Fake Lesbians that Ruins It for the Rest of Us.

Recent revelations that certain lesbian bloggers weren’t actually lesbians or actually women shocked the gay blogosphere. The shock came after a particular “lesbian” blogger were allegedly kidnapped and it came to light that the “Syrian Lesbian Blogger” was in fact a 40 year old heterosexual dude from America. What the fuck?! It seems he merrily blogged away and nobody questioned the legitimacy of the 25 year old girl’s so called lesbianism and nobody picked up “she” was actually a much older “he”. Well, in the blog readers’ defence it is quite tricky to tell whether the author of a blog has a penis or a vagina by just reading it and faking being gay is evidently quite easy. Now, as I scrutinise the blogs I read more carefully I cannot help but wonder how many other Fake Gay Bloggers are out there.

First of all, I just want to let all my readers know that I am indeed a guy, I am indeed a flaming faggot and if you don’t believe me I have the pictures to prove it. I also don’t have another blog where I pretend to be a straight woman and write about my Sex and the City sex escapades, my vagina logs or my menstrual cycle. Honestly, I don’t know enough of the female anatomy to even try and my lack of knowledge on this subject matter is in direct correlation with my lack of interest in it. Not that I don’t love women, I really do I just don’t want to have sex with women or imagine women naked. Had I pretended to be a straight male blogger I would eventually again run into the vagina problem and writing a blog as a feline would possibly be a much more palatable option and of better substance. But why would anyone want to write a fake blog anyway...

Many times, while writing my blog, I questioned myself whether I should have blogged anonymously and write under a pseudonym. If you use a pseudonym you do not have to be careful and edit what you want to say about your work, friends and/or family. You are free to trash whoever and whatever you want and nobody will know it is you. I read quite a few anonymous blogs and I thoroughly enjoy them mainly due to their unbridled candour. But there is a huge difference between anonymous blogging and fake blogging. At least with anonymous blogging the author still writes about real life references, experiences and people. Fake bloggers create fiction, fabrications and misrepresentations. Simply put they lie to their readers which raises an interesting question – is fake blogging ethical?

Pretending to be gay when you are not and blogging about your fake life, in my opinion, is morally and wrong. Not only is it fiction, it is insulting to the GLBT community and offensive to the readers once the truth is revealed. As a gay blogger I share my real live experiences, my coming out story, my accounts of being bullied, being discriminated against and my run-ins with homophobia. It’s my narrative, it’s my truth, it’s my real life. I share how I overcame adversity, prevailed in the confines of intolerance and embraced acceptance. Some of my readers get comfort from what I share, gain hope for their own futures and are encouraged to find their own paths and be proud of who and what they are. This can’t and should not be achieved based on lies. Bloggers have a responsibility to their readers and far too many authors of blogs don’t take this responsibility seriously.

My blog is not all gay doom and gloom, sex, gay pride parades, glitter balls and disco sticks. Because that is not what being gay in my life is all about. True, I can be construed to be your stereotypical flaming queen or limp wristed queer who loves fanning the flames of my own faggotry. But being gay, in my context, is also about my marriage, my family, work and recently our journey to become parents. My blog represents a portion of the gay community and depicts my journey on this planet, something a fake blog cannot do. My readers share in my battles, laugh with me, cry with me and some of my GLBT brothers and sisters who are yet to come out of the closet can see that being gay does not mean that you cannot have a normal life and have a healthy relationship. These readers are also shown that they do not have to live in the shadow of society hiding from their truth. Every blogger out there have a responsibility to their readers to be honest and add value rather than deceive and depreciate the essence of blogging and your readers’ experience thereof. There’s nothing more disgusting and disturbing than learning that you have been deceived and that the blog you have been reading is based on lies. It’s like cracking a rotten egg into your cake mixture ruining the whole thing. And it stinks!

The fake lesbian bloggers are the rotten eggs of the blogosphere that’s ruining it for the rest of us. Sure it may have seemed fun and a good idea at the time for them to blog as lesbians, but I am sure it’s not as much fun now that they have been thrown out of their virtual heterosexual closets. I’m pretty sure the wives of A Gay Girl in Damascus and Lez Get Real weren’t too pleased either when they learned of their husband’s blogosphere escapades. The only thing these two bloggers achieved was to deceive and outrage. I guess these two fake lesbians learned the lessons I learned years ago the hard way – do not fuck with real lesbians and do not pretend to be something you are not!

Till next time.

Homophobia!. What impact it could have!

A video by the Albert Kennedy Trust (AKT) is raising awareness of the devastating impact homophobia can have.

Please Share on Facebook and Twitter!

The Queeriodic Table

Are you a Fagzilla, Flammer, Yestergay, Hasbian, Woofy, Frig, or a Kiki?

Do you even know what those words mean? No?

Then it’s time for you to learn the essential LGBT elements on

 The Queeridioic Table! 

The Queeriadic Table started off as an art piece for a local fundraiser, but if its co-creators have their way, the Queeriodic Table is going places.

Inspired by a blog post of a periodic table made entirely of cupcakes, artists Jen Crothers and Kona thought a queer version would be an ideal way to raise money for Out in Schools’ annual fundraiser, High School Confidential. Their art piece also aims to create raise awareness of queer language and its evolution.

Is it nerdy?  Yes

Is it fun? Yes

Is it fabulous?  Most definately?

Social Media Whore!

During my usual early morning online newspaper perusal I came across an article on CNN that stopped me cold in my tracks. The article was titled “Facebook lets users opt out of facial recognition”. Apparently Facebook is rolling out a facial recognition feature and all of us have already been included in their database. You have a choice to opt out of it, and I am so going to, but opting out will not remove you from their system. If this is shocking to you, it does not even come close to what Google almost did! Although I am a total Social Media Whore, even I have a problem with it! This may sound like something the CIA, MI6 or Mossad may have concocted to track down terrorist, but it is not. However, the principle remains the same. Reflecting on this I could not help but wonder where we are heading and how much privacy we will have once we get there.

As most of you know I am a social media whore: I’m easy, I’m cheap, I give pleasure and I welcome traffic and lots of it! I am all for shameless social media self promotion and if spamming wasn’t a bad thing I would have been the Queen of that too. But with social media making the world more accessible, helping dreary old people like myself become Internet Superstars (well not really), there are also some draw backs. You sacrifice your “anonymity” and just as you like snooping or spying on other people’s profiles to see what they are up too, sleeping with, fighting with or breaking up with, you can be rest assured that the snooping and spying are reciprocated. And now Facebook plans on over exposing us and exploiting our privacy even further.

Facebook’s new facial recognition feature will scan all images posted to Facebook (an estimated 100 million per day) and suggest the names of people appearing in the frame. Even if you opt out of this clear violation of your privacy, the tool will still scan your face and identify you but just won’t display your name. So, if you plan on falling down drunk at a party, posing with that stripper or playing tonsil hockey with a person other than your husband beware. If you’re snapped in a compromising situation you will be identified and tagged for the whole world to see. Personally, I do not allow any likeness of myself to be placed anywhere on the Internet without it being extensively photo shopped. Firstly, because I look so much prettier airbrushed and secondly, I am hardly ever recognized on the street because of my extreme photo editorial tyranny. So naturally this new feature horrifies me but not as much as what Google almost did.

Google almost went one step further with an application they planned on releasing but thankfully didn’t. Recently Google decided not to release an application that would let someone snap a picture of a total stranger’s face, using a Smartphone, in order to find out who that person is. Now why the fuck would you want to do that? And why the hell would I allow a total stranger to snap a picture of me anyway? This clearly wasn’t thought through thoroughly. Imagine walking down the street minding your own business. Then unexpectedly someone, who has been secretly stalking you for months, jumps out of the bushes and snaps a picture of you on his BlackBerry. Confused and before your eyes can readjust from the phone’s flash, the guy is gone and now knows who you are and possibly also will have access to your other personal details. Apart from being wrong, it is fucking scary! But whether we like it or not, if you’re a Social Media Whore like me things will only get worse.

It’s weird to think that just a mere six years ago I didn’t even know what Facebook was. And when I logged on for the first time I thought it was pretty stupid. The same goes for Twitter. Jump to the present day and now I have almost 5000 friends on my Facebook Profile, just over 6000 fans on my Blog Fan Page, just over 2000 tweeters following @gaywars on Twitter and just over 300 followers on Blogspot. In a mere six years I have gone from John Doe to super Social Media Whore with “Unique Hits”, “Follow”, “Like” and “Share” as my drugs and STD’s of choice. With every update, tweet and blog post I allow my entire international plethora of "Johns" into my life, my private thoughts, my joys, my sorrows and my rants. And I do so voluntarily. Then is it not bigotry of me to have a freak out about a photo application than can tag me in unedited photos of myself?

Well no! The difference is that now I can choose what I share with my readers, followers and friends. The pimps want to change the rules for this Social Media Hooker and I am saying NO! No, no, no! We are heading down a very perilous slippery slope and if we are not careful we will end up having no privacy, no control and this I promise you on my dead MySpace’s profiles grave - it will not end well for us! I am a proud Social Media Whore but even I know where to draw the line. Nice as Facebook, Twitter, Google and Blogger maybe there should be boundaries and we should have a say as to where these boundaries are set. Google before you Tweet may be the new Think before you Speak, but never forget that whatever you write inevitably will be read and, at this rate, soon privacy on the Net will be dead!

Till next time.

Lube Up Homophobe We’re Cumming for You!

American Family Association big shot Bryan Fischer recently labelled gay people as Nazi’s on a radio program in the USA. During his two day rant he spewed his Christian based hate by insisting powerful gay people were out to silence anyone who disagreed with us. He compared our gay rights movement to Hitler’s Nazis and ironically the Roman Catholic Church’s Spanish Inquisition. Well, after seeing Bryan’s very heated tirade, I had a bit of a chuckle as nobody will take a crazy man seriously and surely nobody will believe him either (which is a good thing). After consulting with Queer Head Quarters, which coincidentally is based in Paris this year, it was agreed that I can clarify a few matters that were raised by Bryan Fischer. So here goes, the facts of the gay rights movement especially for you Bryan.

Bryan, you compared the homosexual agenda to Islam stating “there is no room for dissent, there is no room to leave, once you’re in, you can’t leave”. Well, this is 100% correct. We are born gay and once you have your qayness approved by Queer HQ, issued with your membership card, successfully completed the ritual coming out and have been bestowed your commemorative dildo there really is no going back. I don’t know exactly how our procedures compare with that of Islam, but I am sure ours are more colourful and far more delightful. There are a few homosexuals who have fallen victim to the “pray gay away” freaks, but that is usually easily rectifiable with something we call common sense and gay sex. And if all else fails we have also found that electroshock therapy works just as well especially when applied to testicles! Bryan you should really try either gay sex or electrifying your balls sometime, I promise you will enjoy it! We will even through in an honorary strap-on dildo for you (I am guessing you might be partial to a black one).

You also claimed that we are Nazi’s when it comes to freedom of speech and freedom of religion. Well, this is quite a thorny issue for us. You see, we are all for freedom of speech. People can say anything they like about us as long as their facts are correct which we will dictate to them. Admittedly, we do frown upon being spoken off in a disparaged manner and we don’t like being criticized by idiotic religious freaks like yourself. And we will have a go at anyone who does. But we do it in a far more flamboyant manner and with taste and tact which is something you clearly lack. Contrary to what you believe Bryan, we don’t prescribe any religion. The only religion we actively advocate against is the Roman Catholic Church. We do this because we don’t like their outfits – they are dated, the hats are awful, and the Pope looks like a scary old man who could crab you in a darkroom and fist you while insisting you call him daddy. Thinking about it, you give off a similar vibe, should I call you Daddy too?

Bryan you speak of heresy as if that is a bad thing. We fags have been heretics for ages and we have become quite skilled at it. For goodness sake we even have parades celebrating it! So when you imply there is no room for heresy in the gay agenda I find it a tad misguided. So let me clarify it for you. I concede that we have a well engineered tolerance dogma that we insist the world follow, and that includes you too. We want gays in the military, in government and every other sector in society where we queer folk can have a measure of influence. We are, after all, hell bend on world domination! So when non-gay people go off script and stray from our well planned tolerance dogma it threatens our devious plans and those folk need to be dealt with. And that’s where our re-education camps come in.

The gay agenda will not tolerate intolerance! We deal with it decisively yet humanely. Seeing as it’s a criminal offence to exterminate homophobes and to do so in mass is considered a war crime (as we all learned from Hitler’s little blunder), we found a fabulous alternative. We have established secret re-education camps for people like you. These fantastic camps, which are immaculately decorated with gay paraphernalia I’ll have you know, take homophobes and make them more partial to our cause. Some call it brainwashing – we prefer to call it enlightenment. What makes these camps so genius and successful is the fact that they are in plain sight and many non-gay folk visit them regularly without even knowing it. They are at casinos, malls, your favourite family restaurants and some are even mobile and can be set up right in your living room. It is important for our agenda to be flexible yet durable, much like our highly valued power bottoms in our community, and as such our strategies need to be too.

If we can’t get to you at one of our re-education camps we do it on the one medium with the furthest reach – your television set. For years we have influenced and colluded with studio executives through their gay personnel assistants and whether you like it or not the queers are taking over daytime and prime-time television. Soon there will not be a show on television without a like able gay character. We tested the water with one of our most senior queer operatives and today she has one of the most successful talk shows in the world. We will enlighten you, your children and your grandchildren too into liking us and there is nothing you can do to stop it. So relax that rectum, grab that lube and whiff some poppers because we are cumming for you. But don’t fret too much, we don’t want to turn you gay, not permanently anyway – you are not that hot! We still need you for other things.

You see Bryan, non-gay folks have been doing such a stellar job at producing gay babies it would be a shame and counterproductive to stop it now. Sure we can now also procreate with the help of technology but fate is a bitch with a wicket sense of humour. As hard as gay parents try we just can’t seem to make our own children gay! Many gay parents have cried themselves to sleep at night after their kids came out to them as “a straight”. It’s not the lifestyle we want for them, it's not natural, but we accept them and love them regardless. In conclusion, Bryan on behalf of all queers I would like to thank you for putting another face on homophobia and reinforcing our diligence in furthering our gay agenda. We are looking forward to be up your rectum soon!

Till next time!