No, I don't want to friend your cock.

I have been on Facebook since 25 June 2007.  That is like a really serious commitment or relationship in the cyber world.  I have been on Facebook longer than what most people’s relationships last; longer than what most people, including myself, stay at the same job.  Through the last nine years I had my fair share of dramas on and with Facebook. It's like having a really needy lover. I have also learned that there are seriously unstable people on Facebook who desperately need to be fucking medicated and in therapy.  They make me lean toward being a misanthropic person as I don't like to deal with fucked up people in real life nor do I want to in the cyber world. Reflecting back on my, sometimes tumultuous, relationship with Facebook I could not help but wonder, are people really as fucked up in real life as they seem to be on the internet.

During the last nine years I have been banned from Facebook twice.  Yes banned! Twice!  Coincidentally, both times were preceded by some rather disturbing hate mail I received from some fanatical religious freaks who took great umbrage at my mere existence.  These were the same assholes who, in all probability, reported me to the gods at Facebook who in return, instead of investigating the “complaints”, rather opted to disable my account.  Both times it took weeks and a torrent of emails for the Facebook gatekeepers to come to their senses and to reinstate.  It was much like being broken up with. It was horribly emotional. The most recent time they threatened to banish me was because I had too many friends.

You see, Facebook has a 5000 friend limit.  I have reached that limit a couple of times at which point I was instructed by a faceless bot message to clean up my friend list OR ELSE.  Facebook can sometimes be a very mean and domineering lover. Do you know how long it took me to scrutinize my entire friend list?  It toke not take days – it took weeks!  The last time I was threatened to clean up my friend list was last year and it took me a whole week to delete just over 2000 people.  My criteria was simple:  If you don’t have a profile picture of yourself, you were unfriended.  If your name is “Gay Love”, “iFuck a Lot” or “BJ King” or anything ridiculous like that you were deleted.  And if you have your private parts as your profile picture you were unfriended.  And this leads me to my next point.  Why do some people think you are primarily on Facebook for sex?

My Facebook profile clearly states “married” under my relationship status.  Surely the people who inbox me on Facebook can’t be illiterate?  I have gotten countless messages over the years ranging from people who were soliciting sex from me, wanting to know if hubby and I were into gang bangs, asking how big my dick is, what fetishes I am into and the best ones were “ASL” (age sex location).  Now if you need to ask me that on Facebook you are either just fucking retarded or super lazy!  I mean honestly, don’t these people read your profile before sending you profanities and wanting to have carnal knowledge of your body?  If I don’t know you chances are good that I also don’t want to play occupy the anus with you especially if we are not even on the same continent. Have these people never heard about fucking Grindr?

And then there are the people on Facebook who firmly believe that their dicks are their best physical attribute.  They are so very proud of their penises that they prominently display it as their profile pictures.  Now if you invite me as a friend and all I can see is your erection that is pointing the wrong way which barely disguises your unkept bush and hairy balls, chances are good that I will not accept your request.  Chances are even better that I will report your profile to Facebook and the message you will get in your inbox from me will read “No, I don’t want to friend your cock!”  I mean seriously, would you walk around in public with your crown jewels hanging out of your pants?  Doing it on Facebook is pretty much the same thing, don’t you think? You should be ashamed of yourself and possibly be arrested or lewd and lascivious conduct. There should really be a law about stuff like this. Just saying.

But Facebook don’t just have overly horny folks on it, they also have the spammers.  You know who I am talking about.  Those people who like to post products on their timelines, obsessively tag you in photos of brands, inbox 50 people at a time with “You can win an iPhone 6S” and those folks who troll groups and pages and post links to websites ranging from pornography to dating sites.  I believe there is a special place in hell for these fucktarts right next to telemarketers, homophobes, Hitler and Robert Mugabe.  I don’t know why Facebook doesn’t ban them.  Most of their profiles are fake anyway and this is why I never accept friend request from girls posing in sexy positions that have a lot of friends but never post anything on their timelines except for spam. Spam like dildos and cock rings. The latter making the song "If you like it you shoulda put a ring on it" pretty indecent. Shame on you Beyonce. Shame. On. You.

The other crowd of the people who occasionally annoy me on Facebook are the folks who clearly need to be in therapy and who are always airing all of their dirty laundry in public.  Sure sometimes it is entertaining reading their status updates in my news feed.  Following their mental meltdowns during the course of eight hours or reading how they are trying to get rid of their one night stands the next morning is quite entertaining.  But have these folks no shame?  Are they not aware that their friends are reading these status updates and are judging them?  Some days while reading my news feed on Facebook I feel so much more normal and mentally stable in comparison to some of my internet friends.  Watching their shit go down in real time feels a little voyeuristic, but hey if they post it who am I not to read it. The little melodramas is like watching a soap on television the only difference being that you can comment and engage with the characters. Not that I do that but I have been very tempted to.

Lastly, I have a certain group on Facebook which I have been trying to close down now for well over three years but with little success.  Apparently winning a war in Iraq is easier than closing down a group on Facebook.  I decided to close the group down due to spam, people using it as their personal sex hookup spot, endless “add me” posts and a few other unsavory reasons.  I have closed the wall, banned hundreds of folks and outright threatened people.  Yet, the group continues to grow and currently have well over 22 000 members.  It boggles the mind.  Why would people stay in a group where they can’t do anything?  Moreover, why the hell would anyone want to join the group either?  The group is called “Gaywarfare” but it should be called “Whores, Orgies & Spam” instead.

Yes, Facebook is filled to its cyber brim with some fucked up people.  Perhaps some folks on Facebook think that I am fucked up as well, the lord knows I too have my moments. The internet and Facebook is the one place where you can truly embrace how fucked up you really are. You can confess all your secrets to your lover called Facebook. You can tell him about all your problems and have a meltdown in front of your laptop and Facebook will comfort you. You can be a hot mess and Facebook will love you anyway. And we will all read about it and secretly judge you while liking your posts. Facebook never said he was the monogamous type. You should really have read his terms and conditions. I think all relationships should have them. If I had terms and conditions which you accepted you cannot later be all like "I did not sign up for this" because you did.

*mental note: start writing my terms and conditions*

Till next time.

I Have Fallen and I Can’t Get Up

I am not sure what the planets are doing but Uranus must be in retrograde and Saturn is probably on her period.  The last two weeks I have been plagued with bad luck and like they say - bad things always happen in threes.  Well, if that is indeed the case then I should be happy right?  Three bad things have already happened to me, and if that is not enough I possibly will be getting some more bad news in the mail within the next week or so.  It’s always good to have a backup, because that’s how I roll.  So it goes without saying that I am rather depressed at the moment.  You know, in the glass is half empty kind of way.  But before I cause your serotonin and dopamine levels to plummet into the abyss of depression as well, let me tell you what has happened.  After all, if we can’t laugh at the misfortune of others what sort of bitches are we anyway?

It all started two weeks ago in a certain shopping centre’s parking lot which I now call the Parking Lot of Doom.  At the best of times I avoid going there because their parking is a nightmare and their parking spaces are smaller than what they should be. I have measured them! Literally!  I have also scratched my car on their pavement once before and since then I have had a mental block about that place.  So when I decided to stop there after work I was very cautious but when I finally found a parking spot right in front of the shop I wanted to go to, I couldn’t be believe my luck.  I am lazy as shit like that, I hate walking and small things like that makes me happy.  However it wasn’t my lucky day and what was already a bad day was about to get even worse.

As I was turning into the already small parking space which was made even smaller by another asshole with a 4x4 who parked like an idiot I had a boo boo : as I was pulling in trying to squeeze my car into the space I accidentally scratched the car next to me.  The sound of two cars scraping against each other is the most horrible sound one can ever hear.  But seeing as it happened and I was responsible I got out of my car to inspect the damage.

Luckily the damage wasn’t that bad and the other car also just had a few scratches.  As I was waiting for the other car’s driver to return so that we can exchange insurance details my little accident started drawing a swarm of people.  One would have sworn I drove over someone’s puppy as the people came to inspect the damage, whisper among themselves and judge my parking skills.  When the lady eventually returned we had a cordial exchange and told each other how we wished we could have met under better circumstance and went our separate ways.

I have not been back to that shopping centre and their parking lot of doom since.  My car will go in to have the scratches fixed next week and in the mean time I am pretending that it never happened.  Bad luck number two is Facebook related.  I think social media sometimes brings out the worst in people.  I have seen firsthand how people will do and say things on social media that they would never dare do or say in real life.  Since I have been on Facebook I have made some enemies, from homophobic freaks, religious assholes to even some gay people.  Normally it doesn’t really bother me much and I mostly ignore them.  Mostly.  But every so often one of these idiots will do something that annoys the shit out of me and exactly this happened last week.

My Facebook Fan page for my blog has grown steadily and presently it has just over 10 000 likes.  But like I mentioned there are quite a few people who hates me and hates my blog.  Seeing as they cannot destroy my blog and/or kill me they go for option number two – maliciously reporting me to Facebook.  Last week some asshole reported a photo I posted on my Fan Page of a naked man which you could only see from the waist up as offensive.  Then some pimpled face Facebook employee who probably is a Mormon then also felt deeply offended by the fine specimen of the male species and then imposed a 30 day block on my profile.

So for the next 30 days I can only access Facebook but I am not allowed to post.   My Facebook Pages are still being updated, albeit not by me.  I was once also confused by Facebook for being a pornographer because I posted I picture of nuns painting a naked man of which you could only see his ass.  But for that I only received a warning.  This time I am in Facebook jail for a month.  Which led me to ask, is my Facebook Page making you horny?  You don't have to answer me right now, but I invite you to think about.

The third stroke of bad luck happened to me on Monday.  I was sitting in front of my computer working and then decided to get up.  It felt like my foot was asleep, as it often happens because I sit with my legs crossed most of the time.  As I got up I had the strangest sensation in my left leg.  It felt like it wasn’t there and it wasn’t just my foot that was sleeping it was my whole fucking leg.

Being up and desperately trying to steady myself it felt like I was going to bend my leg the wrong way.  You know so that it looks like a dinosaur's hind legs.  Not only would it be painful if I did do that it would have looked creepy as fuck as well. I had no control over my leg and after struggling to stay upright I then fell to the ground like a chopped down tree twisting my ankle and my foot into a very unnatural position.  As I was going down it felt like everything was happening in slow motion and as the ground came closer and closer I was waiting for the sound of something snapping, tearing or popping.

Lying on the ground and not being able to get up our maid came storming towards me.  She had a horrified look on her face and without saying a word she stated pulling on my toes.  Confused, embarrased and in pain I remember wondering what sort of fucked up first aid was she taught.  I mean honestly I possibly broke my ankle and/or foot and she is pulling on my toes.  What. The. Fuck.

After several minutes on the floor I finally regained sensation in my leg and was able to get up.  But as the sensation came back to my leg so did the pain.  The pain level went from a 4 out of 10 to about a 9! That evening my foot and ankle were throbbing and we had no real pain medication in the house.  So I suffered through the night and I hardly slept a wink.  At one point at around 2:30am I wondered how much worse this would have turned out if I had been 70 and fell down the way I did.  I probably would have broken my hip and the thought of this made me really scared of growing old.  For the first time I knew how it felt to have fallen and not being able to get up.  Old people, I respect you so much more now, I really do.

The next day I got some medication from the pharmacy and an ankle guard and I am walking with a limp.  If my ankle and foot do not get significantly better in next couple of days then I will have to go for x-rays at the hospital.  And you all know how a love hospitals.  Three bad things have happened and let’s hope my bad luck is now over.  I am still expecting a speeding fine in the mail but hopefully it never arrives.  In the mean time I am keeping a super low profile, hiding under my blanket of self-pity and resisting overdosing on chocolate.  I am also making sure that my Feng Shui is all balanced.  I mean 3000 years of Chinese art and science should prevent me from experiencing any further bad luck, wouldn’t it?

Till next time.

No I Don’t Want to Friend Your Cock

I have been on Facebook since 25 June 2007.  That is like forever in the cyber world.  I have been on Facebook longer than what most people’s relationships last; longer than what most people, including myself, stay at the same job.  Through the last five years I had my fair share of dramas on and with Facebook and I have learned that there are people on Facebook who have very serious fucking mental problems.  Reflecting back on my, sometimes tumultuous, history with “The Facebook” I could not help but wonder, are people really as fucked up in real life as they seem to be on the web.

During the last five years I have been banned from Facebook twice.  Yes banned! Twice!  Coincidentally, both times were preceded by some rather disturbing hate mail I received from some very fanatical religious freaks who took great umbrage at my mere existence.  These were the same freaks that, in all probability, reported me to the gods at Facebook who in return instead of investigating the “complaints” rather opted to disable my account.  Both times it took weeks and a torrent of emails for the Facebook gatekeepers to come to their senses and to reinstate my account.  The most recent time they threatened to banish me was because I had too many friends.

You see, Facebook has a 5000 friend limit.  I have reached that limit a couple of times at which times I were instructed by a faceless bot message to clean up my friend list OR ELSE.  Do you know how long it will take me to scrutinize my entire friend list?  It would not take days – it would take weeks!  The last time I was threatened to clean up my friend list was in August last year and it took me a whole week to delete just over 300 people.  My criteria were simple:  If you don’t have a profile picture of yourself, you were unfriended.  If your name is “Gay Love”, “iFuck a Lot” or “BJ King” or anything ridiculous like that you were gone.  And if you have your private parts as your profile picture you were unfriended.  And this leads me to my next point.  Why do some people think you are on Facebook to hookup?

My Facebook profile clearly reads “married” under my relationship status.  Surely the people who inbox me on Facebook can’t be illiterate?  I have gotten countless messages over the years ranging from people who were soliciting sex from me, wanting to know if hubby and I were into gang bangs, asking how big my dick is, what fetishes I am into and the best ones were “ASL” (age sex location).  Now if you need to ask me that on Facebook you are either just fucking retarded or super lazy!  I mean honestly, don’t these people read your profile before sending you profanities and wanting to have carnal knowledge of your body?  If I don’t know you chances are good that I also don’t want to play occupy the anus with you especially if we are not even on the same continent.

And then there are the people on Facebook who firmly believe that their dicks are their best physical attribute.  They are so very proud of their little sausages that they prominently display it as their profile pictures.  Now if you invite me as a friend and all I can see is your erect pointing the wrong way cock that’s barely disguising your unkept bush and hairy balls, chances are good that I will not accept your request.  Chances are even better that I will report your profile to Facebook and the message you will get in your inbox from me will read “No, I don’t want to friend your cock!”  I mean seriously, would you walk around in public with your crown jewels hanging out of your pants?  Doing it on Facebook is pretty much the same thing, don’t you think?

But Facebook don’t just have overly horny folks, they also have the spammers.  You know who I am talking about.  Those people who like to post products on their timelines, obsessively tag you in photos of brands, inbox 50 people at a time with “You can win a iPad 3” and those folks who troll groups and pages and post links to websites ranging from pornography to dating sites.  I believe there is a special place in hell for these fucktarts right next to telemarketers, homophobes, Hitler and Robert Mugabe.  I don’t know why Facebook don’t ban them.  Most of their profiles are fake anyway and this is why I never accept friend request from girls posing in sexy positions that have a lot of friends but never post anything on their timelines except for spam.

The other crowd of the people that occasionally annoy me on Facebook is the folks that clearly need to be in therapy and never mind airing all of their dirty laundry in public.  Sure sometimes it is entertaining reading their status updates in my news feed.  Following their mental meltdowns during the course of eight hours or reading how they are trying to get rid of their one night stands the next morning is quite entertaining.  But have these folks no shame?  Are they not aware that their friends are reading these status updates and are judging them?  Some days while reading my news feed on Facebook I feel so much more normal and mentally stable in comparison to some of my internet friends.  Watching their shit go down in real time feels a little voyeuristic, but hey if they post it who am I not to read it.

Lastly, I have a certain group on Facebook which I have been trying to close down now for well over a year but with little success.  Apparently winning a war in Iraq is easier than closing down a group on Facebook.  I decided to close the group down due to spam, people using it as their personal sex hookup spot, endless “add me” posts and a few other unsavory reasons.  I have closed the wall, banned hundreds of folks and outright threatened people.  Yet, the group continues to grow and currently have well over 22 000 members.  It boggles the mind.  Why would people stay in a group where you can’t do anything?  Moreover, why the hell would anyone want to join the group either?  The group is called “Gay” but should be called “Whores Orgies & Spam” instead.

Yes, Facebook is filled to its cyber brim with some fucked up people.  Perhaps some folks on Facebook think that I am fucked up, the lord knows I too have my moments.  But no matter how fucked up some people are, I keep on going back to some of my more favorite messed up friends’ profiles.  I do this because their problems and the fact that they are so vocal about it make my problems seem less severe and it’s fun to read and sometimes to watch it happen.  After all, only on the web can people truly embrace and express how fucked up they really are, something they dare not do in their real lives.  It’s just a pity that sometimes, when they least expect it, the two worlds collide and often times it does so with less than desirable consequences.

Till next time.

Hacking Facebook

This past weekend I just realized again that the Internet can be a dangerous place.  Yes we access social media from the relative safety of our homes and offices and as such we are lulled into a false sense of security.  However, on the Internet there are many dangers lurking in the dark crevices of your ASDL line, and there are many people out there with malicious motives looking to harm others.  So I thought it appropriate to look at some ways we can protect ourselves on Facebook and measures we can take to ensure that we do not fall victim to people will sinister motives.  Some of the security measures are simple but it can go a long way in protecting yourself from hackers, viruses, phishing and malware.

On Saturday I had the unfortunate experience of being accused of hacking someone’s account.  I was utterly taken aback by the allegations and rightfully offended that I had to learn of the allegations from a third party.  Deleterious allegations were made against me, but I did manage to contact the person who was hacked and I do believe that we came to an amicable understanding and the person realized that it was not me who hacked their account.  But, this being said, this incident just again impressed upon me how careful we all must be while networking on Facebook.

Since I started my blog in 2009 I have fallen victim to several internet attacks by people who had issues with me and my blog.  Since then I had my Facebook account disabled twice, suspended once, hacked once and there has also been several attempts to hack my blog too.  To add insult to injury I have also received too many hate mails to count and I am sure that as I type this malicious reports are being send to Facebook about me.  Unfortunately, this is the price you pay if you blog, especially if you blog about contentious issues and if there are people out there who hate you, your blog and hate the LGBT community.  Some of them will go to any lengths to harm you physically and if they can’t do that, you will be attacked on the net.  It’s all part of being a blogger.

Over the years, having been a target for cyber attacks I have done the best I can to protect myself and my Facebook interests.  This first safety measure may seem like the simplest one but it really is your first line of defense.  Make sure that you have a strong password.  I really cannot emphasize this enough.  “Password” is NOT an appropriate password and neither is your birthday.  The stronger your password the better the chances are that your account will not be hacked.  This also counts for any website you use where a log in password is required.  Changing your password on a regular basis will also serve as additional security for your account.  Also never give out your password to anyone, not even people you trust.  You don’t give out your internet banking password so why should Facebook be any different?

Make use of secure browsing.  It is important to enable this security feature on Facebook to secure your private information.  When you enable this feature your traffic on Facebook becomes encrypted which makes it harder for hackers and spammers to gain access to your information without your permission.  Never click on suspicious links.  It could ruin your day.  Many people’s Facebook account have been hacked by these links such as the “Dislike button”, “Pink Facebook”, “Check out this shocking video” and “Look Who Viewed My Profile” to mention but a few.  The moment you click on these links your profile is compromised and everyone on your friends list can also become victims.  When such a link is posted on your profile delete it immediately and warn your friend whose profile posted it to change their password right away.

Be mindful of what email you use for Facebook.  The email you use for Facebook should be distinct from the one you use where security is more critical – such as online banking and Paypal accounts.  If you use the same email on all these platforms and your Facebook account gets hacked your more secure account could then also be vulnerable and the result could be costly.  Also be careful of phishing scams.  Should you have accidentally clicked on a malicious link or app you normally will get directed to a mirror site that is almost a perfect copy of Facebook’s log in page and you will be asked to log in again.  When you do this your email address and password gets recorded and you just gave a hacker all they needed to hack your account.  This is why it is very important to always check the URL.  Make sure it reads https://www.facebook.com.  Phishing site’s websites’ URL will always be different and may look like www.facckbook.com.  So watch out for this.

If you have a group or fan page on Facebook make sure that you have another admin on your group or page, someone that you trust.  If your account gets hacked, disabled or suspended and you don’t have another admin your group/page will be a ship drifting in the ocean without a captain and it can easily be hijacked.  Having an alternative admin will prevent this.  When your account is suspended by Facebook all the posts you ever made on Facebook will also disappear until your account is restored.  Facebook does this as an emergency measure when accounts are hacked to prevent unauthorized posts being made.  When my account was hacked posts where made on my profile that were horrifically homophobic.  This is how my friends knew to warn me that my account was hacked.  My account then went dark until I reclaimed it again (click HERE to read the four things you should do if your profile is hacked).

These are just a few safety tips that I think we can all benefit from when using Facebook.  There are many more like adjusting your privacy settings and reviewing what apps have access to your account.  But I think the ones I mention in this post are the most important ones that everyone should apply to their accounts today.  My friend’s account that was hacked was a real eye opener for me.  Apart from the fact that I was blamed for it, and I know nothing about hacking, it is unfortunate that it happened.  I don’t know why there are people out there who do things like this or what hackers think they achieve by their actions.  But it is sad and a very scary that we have to go to these extends to protect ourselves from them.  So my kind readers (the ten of you), please go to your Facebook accounts today and make them safe.

Till next time.

Is Social Media Turning Us Into Lazy Voyeurs

Facebook, Pinterest, Linkedin, Google+ and Twitter are just some social networking websites most of us visit every day. The world has indeed become a smaller place as it is getting easier for us to communicate and connect with people from across the globe. The convenience of checking up on what your friends are doing with the click of a button has in some cases replaced a simple phone call. Names have been replaced with handles or avatars and it all have become very impersonal. This led me to ask, has social networking websites driven as further away from each other instead of bringing us closer?There are very few people I know that are not on Facebook. The scary reality is that if you don’t have a Facebook, Linkedin or Google+ account you almost do not exist and if you don’t tweet or know what Twitter is you have probably been living in a cave. Cyberspace no longer is a mere tool to do research, get information, sell or buy products and communicate, it has evolved into an alternative means of socialization. We share information about ourselves with hundreds if not thousands of people every day and in return we get to know more about others. Sometimes we learn things about people we rather could have done without.
Having just over 6000 friends on Facebook my news feed gets flooded with status updates every few minutes. Some status updates are quite interesting and others are just plain bizarre. This one person on Facebook insists on providing blow-by-blow accounts about the status of his erections – like I care! Seriously, is his life that uninteresting or should there be some cause for concern regarding his obsession with his cock? Another person seems to have serious relationship problems as her relationships status fluctuates between beings single, in a relationship, engaged, to it's complicated and back to single again in the course of just one week. Either she’s experiencing some schizoid episodes or urgently needs to evaluate her “relationship” as it does not seem healthy.

Something I find particularly bizarre is the Facebook profiles people create for their pets and children. A family member (whose name I wouldn’t dare mention) have created and maintains profiles for her dog and cat complete with photos, careers and relationship status. Another person I know has done the same for her 9 month old son, and he already has 67 friends. It’s just creepy, but I did accept their friend requests, I do know them after all.  I too have created a Fan Page for my cat "Killer Pussy", so yea I am no better than them either.  At least my cat has more fans than the average person on Facebook have friends.  She has 815, but she doesn't give a rats ass about that (and yes the pun is fully intended).

Even stranger is the fact that on Twitter I am now following a cat. No you didn’t read incorrectly I am really following a critter of the feline persuasion. I get hourly updates from the feline lounging around the house, taking a nap or taking a poo in the litter box. Now, I will admit this is my own craziness for following the daily toils of a fictional cat, but curiosity also got the better of over 1 416 057 other people who are also following "Sockington" the famous tweeting feline. One would think having 5 cats of my own I would have better things to do, but clearly I don’t.  (PS: Killer Pussy is on Twitter too!) 

Social networking sites have also made us lazy and voyeurs. Where are the days when friends returned from an exotic holiday and we would pop by for a visit to check out their holiday photos? These days you can follow their adventures online and in real time. This makes it really convenient for all your stalkers to track where you are and what you are doing. No need to hide in the bushes are purchase expensive plane tickets.  Facebook has brought us Cyber Stalking.  Personally,  I have to admit that I am guilty of this myself.  I do check out certain people's profiles regularly to see what is going on in their lives, and I will admit I do this mainly to feel better about myself.  You can't lie, I know many of you do the same thing, come on admit it.

How many of us really know the people we are friends with online? Very few of us have actually met half of our virtual friends. I am one of the biggest culprits in this area. Out of my 6 742 Facebook friends I shamefully would have to admit that I know maybe 200 of them. From the 200 I probably have only met 50. Yet, on a daily basis I have an unadulterated bird’s eye view of their turmoil’s and joys of all of them and they have the same of mine - quite frightening if you sit back and think about it. Effectively we are sharing vast amounts of personal information about ourselves with perfect strangers and yes even with “cats”.

To a certain degree technology has made it easier for us to communicate. Whether you use Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, MSN, Skype, Google+ or any of the other platforms to stay in touch, the one thing you should really be asking yourself is whether these mediums are a better substitute for personal contact? Social networking websites have changed the way we connect with people but even though you can reach a friend or family member that’s on a different continent with the click of a mouse there still is a barrier between you, and the Internet will never be able to replace face-to-face personal contact or the warmth of a hug.

Till next time.

Facebook thinks I’m a Pornographer!

Oops I did it again.  This week Facebook blocked me for 24 hours. This is their version of sending you to the corner for being a very naughty boy.  Apparently, some fucktard reported a certain photo which I uploaded to my fan page resulting in the gods at Facebook thinking that I am a “pornographer”.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my porn just as much as the next fag, but there’s a time and a place for porn and Facebook is not the place for it.  Besides who goes onto Facebook armed with lube and tissues ready to molest themselves?  Not me, that’s why we have Tumblr.  But I digress…

As you know I have made some enemies through the couple of years that I have been blogging (3 years to be exact).  Having enemies and people who hate you isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  I take it as a sign that I am doing something right and sometimes their hate mails are seriously funny, especially the ones that like quoting Leviticus.  But every so often one of those people does something that seriously inconveniences me.  Sometimes they report me to Facebook and on occasion I am punished for it like the dirty bad boy that I am.  In the last 3 years I have been banned from Facebook twice, have been blocked 7 times and even received an email from Facebook accusing me of Hate Speech.

Now we all know there are some seriously fucked up people on Facebook and I have blogged about this before.  Those folks who are offended by the world, lives in a bubble of ignorance and waves around their intolerance as if it is an Olympic event.  It really is a pity that their profiles don’t come with a mandatory idiot warning and that there isn’t a Facebook app that can block them outright.  But the world needs idiots and whether we like it or not – they are here to stay.  Besides if there weren’t any idiots who would we laugh at?

With my latest incident on Facebook I have come to the conclusion that maybe some folks need to download themselves a sense of humor.  Because whoever got offended by a naked man’s butt cheeks and is incapable of thinking that the “offensive” picture is funny needs to go on some strong medication.  Have these people not seen some of the really nasty shit other people upload to Facebook?

I have blocked and banned so many people from my one Facebook group because of the stuff they post there.  I have had to report and delete hundreds of pictures of cocks, cum, fisting, water sports, vaginas, and stuff people like to shove up their assholes.  I didn’t see those people get blocked or banned from Facebook.  Could it be that Facebook have a problem with pictures that are not hardcore enough?  If the man had a dildo hanging from his rectum would that have been ok?  One can only wonder.

The previous time Facebook gave me a timeout was because of a picture I uploaded of nuns painting a naked man.  Again the only thing you could see was his very nice and tight ass.  That too “offended” someone so much that they just could help themselves but to report it.  I wonder whether that person did it before or after they masturbated.  It seems that Facebook has double standards and that some on Facebook, especially heterosexuals Christians, are more equal than others.  Since I created my Fan page I have encountered numerous problems due to people reporting my page.  The culprits were mostly the fanatical religious far right.  The same people who also have fan pages devoted to their anti-gay rhetoric and dire tripe.  The same people who propose that all homosexuals should be killed and that we are abominations.  Yet these people are allowed to preach their hate on Facebook and that seems to be ok.

The world seems to be filled with double standards especially when it comes to gay people, so why should Facebook be any different?  With over 8000 likes on my fan page and with over 700 people having shared the picture that got me blocked for 24 hours, I couldn’t help but wonder whether we are being picked on.  It’s not my fault the photo went viral.  It’s not my fault it was fucking funny.  Did the person at Facebook who ultimately decided to block me not use his/her discretion and realize this was a malicious report?  Could that person not see the humor in it or was the decision to block me based on my fan page’s name and the fact that it is dedicated to LGBT news and issues.  Was that person homophobic?  Who knows…

One thing is for sure – I will not lose sleep over this.  This queer has more important things to worry about other than scared little homophobes trolling Facebook trying to take out one homosexual at a time by maliciously reporting them.  If that is the only thing that gives them pleasure in their sad little lives then who am I to take it away from them.  I will much rather focus my attention on what is really important: Recruiting homosexuals to ensure that Queer HQ is prepared and well resourced for our end game – Taking Over The World!  Suck on that Homophobes!

So Facebook thinks I am a pornographer, who the fuck cares.  I don’t know what type of porn they are watching or downloading but something gives me the idea that they are doing it wrong.  At least my 24 hour ban is over and all is back to normal.  As for the person who reported me, I have three words for you: Go. Fuck. Yourself.  Just try not to do it in front of a mirror; we don’t want you to offend yourself now do we.

Till next time.

The Psycho Who Friended Me

We live in a sick world.  Sure this is not breaking news, but sometimes I have a tendency to want to forget that this is true.  Last week I read an article about a certain washed up gay porn star called Luca Rocco Magnotta.  This sick puppy allegedly killed his boyfriend, videotaped the murder, then proceeded to cut the corpse into pieces and then mailed a hand and a foot to certain politicians in Canada.  You may think this is the worst of it but you’d be wrong.  The worst part of it is that, unbeknown to me, I actually was Facebook friends with this psycho, at least until I unfriended and block him.

Luca Rocco Magnotta also goes under the aliases of Vladimir Romanov or Mattia Del Santo, but his real name is Eric Clinton.  It is believed that he killed his boyfriend, Jun Lin, while videotaping it and then uploaded the video to a certain snuff and gore website.  The video shows a man with an ice pick stabbing another naked, bound man.  He dismembers the corpse and then performs sexual acts with it which can only be described as horrifying.

If you have never been exposed to dead bodies or images thereof I strongly recommend that you do not search for this video or its images online.  It is horrendous and you cannot unsee what you have seen.  There were earlier signs that Luca was not mentally well.  For nearly two years animal activists have been looking for a man who tortured and killed cats and then posted videos of this cruelty on YouTube.  It wasn’t until Lin’s murder that Montreal police released a photo from one such video that clearly shows that it is Luca in these appalling videos.

Luca would take kittens and place them in a clear plastic bag and have them suffocate while he filmed them.  He has drowned cats and kittens in videos and even fed a live kitten to a snake.  Clearly, he is one demented individual who is cruel and have no respect for life.  Lucas was a ticking time bomb whose natural progression would be from animals to humans and Lin tragically became his first human victim.  So how did I learn that I was Facebook friends with such a sick and dangerous person?

Well, after reading the news reports of this ghastly murder I decided to search for Luca on Facebook.  And lo and behold I found his profile and saw that we were friends.  I was flabbergasted!  I don’t ever recall accepting a friend request from him nor seeing any of his status updates.  Was this really him?  I wondered.  So I started reading his timeline and to my further horror discovered it was indeed him.  Even more interesting I saw that, even though he was the subject of a massive man hunt by Interpol, he updated his current location to Paris on Sunday at 18:39.

Not only is he a murderer he is stupid too.  You know the world is looking for you but you go into an internet Café and then tell the world where you are.  Maybe he wanted to get caught.  I was tempted not to unfriend him as my professional curiosity urged me to wait and see what he was going to do next.  But in the end I was overwhelmed with my utter disgust for this man and mortified that I was in any way connected to him.  So I decided to unfriend and block him just in case he felt like fleeing to South Africa and decided to look me and hubby up.  I will not look good dead and dismembered and I really never want to be featured on that disgusting snuff video website.

So in the absence of having sight of his status updates I followed the news closely.  On Monday afternoon Luca was finally apprehended in Berlin.  Naturally he was arrested at an internet Café reading news articles about himself.  An employee of the Café recognized Luca and luckily the police were close by and Luca was arrested without any resistance.  He will in all probability be extradited back to Canada where he will be charged with several offenses one of which will be first degree murder.

It is a pity Canada don’t carry out death penalties anymore.  Luca seem to be a good candidate for execution when he is found guilty.  Unless he can prove that he has a psychiatric disorder I don’t believe that he would be likely to be rehabilitated.  After all he did write on his wall “Once you have tasted human blood there is no going back”.  And I believe him.  He will kill again if he is allowed to remain as a member of society.

Whether I have any other homicidal friends on Facebook, I do not know.  It is just shocking when you read about a horrific crime and then later learn that you have the wanted murderer in your friendlist.  It just once again goes to show how small the world has become due to social media.  Now, not only can you reconnect with old school friends, you can be friends with Interpol's most wanted too.

Till next time.

Facebook, Twitter & Skype

I just love vintage advertisement.  Usually they are a great source of amusement to me.  So imagine my delight when I stumbled across these three ads on Pinterest this morning.  They were too good to keep to myself. (Click on the image to enlarge)

Farmville is Evil

A repost especially for a friend who just today decided to quite Farmville.

There are few things in live that irritate me more than application requests on Facebook. But a few weeks ago, whilst in recovery from my cosmetic “procedure”, I made a fatal blunder – I allowed the combination of utter boredom and curiosity to have the better of me and I accepted one. And so I was drawn into the murky and addictive cyber world of an evil place called Farmville. Now seven weeks later I find myself trapped by cyber psychological blackmail and guilt leaving me with one question - is Farmville evil?

Farmville is an application on Facebook where you can start your own cyber farm. The animals are cute, the buildings are quaint and the possibilities are endless. You can plant and harvest crops, make cyber money, expand your farm, build buildings and accumulate allot of stuff you don’t really need. The first few weeks, having had oodles of time on my hands, farming on my computer was entertaining. My farm quickly grew into one big flourishing oasis of animals, ponds, plantations and orchards. I flew my way up the levels and all seemed well in Farmville land. However the fun would not last, as with all good things this too would come to an end.

You see Farmville is time consuming. You are forced to go back and play every day, sometimes more than once a day and if you don’t, shit will die! For a while I got tired of the whole thing and stopped playing. As days passed my neighbours noticed disapprovingly how crops died and animals ran away. It wasn’t long before a few neighbours started sending messages telling me not to “neglect” my farm. Apparently this makes me look like a bad person and cyber animal hater (Hmm... I wonder how PETA feels about Farmville).

After a while if you don’t actually farm (i.e. plant and harvest crap) the Farmville community will shame you into submission and you will become a slave to a game that should have been fun but no longer is. And this is what happened to me. What was a game started to feel like a job, a job that many people take far too very seriously! But I was losing interest and wanted out.

Being the kind of person who likes to finish what I start and considering myself to be dedicated to all my ventures I found myself in a conundrum. Am I going to abandon my farm and suffer the wrath of the community or am I going to continue on with it? So for a couple of weeks, against my better judgement, I decided to press on. I figured out a way to time my harvests, developed a set routine and soon found that I was scheduling my life around a farm that doesn’t really exist.

My farm grew and flourished at the expense of my free time and my life in the real world. It soon became unhealthy, inconvenient and just a plain ridiculous pain in the ass and not the good kind! It apparently can get so bad that there are even people (CEO’s in fact) who gives their spouses, family members and/or friends their Facebook profile passwords to ensure that their farms are tended to while they are in meetings, on business trips and/or on holiday. It’s an illness I tell you and I didn’t want to end up being one of those people.

So last week I decided that I had enough I wanted to quit. My little fagilicious avatar will be deleted as will my farm. However, there was just one teeny tinny problem with that decision - you can’t freaking delete your farm! You can block the applications but your farm, it’s animals, trees, buildings and your cyber farmer himself will still be there waiting for you.  Haunting you!

Eventually your guilt and pressure from the Farmville community will force you to go back and unblock the application. Not liking loose strings in my live this became a source of consternation. I wanted my farm gone and obliterated into the oblivion of the Internet Matrix, but the evil developers of Farmville would not allow this to happen, so I was compelled to write them a letter.

Politely and diplomatically I told them that even though I enjoyed my time on Farmville it was time for me to bid them adieu. I also didn’t want to travel to my 2nd farm in the “English Countryside” as one farm was more than enough for me to handle and it was ruining my social life, spare time and most importantly it’s fucking with my blogging!

I wanted my farm to be deleted, auctioned off and/or destroyed! In the absence of the option of deletion I requested them to create a devastating natural disaster to annihilate my farm and everything on it. I ended my relatively desperate sounding e-mail with “I’m tired, my real garden and pets are neglected and I already have two jobs and farming just isn’t my thing”. To date the demons/developers at Farmville HQ are yet to respond to my request and my two damn farms (they have forced me to have a Farm in “England” now too!) are still standing and are barely flourishing.

Farmville is evil! If you haven’t played it don’t try it. The game will get you hooked like crack and make your work like a cheap red light district transvestite whore for Farmville cash. It will feed on your time, your bandwidth, make you get up at 5 o’clock in the morning and have you rush back home in a panic about missing a harvesting deadline. I am now stuck with two farms which I am incapable of deleting and have no interest of farming. Two farms with adorable little animals, buildings and decorations that I feel too sorry for to delete individually. It’s not normal for a virtual world to exert so much influence over a person’s life, maybe I shouldn’t check out Mafia Wars then! Be warned Farmville will engulf you given half a chance.

Till next time.

Facebook Manners & You

Did you not know there were rules for Facebook etiquette?  Well there are.  Here are the 10 rules of Facebook Etiquette.  Remember having good Facebook manners and the “Electric Friendship Generator” will be more fun for everyone.

Weapons of Mass Destruction

Social media have proved to be the most powerful medium of our generation to communicate, share, educate and connect.  Recently we saw revolutions, riots and protest organized, mobilized and carried out via social media.  With this in mind I'd like to ask all of you who have a social media presence, what are YOU using it for?

Google+ wants to be my Pimp

Ok, so recently being the Social Media Whore that I am, I finally decided to accept my Google+ invitation. Apparently I was flagged by Google as a superuser or in layman’s terms – the type of social media whore that “will love you long time!” The first invitation reached me just over a month ago and like a typical skittish intraweb socialite I required some more wooing. And wooed me they did. After being somewhat harassed I finally decided to check it out. And now I find myself in a social media ménage à trios, which led me to ask will Facebook, Twitter and Google+ make for good bedfellows.

I have been in my fair share of ménage à trios’s in my life, believe it or not. Some good and other’s not so much. So when the prospect of being intertwined in a social media three-way came up (so to speak) I found it quite daunting. I have spent allot of time and effort building my relationship with Facebook and I have spent the last two years trying to figure out my short -worded Twitter bird and its fail whale. So involving a third party in our cosy and comfortable little social setup was not something I took lightly. I wasn’t sure if Google+ would be a good fit and how this would affect my relationship with Facebook or Twitter.

Naturally, when I decided to check out Google+, I did so without the knowledge of Facebook and Twitter. My first rendezvous with Google+ was to be a secret one. I made sure the other two were closed in my web browser and I decided to use Google Chrome instead of Explorer to access my new potential social media lover. Feeling guilty and excited at the same time, I logged on and discovered a new social media world filled with potential. Circles, hangouts, sparks and being able to +1 websites and things I liked. Google+ was younger, prettier and its video chat application much faster and more robust than that of Facebook. Clicking and poking my way around I got the sense of being on the verge of a social media revolution and then like a lightning bolt it hit me -this could be my second chance, a chance to start over in social media!

You see, maintaining another social media presence is not something I would have been likely to consider. Maintaining my Facebook and Twitter accounts takes up enough time as it is. But with Google+ there seems to be an opportunity: An opportunity of having more control over my online presence; an opportunity of having more control over my privacy settings and more control over my social connections. Effectively, if you have been overwhelmed by your current social media accounts, have been smothered with social connection over which you have lost all control, and want to have a new beginning Google+ provides this for you. Whilst in the grips of this mental orgasm I could not help but think, is this social media whore wanting to turn all “I’m only going to be friends with people I know in real life”. Well the answer is NO.

Deep down I am an incredibly loyal person. I have spent far too much time building my Facebook fan base, cultivating followers on twitter and all this at no financial benefit to myself. So effectively this makes me more of a social media slut than a whore. I am cheap and easy and love traffic! After I have had my shag in the virtual hay with Google+, I spent a good few minutes starring at my Facebook login page. Feeling a little bit dirty and ashamed I did not want to enter. What if Facebook knew? What if my Facebook friends saw me? So I did the only thing I could think off. I status updated my indiscretion.

Will I be cheating on my Facebook friends with Google+? That is was how I choose to confess. It was a good ten minutes before anyone responded. I was nervous. Then the first whimper of a reaction, first one person liked the update, and then two more. I was confused. Was it OK? Didn’t they mind? Then the answer came - a flurry of requests by my friends to invite them to Google+. It seemed there were many folks out there wanting to try something new. Maybe they were just curious or maybe there are some people genuinely wanting to start afresh. Once you hit your Facebook friend limit of 5000 and start missing important status updates from your close friends, this tends to happen. If you have spent a whole Saturday going through your friend list deleting people you don’t know, never interact with and by the time you get to the P’s in your social alphabet it’s 8pm already you will understand.

Before any of my Facebook friends freak out – NO I WILL NOT BE LEAVING FACEBOOK! However, I have joined Google+ and I am going to give it a try. It’s like opening a brand spanking new book with all its pages blank, ready for me to write a new chapter. This social media slut’s ménage à trios is going to be my own little experiment. Which one of the three will prevail, who knows but I plan on having fun finding out.

Till next time.

Social Media Whore!

During my usual early morning online newspaper perusal I came across an article on CNN that stopped me cold in my tracks. The article was titled “Facebook lets users opt out of facial recognition”. Apparently Facebook is rolling out a facial recognition feature and all of us have already been included in their database. You have a choice to opt out of it, and I am so going to, but opting out will not remove you from their system. If this is shocking to you, it does not even come close to what Google almost did! Although I am a total Social Media Whore, even I have a problem with it! This may sound like something the CIA, MI6 or Mossad may have concocted to track down terrorist, but it is not. However, the principle remains the same. Reflecting on this I could not help but wonder where we are heading and how much privacy we will have once we get there.

As most of you know I am a social media whore: I’m easy, I’m cheap, I give pleasure and I welcome traffic and lots of it! I am all for shameless social media self promotion and if spamming wasn’t a bad thing I would have been the Queen of that too. But with social media making the world more accessible, helping dreary old people like myself become Internet Superstars (well not really), there are also some draw backs. You sacrifice your “anonymity” and just as you like snooping or spying on other people’s profiles to see what they are up too, sleeping with, fighting with or breaking up with, you can be rest assured that the snooping and spying are reciprocated. And now Facebook plans on over exposing us and exploiting our privacy even further.

Facebook’s new facial recognition feature will scan all images posted to Facebook (an estimated 100 million per day) and suggest the names of people appearing in the frame. Even if you opt out of this clear violation of your privacy, the tool will still scan your face and identify you but just won’t display your name. So, if you plan on falling down drunk at a party, posing with that stripper or playing tonsil hockey with a person other than your husband beware. If you’re snapped in a compromising situation you will be identified and tagged for the whole world to see. Personally, I do not allow any likeness of myself to be placed anywhere on the Internet without it being extensively photo shopped. Firstly, because I look so much prettier airbrushed and secondly, I am hardly ever recognized on the street because of my extreme photo editorial tyranny. So naturally this new feature horrifies me but not as much as what Google almost did.

Google almost went one step further with an application they planned on releasing but thankfully didn’t. Recently Google decided not to release an application that would let someone snap a picture of a total stranger’s face, using a Smartphone, in order to find out who that person is. Now why the fuck would you want to do that? And why the hell would I allow a total stranger to snap a picture of me anyway? This clearly wasn’t thought through thoroughly. Imagine walking down the street minding your own business. Then unexpectedly someone, who has been secretly stalking you for months, jumps out of the bushes and snaps a picture of you on his BlackBerry. Confused and before your eyes can readjust from the phone’s flash, the guy is gone and now knows who you are and possibly also will have access to your other personal details. Apart from being wrong, it is fucking scary! But whether we like it or not, if you’re a Social Media Whore like me things will only get worse.

It’s weird to think that just a mere six years ago I didn’t even know what Facebook was. And when I logged on for the first time I thought it was pretty stupid. The same goes for Twitter. Jump to the present day and now I have almost 5000 friends on my Facebook Profile, just over 6000 fans on my Blog Fan Page, just over 2000 tweeters following @gaywars on Twitter and just over 300 followers on Blogspot. In a mere six years I have gone from John Doe to super Social Media Whore with “Unique Hits”, “Follow”, “Like” and “Share” as my drugs and STD’s of choice. With every update, tweet and blog post I allow my entire international plethora of "Johns" into my life, my private thoughts, my joys, my sorrows and my rants. And I do so voluntarily. Then is it not bigotry of me to have a freak out about a photo application than can tag me in unedited photos of myself?

Well no! The difference is that now I can choose what I share with my readers, followers and friends. The pimps want to change the rules for this Social Media Hooker and I am saying NO! No, no, no! We are heading down a very perilous slippery slope and if we are not careful we will end up having no privacy, no control and this I promise you on my dead MySpace’s profiles grave - it will not end well for us! I am a proud Social Media Whore but even I know where to draw the line. Nice as Facebook, Twitter, Google and Blogger maybe there should be boundaries and we should have a say as to where these boundaries are set. Google before you Tweet may be the new Think before you Speak, but never forget that whatever you write inevitably will be read and, at this rate, soon privacy on the Net will be dead!

Till next time.

Techno Addiction, Do You Have It?

Finally I am the proud owner of a brand spanking new BlackBerry. Once more technology has found a new way to infiltrate my human existence and suck me further into the scripts, codes, numbers and programs of the virtual oblivion that is technology. Technology is advancing at lightning speed and new tools are being developed everyday all to help make our lives easier. Technology are also becoming more and more integrated into our lives and instead of making life simpler, in many respects, it’s making it more complicated. This led me to wonder, are we becoming unwittingly addicted to technology and its by-products?

We live in the information age where with the touch a button we can share our inner most thoughts with thousands of people, check up on what our friends and family are doing, keep abreast on current events or even learn how to make an atomic bomb, if you’re into that kind of thing. Now we can do all of this anywhere, anytime and as often as we like. Technology has made the world smaller, people smarter and information more accessible. But technology also has a flip side – as much as it has landed the world at our finger tips it has also made us more accessible to the world. And frankly, I am finding this exhausting and my BlackBerry is making matters worse!

You see there was a time when I had to be in front of my laptop or my PC to share my mind meanderings with the world, learn about the state of the gay planet and fan my flames of fagotry, but not anymore. Now the world lives inside my BlackBerry! The world follows me around, knows where I am, knows what I am doing and knows what I am thinking. The world is staking me and is insistent on updating me twenty four hours of the day, seven days a week and 365 days of the year. Whether I am in the bathroom making a number two, having sexy time with my husband or naked sun bathing my e-mails will reach me, strangers will poke me and CNN will Tweet me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that I will never miss a single thing. My trusty BlackBerry is sure to update me when Lindsay Lohan has her inevitable relapse, when my friends shocks the world by changing their Facebook relationships status from married to single and when Twitter wants me to know that Vigharthur from Iceland mentioned me in one of his titanic rants. Sure I can turn off these updates if they irritate me, sure I can switch my phone to bedside mode, sure I can cancel my Facebook and Twitter feeds, but I don’t because BlackBerry is evil!

When I do switch off my updates something terrible happens – I end up missing them! The absence of the chimes followed by the red flickering light indicating I have an update leaves me feeling desolate. It feels like the world has forgotten me. I know this must sound pretty pathetic, and it probably is, but the allure to be connected is a wicket curse perpetuated by my natural curiosity, and this frailty of mine is fully exploited by my obnoxious mini portal to the universe that is my phone. So, is this a curse, will my little minicomputer communicator consume my soul, destroy my actual social skills and render me void of free will?

There are many BlackBerry owners, some I know personally, whose social skills have suffered since they acquired their handheld windows to the world. They are unable to make eye contact during conversations as their eyes are firmly fixed on their phone’s screens, they are incapable of completing full sentences as they are constantly distracted, and if the date and time of an appointment is not loaded on their calendars or IM’d, Blue Toothed, SMS’d, MMS’d or E-mailed the appointment simply doesn’t exist. Some people’s entire life is loaded to their phones and the day a fatal system error occurs and the phone and SIM memory fails the world comes crumbling down, along with a complete and total shutdown of that person’s central nervous system upon the realization that their phone was last backed up more than a week ago.

And then there is BlackBerry Messenger, another “social” network devoted entirely to the BlackBerry elite, the people that shirked off IPhone. As if Facebook, MySpace and Twitter aren’t enough now there’s another network to divide your attention and some people spent every free moment chatting, or rather typing on it. It’s only a matter of time before they actually incorporate OMG, LMAO, LOL and WTF into an actual face-to-face conversation. Luckily I am not quite that far gone yet, but I fear I might be closer to the point of no return than I thought.

I’m teetering on the precipice of the matrix of avatars, profiles, screen names and Internet handles. My BlackBerry is gently coaxing me down a high-speed broadband path to complete and total connectivity, a virtual world that never sleeps, a world that’s constantly busy changing and a virtual world that doesn’t shut the fuck up! No one person is meant to be this up to speed with everything and nothing all at the same time. Information overload will one day kill us all unless we can stand up and say “Hi my name is Pierre and I refuse to be a techno addict!”

With all said and done, I still love my BlackBerry but I am aware of its potential dangers. After all it comes with a manufacturing warning that reads “If you’re BlackBerry causes you any physical discomfort, please refrain from using it for a couple of hours”. Technology is changing the way we live, communicate, make friends, connect and work. It is making our lives easier, but we can easily over complicate our own lives with our useful, over used and shiny gadgets and once you cross that virtual line you will become a techno addict – an addict whose drug of choice is mostly useless information and whose quick fix is an e-mail. The Betty Ford Clinic currently has no rehabilitation programs for this kind of addiction, so user beware! Don’t become a techno addict and please make an effort to, every so often, speak face-to-face with an actual human being and not just with the ones that lives inside your BlackBerry.

Till next time.

Cher Talks About "Burlesque"