The Best Thing About Me Is You

My 10 Secrets!

Here are 10 things many of you who frequently read my Blog didn’t know about me. It’s not vitally important facts but I thought it would be fun to share my 10 not so secret secrets.

(1.) I’m a little psychic. Both my maternal and paternal grandmothers were psychic. The one could read tea leaves and hand palms and the other saw visions. I guess I inherited a little paranormal mojo from the both of them and I now have a killer intuition.

(2.) I can read the Tarot cards. For a couple of years I earned a living off my inherited physic powers and I did Tarot Card readings for approximately almost a 1000 people. I retired my Tarot cards because other people’s problems depressed me.

(3.) I will die in a plane crash and they’ll never find my body. Another psychic once did a reading for me and told me many things that came to fruition. She also told me I will die in a plane crash when I’m very old - I guess I’ll have to wait and see if she was right.

(4.) Half of the houses I have lived in were haunted. In my life, thus far, I have lived in 12 houses and 6 of them we shared with ghosts. The most memorable ones were the old man that used to climb the stairs and walk past my garden flat and the old man at our current house – both eventually moved on.

(5.) I can grow a full beard in 4 days. My facial hair grows ferociously fast and I have to shave twice a day (that’s when we go out at night that is). The longest I have gone, since reaching puberty, without shaving is 3 days and I looked like a Survivor contestant on day 28.

(6.) I have a uni-brow like Frieda Kahlo. Not many people know this because I shave it off once I day. The lady that waxes me and does my eyebrows have reprimanded me about this bad shaving habit many times, but I still continue to do so.

(7.) The moon affects my emotions. Whenever there is a full moon I get restless and moody and my husband follows the lunar calendar closely because of it. I use to try to counteract the moon’s affects on me, but I eventually gave up and made peace with my full moon craziness.

(8.) My natural eye color is red. All the boys on my maternal grandmother’s side of the family have blue eyes and I do too, but my eyes are sensitive and easily irritated. Consequently, the majority of the time my eyes are red and it’s one of my major causes of discontent.

(9.) I curse like a sailor. Unfortunately I have a bit of a potty mouth and frequently drop the F-bomb. My most frequently used curse words are: Fuck, Shit, Bitch, Son of a Bitch, Asshole and Bullshit! Curse words I don’t like are: Pussy, Jesus, God and Mother Fucker.

(10.) I suffer from chronic insomnia. As a teenager and into my mid twenties I could sleep between 8-12 hours a day, but this changed during my late twenties and now an average night's sleep for me is between 4-6 hours. The only upside to this is the fact that I can get allot more done with that extra 18-20 hours in my day.

Till next time.

We're all a Tad Crazy Sometimes

Life would be boring had we all been completely sane all of the time. We all have our little meltdowns, crazy moments and habits that other people find bizarre and makes us appear to be two eggs short of a dozen. Having received a text message yesterday regarding a former colleague’s apparent nervous breakdown (she made a number two on the bathroom floor, at work, instead of in the toilet and thought this was normal), I couldn’t help but ponder on my idiosyncrasies and the things I do, think and believe that, at times, too make me appear somewhat, shall I say, crazy.

Spending a day in my head would be interesting for some people and utterly frightening for others. You see the world according to me have certain rules; rules that one must abide by out of respect not only for yourself but also for those around you. Therefore, out of respect for your neighbors never leave the house in ugly clothes not even when taking out the trash. Performing menial task like this requires a certain amount of dignity and a robe, PJ’s and slippers is unacceptable. But there are other household chores that require less pageantry and more imagination.

Washing the dishes is something I absolutely dread and I never attempt it without rubber gloves. And this too have a certain routine to it. The dish water must be absolutely boiling hot and the items are always washed in a certain order. Seeing as this is a chore I loathe I make it more bearable for myself by wearing an imaginary tiara and sometimes I would even attempt singing. But, luckily for me we now own a dishwasher – the best invention by mankind in all of history. I still would wear my imaginary tiara while rinsing of the dishes before stacking them in my little magic cleaner, but instead of 20 minutes of washing it now only takes me 5, leaving me more time for my other queer habits like smelling my cats.

There’s a saying that reads “Always take the time to smell the roses”, well the same is true for cats. I would sniff my cats at least a couple of times a week and it relaxes me, they don’t particularly like it, but hey if they can smell each other’s asses I can sniff their fur. I believe smelling your cats is not only a unique way of showing them how much you love them and but also is a very effective way of checking up on their personal hygiene. After all, on completion of a good snuffing session they inevitably would end up spending an hour bathing themselves. Cats not only smell nice but they are also superb listeners too.

I have had many serious conversations with my cats about pressing issues. They don’t always appear to be enthralled by my discourse, but they always listen and sometimes they would even talk back. Other good listeners are telemarketers. Often times when I am bored and there are no Jehovah Witness around, I would engage telemarketers in heartfelt conversations. I amuse myself by asking them deeply personal questions about their personal lives, why they are still single, how strong they think their marriages/relationships are, whether they have ever cheated on their partners and whether God really exists. You’d be surprised by the responses I have had and how incapable they are of hanging up the phone in your ear. And this brings me to the issue of sex.

Most of us who are lucky have sex often and in order to do so one requires certain products, like condoms and KY. Frankly speaking I find purchasing these products embarrassing as the cashiers always looks at me judgingly and I know they know I am having sex. Buying sex aids became my husband’s responsibility three years ago after a rather awkward situation at a certain drug store with an over eager sales person that involved a crowd, condoms and KY. Let’s just say it was not my finest moment and the sales person had a really bad day as did I. Curiosity did not serve her well, and the same goes for my housekeeper.

Our housekeeper is obsessed with how much stuff costs and her vexing obsession has caused me to develop a paranoia about receipts. You see whenever hubby or I buy something whether it’s new dining room chairs, groceries or clothes she would dig through the trash, find the receipts and comment on how expensive and/or wasteful we are. It has reached a point where I am now shredding and hiding receipts from my maid. Sure we could fire her, but she is such a good housekeeper, sparing with cleaning products and punctual, the discreet disposing of receipts seems a small price to pay! But one day her mammoth guilt trips and assiduous curiosity about my spending habits will lead to a colossal melt down, the type I rarely have, but when I do have them they are epic!

Screaming is something people do who don’t know how to use words and I always try to avoid it. When I have melt downs I don’t raise my voice, I do one of three things – I either cry hysterically, behave like an emotionally disturbed child or become ominously quiet. In all three cases it’s always best to avoid eye contact with me, stay at least three feet way and speak with a quiet mild toned indoor voice. Transgressions of any of these rules while I am in the midst of an emotional supernova is sure to leave anyone traumatized and in need of serious counseling because I will then squeal profanities at you with apocalyptic zeal!

The world is one big queer place filled with strange and wonderfully diverse people and I firmly believe part of being sane requires us to be a little crazy. Embracing the crazy sometimes also opens up a new appreciation for the little things that makes life so very special. Sure, I sometimes behave like a child, I hide receipts from my maid, talk too and smell my cats and wash the dishes with a tiara while singing GAGA, but hey life is too short not to!

Till next time.

Cher Talks About "Burlesque"

STR8 Against H8 2011 Calendar

In a new and super clever PR twist, the FCKH8 campaign against gay bullying just shot a 2011 calendar with a group of (pretty much naked) straight guys. You can buy the calendar here for $10 ($4 of which will go to fund the fight for equal rights & for queer youth suicide prevention). Check out the behind the scenes video below.

Making of Video: FCKH8 "STR8 AGAINST H8" 2011 Calendar from FCKH8.com on Vimeo.

2010: A Defining Year

What a year this has been! 2010 will go down in my history book as the year of great change, a year with defining moments, a year that challenged me and a year that changed me. It has been a long hard 12 months and now, with this my last blog post for 2010, I invite you to look back on 2010 with me and muse over all the highs and lows, the chuckles and tears, the excitement and frustrations and decisions and choices that encapsulate the year that was 2010.

One of the major changes this year was somewhat a costly one with the purchase and renovation of our new home. The year started with Madness, Paint and Chandeliers as we embarked on a renovation adventure that almost drove us to the Loony bin. But we prevailed and settled into Suburbia, Porn and Bubble Wrap. I also Saw Dead People and had to accept The Undesirables and the Golden Girl Brigade and at times was at War with nature and nature at War with me.

This year hubby and I also celebrated our 12 Year Anniversary and dropped a Bombshell as we finally decided to have children – a journey that will commence in 2011. Our furry children also provided for some bloody entertainment committing Murder Most Fowl teaching us that When Pussy Attacks death is swift but messy. I also dabbled in cooking exploring Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking, a venture that will continue well into the next 2 years and is sure to expand my waist line.

2010 also saw me travelling quite a bit. I was fortunate enough to welcome in 2010 at Madagascar; little did I know that this would not be my only international trip. I also travelled to Luxembourg and was in 3 Countries in 3 Days. Shortly after this I learned that the Bitch Lies and that my mobile phone GPS is not to be trusted. My last trip for 2010 was to Nairobi Kenya where I unexpectedly found myself in Transit Hell.

But this year wasn’t all business class travel and laughter it also had some tears. Homophobia Killed Again and this had me ask Would You Rather Have a Gay or a Dead Child and Are You Prepared to Die for What You Are? I questioned Heterosexual Separatist, Christian or Heterosexual Bigotry, the fundamentalist freaks and their so-called Same Sex Attraction Disorder, the homophobic Pope, wrote an open letter to Robert Mugabe, pondered on When A Continent Hates and dealt with some Gay Bitches. I also again received my fare share of Hate Mails, something I have now grown accustomed too. But amongst all the sadness hope was born in the forms of the It Will Get Better and We Give a Damn campaigns.

South Africa also had quite the year with the hosting of the 2010 Soccer World Cup. I unexpectedly became a soccer fan with a small crush on a Mr. Ronaldo and also received a Heterosexual Education in Sports. But South Africa also had a tough time with the Ugly Truth being revealed and had us face the reality that racism is still alive and well.

Technology also provided for some mind meanderings as I dealt with Computer Generated Friends and Techno Addiction and discovered that technology can be used for good or for evil. It was technology that lead to my disturbing discovery of Clown Porn, something that still evoke nightmares.

This year the GLBT community also provided for some interesting material. South Africa won the Mr. Gay World pageant that lead me to ask whether he was A Porn Star or Ambassador? I also questioned the relevance of Hunky Man Meat Pageant. Queer Myths was explained Twice, A Queer Perspective on Heterosexuality provided, Personality Whores explored and I even decided to start a cult – The Illuminates Faggotus!

And then there was my blog. 2010 saw my blog turning 1 year old and grew from a meager 10 followers to 333 on BlogSpot and a whopping 4 400+ fans on Facebook and to all of you I’d like to extend a humble thank you! (Not bad for a blog without Porn don't you think?) Thank you for reading it, coming back and spreading the word. Without you reading my blog it would be just another ghost ship in a vast ocean of blogs – a lonely voice in the abyss. As for Blog Awards 2010 confirmed yet again my Susan Lucci status of the blogosphere, always nominated but never winning. My little web page was a finalist in the 2010 Bloggies for best African Blog and the 2010 SA Blog Awards for Most Controversial Blog. I won’t lie, of course I was disappointed for not winning, but I was honored for being nominated and making it to the finals. Again, none of this would have happened if it wasn’t for you, thank you for nominating my blog and for all your votes!

There’s only 3 days left of 2010, and what a year it was. It was quite a ride and yes there was some speed bumps but for the most part the journey was exciting and fulfilling. Thank you for sharing this year with me and let’s raise our glasses and bid adieu 2010 and welcome in 2011. Here’s to a new year full of possibilities and new opportunities.

Happy New Year!

Till Next Time.

Gay Pimp Jonny McGovern "BOSSY BOTTOM" featuring Team Pimp (Not for the easily offended)

Hate Mail (The Final Installment)

The second and final installment of Joe's hate mail.  I trust that this will now conclude this saga of the man who clearly needs to find and accept himself.  I think we can all learn from Joe's struggle as I am sure he's not the only person in the world who feels this way.  So in the spirit of community let's reach out to our fellow GLBT people during this holiday season.

From Joe:

The majority fits this stereotype? It's around one in ten for me, in terms of people I've met (and like most young bi/gay males from rigid social backgrounds, I've "met" quite a lot of other gay males).

One in freakin ten. Tell me. . .how is that a "majority"?

You feel this way because you drive the others away. You only know other effeminate gay people, so thus you think you are the majority. In truth, you are not--but since you drive the rest of us into the shadows, you feel like there's a connection between obnoxiousness and being gay. There isn't.

I help the gay community by showing other young conservative/semi-conservative people what bisexual or gay males really are: normal people, who happen to prefer the same gender. Believe it or not, center-right people my age tend to be open-minded about homosexuality, far more so then our parents generation.

I'll be honest: I've felt excluded and discriminated against by people like you, and I'm sick of it. I'm not the only one either. We don't have diversity in the LGBT community. Just a small elite who exclude most of us. I hate it.

Joe

My Response:

Merry Christmas!

Firstly, I don’t want to be rude but from the sounds of it you’re projecting your personal issues and generalizing it to other people and blame the GLBT community for wronging and/or making you feel excluded and I seem like the an easy target for this. You have no idea who I am as a person and who I know or interact with on a daily basis. Therefore, the bold statement you are making are unfounded, uncalled for and I take great umbrage to these statements – and so should everyone!

Secondly, no person or group can drive other people into the shadows, people do this to themselves out of choice. You choose to live a secret, you choose to live a lie and you choose to be unhappy. If you choose to live in the shadows and is a straight acting man then this means you are still in the closet and is hardly setting a good example for anyone and most of all you are hurting yourself. Setting a good example would mean that you live your life with pride and not judge other people as you clearly are doing at present. Why can’t people live their lives without pretence?

You use the word obnoxious (Very annoying or objectionable; offensive or odious; Exposed to harm, injury, or evil; Deserving of or liable to censure) when referring to how I view being gay. Joe, I put it to you, this is NOT how I view being gay this is how you view yourself. My advice is that you come to accept your sexual orientation and learn to love yourself. If you don’t first accept who you, respect yourself and love yourself, how can you expect other people to?

Joe, stop being angry, stop hating and make an effort to make friends with the plethora of different people in the GLBT community. Once you have changed your mindset you’ll find that you do fit in, there are more people out there who would like you just the way you are than you currently think, and who knows you may even find the man of your dreams.

Good luck on your journey.

TomBoy  - It's Ok the be Gay

Hate Mail

I do not often post my hate mails on my blog, but every now and again I do get some interesting ones especially the ones I get from the GLBT community.  So here is the latest installment of my blog’s hate fest.

From Joe:

I've been bothered by something for a long time. Why do attempts at group solidarity (and the identity politics they spawn) always end up persecuting the very people who were supposed to be protected?

I'll be frank; I find your blog incredibly offensive. You perpetuate the stereotype of the flamboyant, annoying gay man. But in truth, most gay people don't feel defined by their sexuality, and many of us feel actively excluded from "gay culture." I find this incredibly frustrating, especially the myths straight people believe--that all gay men are annoying and flamboyant and effeminate--but in a fake, obnoxious way, not like the truly transgendered.

At some point this has to stop. We actively approve of our own stereotyping; how could this lead to anything other then discrimination? It's perfectly logical to oppose gay marriage from seeing this stereotype--that's why stereotypes are inherently discriminating, and we shouldn't be encouraging them!

I think gay rights makes headwinds from people knowing the gay members of their families who are brave enough to come out, not from loud, annoying, obnoxious groups that are the minority among the LGBT community. In general, I think it's insulting to gay, bisexual, and transgendered people, all of whom are heavily slandered.

My response:

Thanks for your e-mail. All GLBT people try to fight homophobia in our own way and whether you want to believe it or not the majority of gay people do fit the stereotype. I believe in embracing this rather than fighting it as more power is given back to the GLBT community when we stop trying to conform to what society wants us to be. I am a gay man and yes I am effeminate and I try to live my life proudly. None of us should be ashamed of who or what we are which, if I read your e-mail correctly, is what you suggest.

The GLBT community is represented by the rainbow flag symbolizing the diversity of our community. We are all different but we have some things in common – our sexuality, a history of discrimination and a vision and mission for equality. Whether you like it or not our sexual orientation do define how the world perceives us, but it sure do not define the totality of our lives.

I do respect your view, but I would like to ask you – what have you done thus far for the GLBT community and what example do you set to change the world’s perceptions of us, apart from shame?

A Royal Visit

This past weekend our home was paid a visit by royalty – royalty of the gay kind. You see we were visited by two Über Queens, the kind of queer royalty one can only achieve with age and experience. All gay brood are born into the majesty of fabulousness awaiting their turns to graduate from princesses in their succession line of this our invisible gay royal heritage. Becoming a full fletch gay Queen doesn’t just happen overnight like in the fairy tales, it takes time and effort. To become a Queen requires walking a path of which I believe not many princesses have the appropriate respect for or the courage to follow and this led me to ask, do we as a gay community still look up to our elders and pay them the necessary respect they deserve?

My husband’s gay uncle and his life partner paid us a long overdue visit. They have been together now for well over two decades, were forced to keep their relationship hidden for part of it and lived through a period of time when homosexuality was still illegal and would get you arrested – not unlike some current countries in our still homophobic world. So on Sunday they came over for lunch with my in-laws and we had a gay old time, sharing stories, reminiscing about the past and looking towards the future.

My father-in-law is your typical conservative patriarch whose world views have been severely challenged, first with having a gay brother-in-law since the early 1970’s although it wasn’t spoken off back then. Then he ends up having to deal with having a gay son during the late 1990’s and then during mid 2000 gaining a gay son-in-law, shortly followed during 2010 when he learned that during the following month or years he would become a grandfather courteously of his gay children. So when two generations of homosexuals gets together for lunch it’s not astonishing for him to be slightly uncomfortable.

The Queens came to lunch to celebrate an early Christmas as they were flying to their annual holiday to the Seychelles and would not be around on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. They arrived a fashionable 20 minutes late with the in-laws in toe. All was in a festive mood and the weather was perfect. As the visit started drinks were served and conversation flowed. My sister-in-law was fascinated with the Queens spiritual believes and we were promptly talked into a transcendental meditation course that will help us clear our negative energies and emit and attract positive and healing powers. Clearly something my father-in-law and brother-in-law didn’t care much for, so the latter will be duped into believing he’ll be attending a tantric sex course with his wife.

As the afternoon progressed some conversation clearly made my father-in-law uncomfortable and the Queens and even I found myself at some stages editing the words as they left my mouth. Talking about the dark gay years, clubbing, twinks and Queens and how the world have changed for queer folk made for some gripping topics. You see years ago when homosexuals still had to live their lives in the shadows and have sex in bushes life was hard. The gay community had to learn to be smart not only in the way they were hooking up but also in how they spent their lives together, so a new language was developed.

Back then gay folk never referred to their life partners outside the community and if confronted inevitably your boyfriend would be your roommate, housemate or special friend. And then there were the gay slang. Homosexuals frequently had to Linda (lie) when they were Barbara (scared) in a Donovan (dark) alley while trying to give a Sally (give a blow job) to a Clutch Bag (married man) and got caught by Betty Bangles (police). Most often they would try to Ronda (run) away and when things calmed down go look for a Bag (boyfriend) to Patsy (party) with later. And then in the early 1980’s there came the Aunty Aida (Aids) that scared the whole community. Many queer folk lost their friends while the world battled to come to grips with the Gay Related Immune Deficiency (GRID) now known as HIV/AIDS.

Being a Princess and not yet a Queen, hearing stories of the olden days and how difficult it use to be for queers I must say I have garnered allot of respect for all our Queens out there. The Queens who fought in the trenches in stilettos and leather to help the next generation attain the liberties and privileges they never had. The Queens who helped paved the way for people like my father-in-law to easier except my husband and I. The Queens who died of Aids and those who survived to help the world realized this is not only a gay disease.

As our Sunday lunch came to an end and the afternoon sun lost its heat, the Queens departed ready for their Christmas on a island paradise. The Queens not only left us with presents, their approval of our new home and blessings for our future child, they also left me with an appreciation of our gay history and an admiration and healthy respect for our Gay Royalty – God Save the Queen.

Till next time.

The Worst of The Worst

2010 have had its anti-gay moments.  This video highlights the worst of the worst of America’s anti-gay crazy folk courtesy of Midweek Politics.  Featured are the Family Research Institute, Truth About Homosexuality, Dove World Outreach Centre and the cream of the crop of delusional anti-gay rhetoric the Westboro Baptist Church.  I had a good laugh watching this video, and I think you will too.

Epic Anti-Gay Moments Highlight Reel...the Worst of the Worst

Would You Eat Me?

The other day friends and I were discussion the topic of organic and free range food. The main idea behind this is that certain foods and animals are farmed organically and allowed to roam free, nibbling on whatever they can find in addition to their normal feeding program. Everything is natural, no hormones, steroids or pesticides are used. The produce of this way of farming is then also considered healthier and to some tastier, safer on the environment and more socially responsible. Well I tried some free range lamb chops the other day, and I don’t know what shit the lamb nibbled on, but I didn’t like the taste of it. So naturally, I thought if animals taste different if they eat different foods, wouldn’t humans do too? And if I ever were forced to, for whatever reason, would I be able to taste the difference?

No, I am not advocating cannibalism, but just think about it. In 1972 with the Andes Flight Disaster 16 survivors faced starvation and were stranded for 72 days before being rescued. Facing starvation and fighting to stay alive the survivors eventually started eating their dead fellow passengers. Similar cases have also been documented in our recent past where cannibalism occurred out of necessity, although not many of the people involved are willing to admit to it. As disgusting as eating your mate seems, the reality is that this could also happen to you! With this thought in mind I started asking myself some serious and peculiar questions.

Should I be in a plane crash and survive, would I be willing to cross that line? Well, I don’t know, but this spiked my interest and led me to question the following. Once the repulsion of having to eat another human being is replaced with desperation and hunger, would a vegetarian passenger taste different from a vegan, an healthy meat eating person taste different from a diabetic and would Caucasians’ meat be tougher or more tender than that of an Asian. Would homosexuals be fruitier than heterosexual people? Men taste better than women?  Would South Africans be less or more fatty than Americans?

Naturally if animals’ taste differs due to what they are fed, surely humans would too. Contemplate this for moment. In all countries there are different types of department stores whose products differ vastly in quality and price. Some sell top of the range imported fresh produce, organically farmed vegetables and the meat of animals that lived stress free lives, were pampered and fed only the best. Then there are stores that sell products of lesser quality and the meat of animals that were sent to their deaths screaming in questionable abattoirs. The more affluent in society will opt for the more expensive stores and normal working class folk for the affordable ones, so will you be able to taste the difference between the rich, working class and the poor? Would the rich passengers taste like Wagyu steaks and the working class like rib eye?

Working from the assumption that people would taste different due to their social standing, culinary preferences, race and general health would this influence your pick in dinner? After the plane has crashed and you survived what would the next step be? I would assume that the dead passengers would have to be organized and categorized and the best specimens clearly marked and preserved for once all the airplane food runs out. Now I have no idea how to prepare and cook a person, but one thing is for sure – if I am ever faced with a situation as dire as this I will have to be served the food with condiments, spices and booze. But what goes with human?

Well, I can only assume that garlic, rosemary, cloves, bay leaves and any other strong herb will have to be used. I don’t want to think that we would taste like venison or pork, but in all probability we will taste like chicken. After all whenever anyone eats anything strange and is later asked what it tasted like they inevitably say CHICKEN. So some sage and thyme would be essential. I guess as time passes and the survivors eat their way through the rich, poor, vegans, vegetarians, carnivores, heterosexuals, homosexuals, Caucasians, Asians, Blacks and whatever other race was on the menu, each individual temporary cannibal would identify their favourite. My favourite meat is lamb, maybe in that situation it would be an Indian Vegan or a Caucasian Vegetarian with high blood pressure. Again I hope I never have to find out!

All your French and Italian culinary skills would be tested to the limit in case of such a tragedy. For one, I suspect there would not be many tools to cook with and unless you have a former Survivor cast member on your doomed flight who survived, in all probability you won’t have any fire as well. Secondly, I don’t think there are any classes in human meat preparation apart from anatomy classes in Medical School so unless you were unfortunate enough to have a cannibalistic serial killer on board, whom have had some prior practice in this filed, you won’t have any prime cut meat for dinner. And if you do, chances are good that you may not live much longer anyway.

As so many of us will be travelling to our respective holiday destinations this December, flying out to be with our families and some even travelling by boat, just remember the Andes Disaster and always be ready for the unexpected. You never know when or where you may be marooned and you may have to prepare and eat your mate, fellow passengers and/or your captain. So the next time I board a flight I will be sure to be packing some extra condiments and spices and if you are sitting next to me and you wonder why I ask about your health and eating habits, now you know why.

Bon Appétit! Till Next Time!

The Flames of Hell's Kitchen #1

Here Comes the Sun

My all time favourite Nina Simone Song!

Whenever I feel a little blue this song always cheer me up. 

Nina Simone February 21, 1933 – April 21, 2003

A journey just begun

As the GLBT community we far too often forget about the (T)transgender in our community. Our transgender brother and sisters face many adversities, some difficult for us to imagine. Their path to self actualization requires not only a physical transformation but also a social one. Here is a brief introduction to the life of my friend Gavi, as written by her, a transgender woman from North Carolina USA, a woman on a journey that has only just begun.

Born physically a boy to heterosexual parents in the conservative south I still found myself always drawn to being female. And on top of that I always was attracted to members of all genders. Thinking I was going to "burn" forever and struggling to find a balance between my religion, people, and my sexuality I came to the point I just didn't know what to do.

I began to physically beat myself because I was so confused as to why I was this way... why am I attracted to members of the same-sex? I had always been a good person was kind to others and had a love for the Divine and still do, but in the end it just didn't make sense why this loving Divine being or force would condemn me because I was born this way. A year prior to the climax of my struggles I met Stephanie Silberstein and we became best of friends. The next year she began to help me in my worst of times and guided me through all this pain. I began to explore more of who I am and had the attitude that I could pull through this and work hard to find myself successful. I now love who I am... and that person is a openly Bisexual/Pansexual Transgender Woman.

I have been living openly as a woman for nearly a year and my next step is to legally change my name to fit my gender identity as female. To read more please check out the book my friend Stephanie wrote called "Shades of Gay" and in the back you will find the Afterword written by myself, Hadassah D Gavi Chayim (the name I'm adopting). I also write blogs, am an Artist and LGBTQ Activist and I love to teach and give people hope. Check out my blogs It's a Girl to see the latest news on my life as a Transgender Woman and earth based Jew.

Thank you so much for your support... it has actually been a predominantly positive journey so far for myself as a Transgender Woman but North Carolina is fighting me about my name change... if you would like to show some support for me and you have a Facebook account please visit my Facebook Page. Thank you again so very much.

Thank you for reading this and I hope that I can bring hope to many people and make a positive difference in the LGBTQ community by the life I'm living with higher self-esteem and happiness and joy.

Stupid things said in Court

I received this e-mail today and almost fell of my chair laughing, just had to share it with you!  Enjoy!

Q: What happened then?

A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

A: I give you two guesses.

Q: What is the meaning of sperm being present?

A: It indicates intercourse.

Q: Male sperm?

A: That is the only kind I know.

Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male or female?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of collision?

A: huh?

Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.

A: That's me.

Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

Q: Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

A: I don't understand your question.

Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?

A: I'll be three months on November 8.

Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?

A: Yes.

Q: What were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q:  Were there girls?

A: ........

Q: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

A: ............

Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?

A: Yes.

Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?

A: Not yet.

Q: All you responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

Q:  Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

A: Yes, I have been since early childhood.

Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Brown?

A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.

Q:And Mr. Brown was dead at the time, is that correct?

A:No. He was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!

Our House Got Faggier!

This is our newest addition to our family.  My husbands' obsession with bunnies have reached a new level!

World Aids Day

Do you support World Aids Day?

Always Practise Safe Sex.

Know your status and get tested.

Access for all to HIV prevention, treatment, care and support is a critical part of human rights.