spread a virus whilst having access to all the treatments that will keep them alive longer is not only selfish but is also destructive. There are people across the world who didn’t ask for this virus, who do not want to die, yet they will die unless granted the same opportunities and access to essential medications.

I hope participants in Bug Chasing come to realize that this “Gift” they refer to is the Gift of Death, and engaging in it is profoundly immoral, in my opinion, and only perpetuates the spread of the disease, worsening the situation and putting unnecessary strain on healthcare and pharmaceuticals making treatment inaccessible to those who are truly in dire need.  Hopefully we will get to Zero one day.  Perharps that one day will be the day the Bug Chasers are dead.

Till next time.

The Gift

World Aids Day

Do you support World Aids Day?

Always Practise Safe Sex.

Know your status and get tested.

Access for all to HIV prevention, treatment, care and support is a critical part of human rights.

Pope Benedict XVI

It is no secret, I don’t have much respect or time for Pope Benedict XVI. The ex-Nazi who with his visit to Auschwitz during June 2006 confirmed his anti-Jewish stance and denial of German responsibility of what happened there could be seen as a trend of his now ungodly career. Denial seems to come very easy to this Pope even in the midst of sex abuse scandals that have been plaguing the Catholic Church of late. This Pope is ignorant, a homophobe, sexist, pedophile protector and has no business heading the Catholic Church. This why his current state funded papal visit to the United Kingdom appalls me. What does this say about the United Kingdom? Is the UK implicitly endorsing papal policy by funding this visit? I hope not! Here are 4 reasons I condemn Pope Benedict XVI’s visit to the UK.

Firstly, Pope Benedict XVI is ignorant on the issue of HIV and Aids. In 2009 the Pope stated “[AIDS in Africa is] a tragedy that cannot be overcome by money alone, that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which even aggravates the problems”. When I heard this I was shocked. Does the Pontiff not care that three quarters of global death by AIDS is occurring in his ideological playground? Or is the fact that Africa is not contributing enough to the Vatican’s coffers the reason why it’s better to let Africans contract HIV instead of preventing it by distributing condoms and advocating safe sex?

Secondly, Pope Benedict XVI is a homophobe. In 2004 in an instruction ordered by him, the church reiterates its medieval policy on practiced homosexuality: “Regarding [homosexual] acts, it [the Catechism of the Catholic Church] teaches that Sacred Scripture presents them as grave sins. The Tradition has constantly considered them as intrinsically immoral and contrary to the natural law. Consequently, under no circumstance can they be approved.” Not only does the Pope condemn gay folk to hell he also does not afford homosexuals equal rights in the Catholic Church. Love the sinner but hate the sin does not seem to resonate with this Pope. I guess God did not create all of his children in his image after all.

Thirdly, Pope Benedict XVI is a sexist. There is and will never be equal opportunities for women in the Catholic Church as was categorically stated this month. No women will ever be ordained into clergy because that is the realm of men and women will never be good enough. So shame on all Catholic women with successful careers, how could you! I suspect the Pope prefer women to be pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen and his nuns submissive and obedient.

Lastly, Pope Benedict XVI is a pedophile protector and this has started as early as 1985: While occupying a senior position in the Vatican, the now Pope is alleged to have urged no action be taken against a priest who had been convicted of molesting a girl of six, lest it damaged further the reputation of the Church. He has also been accused by victims of failing to act on information about a priest who had abused more than 200 children, and of supporting a system where suspect priests were quietly moved to new parishes rather than be challenged. Now this just makes me sick to my stomach.

Pope Benedict XVI visit to the United Kingdom and the fact that the UK has funded this papal visit is shocking. I hope that the Pope is not planning to set foot in South Africa. With everything that he has done, stood for and covered up it’s understandable that he has to be displayed to the public behind bullet proof glass.

Till next time.

Lady Gaga - Alejandro (I thought it appropriate!)

Shattered Glass of Pope Benedict XVI

People who live in glass houses should not throw stones but I guess this exclude those whose glass houses are bullet proof and sheltered by faith. His holiness Pope Benedict XVI seems to be one such individual. Being the spiritual leader and earthly head of the Roman Catholic Church his holiness is safely nestled away in his Apostolic Palace within Vatican City and appears to be a radical traditionalist and a bigot. Having been quoted in 2008 as saying “Saving the world from Homosexual acts is as important as saving the rain forest” and recently stating that British gay equality legislation violates 'natural law' he is fast becoming unpopular not only amongst gay rights groups but the general public as well. The Roman Catholic Church has not been without its own transgressions and scandals and this led me to ask: Should we take moral direction from a religious group that can’t even keep their own morals and integrity in check?
It is no secret that I don’t approve of organized religion. My personal experience with Churches has been filled with hypocrisy. Being gay in organized religion (much like the fashion industry), one day you’re in and the next day you are out! It’s all horribly confusing but the Catholic Church has stayed the course when it comes to homophobia and their stance is unwavering. Quite interesting when one takes into account that Vatican City has an estimated population of 826, the majority of which are males wearing dresses. Not to mention the homoerotic nuances of religious ceremonies with altar boys helping the priests prepare and then there is the Pope with his rather attractive male personal secretary- the hunky Monsignor Georg Gänswein. This could be any elderly gay man’s ultimate fantasy having a young good looking man at your beg-and-call 24/7. But I digress...
Through the years the Catholic Church have been battered with a number of sex scandals and indiscretions. For years the abuse of children and the predatory Priests and other members of the Catholic religious order who violates children have been shuffed under the rug and the extent of the molestations kept secret. However, these odious acts became less of a secret when the media first started to report on them in Canada, Ireland and in the United States (to mention but a few countries). Still the Church fell short of admitting it had a problem and still it hasn’t changed how they treat allegations of child abuse by its clergy and not to mention the lack of any forthcoming apology. Yet, the Church preaches good moral values and depicts homosexuality as violating natural law.
Another bizarre statement by the Pope “The scourge [of AIDS] cannot be resolved by distributing condoms; quite the contrary, we risk worsening the problem” I find extraordinarily harmful. Does the Church not understand the extent of the HIV pandemic? If they can’t even keep their own clergy from abstaining from sex how do they think the rest of the world would fare adopting a responsible and moral attitude towards sex? Claiming that the Roman Catholic Church is on the forefront of fighting HIV and AIDS, his statement made me seriously doubt the efficiency of their weaponry in this battle. The archaic stance on condoms is a reflection of an institution yet to truly understand the reality most of its followers face, but some within the Catholic Church are divided on this issue as those who work with AIDS patients see this disease’s devastation first hand.
Persisting chauvinistic theories in the Catholic Church also still appear to dominate most of their policies and functions. Woman still are excluded from positions of authority in the Church and the proverbial glass ceiling seems to be tempered and will not shattered anytime soon. The Vatican has shown little sign of making provisions for gender equality within its ranks and all appear docile and silent on the subject matter. The “good Catholic wives and mothers” are ignored and have to be content with their status; all the nuns who have a desire and calling to be priests will not have their desires met. There seems to be no conscience on this issue in Rome, not even an inkling of an episcopal conscience about the potential harm this inequality may cause the Church in the future.
After all is said and done, one can’t contest the power and the reach the Roman Catholic Church has with Pope Benedict XVI now firmly at its helm. Homosexuality is still viewed as against natural law, ancient attitudes about modern phenomena still prevails, the Church is still a chauvinistic dominated machine and scandals and indiscretion amongst clergy still occurs and are concealed. For many they still will draw strength and gain moral direction from the Roman Catholic Church and their faith will remain strong. Others will lose trust in the Church and seek spiritual guidance elsewhere. One thing is certain, no human being is perfect and no religious group is either. Proclaiming perfection is unattainable even for Pope Benedict XVI. Where you choose to gain moral guidance is up to you but best make sure you choose wisely and that your glass house stay strong. I wish his holiness Pope Benedict XVI well with his upcoming visit to the United Kingdom later this year, and hope his holiness will be more open to the changing times, throw no more rocks and leave behind less shattered glass.

Till next time

Kathy Griffin on Catholics

I’ve got the Swine Flu!

First there was the Bird Flu and the world was in a panic, having also forever changed my view of birds. Now there is the Swine Flu, and yet again fears of a pandemic are rife. Never in a million years did I think I would contract this disease – a disease associated with pigs! Being well on my way to a full recovery I am happy to report that I have not grown a pig tail or developed an irresistible attraction to mud. I have however been coughing and sneezing my way through a very uncomfortable few days looking like Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer.
Having been at a conference for the better part of last week I developed flu like symptoms earlier in the week. At first I thought it may just be allergies (sometimes I should life in a plastic bubble as I am allergic to dust, grass, pollen, feathers and list goes on). It started with a runny nose, progressed to a severe head ache, sore throat, muscle pain and then the coughing started. By Friday morning I could not get out of bed, feeling like death warmed up. I remembered joking about maybe having Swine Flu earlier in the week, but by this time the joked seemed less hilarious and more of an ominous punishment. Later, on Friday morning my Dr confirmed I indeed had the Swine Flu and I was advised to inform my colleagues to consult with a Dr if they present with symptoms. The phone call to my boss was met with a nervous chuckle. At first he was slightly shocked but having a mature sense of humor he made a dietary comment suggesting I eat a lot of bacon, drink plenty of fluids and get some bed rest.
Armed with Tamiflu, antibiotics and assortment of other medicine I returned home. Upon seeing the small pharmacy I had in hand my housekeeper asked me what was wrong. I told her I had swine flu. She paused, frowned then shrugged her shoulders and said “At least it’s better than having Aids!” and continued washing the dishes. The warmth and empathy emanating from her was absolutely palpable as she has the bedside manner of an undertaker. I made my way to the bedroom feeling very sorry for myself as only a sick gay man can do, got into my pj’s and crawled into bed. The next few days passed in a medicated haze with chills, fever, slight nausea and persistent coughing. Husband handling sick people with much greater ease than I do was the perfect nurse, all he needed was the cute outfit. At least his empathy was genuine and his chicken soup delicious but it reminded me of Bird Flu.
Having been immobilized for last few days I had a lot of time to think. I wondered where all these queer diseases come from, and how they are given their names. I guess it’s been made easy -Bird Flu is derived from birds and Swine flue from pigs. Both diseases being quite exotic, quite contagious and now infamous but yet their names do not reflect how they will make you feel. Not having had Bird Flu I shall not comment on it, but having had Swine flu I feel obliged to rename it to appropriately describe what the patient can expect. Taking into account how dreadful I felt the last couple of days, on account of this flu, I feel it appropriate to rename it the “Spewing Wheezing Intolerable Nauseating Evil Flu” – SWINE for short!
Swine Flu being as contagious as it is, I was left to retrace my steps to determine where I contracted it. The only conclusion I could reach is that this pig flu was given to me by some swine at a restaurant the previous weekend. My husband is quite lucky that I was away during the time I was infectious otherwise in all probability he would have contracted it as well. It would have been a rather unpleasant domestic situation had we both been ill. Our cats probably would have gone into a panic as their only source of food would have been bedridden.
Recovering from the Swine Flu and can honestly say I do not recommend it. I am quite fortunate that I only had a mild case I didn’t need to be to go to the “Germ Factory” (aka hospital). In all honesty I must admit Swine Flu is unpleasant but it’s not as bad as people think - it’s basically flu on steroids! If you look after yourself and go to the Dr in time it pretty much is non-lethal. You will feel like road kill but within a week you will be back on your feet again, with fond memories of having survived the Swine Flu, being a statistic and making sure if anyone coughs or sneezes near you to run away screaming while searching your bag for disinfectant.

Till next time.

Elvira Kurt at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal .