Friday, July 29, 2011

I See Dead People

When hubby and I bought our new home we got more than we had bargained for. You see apart from minor- that later turned into major renovations we also inherited a tenant that lurks around our property and enjoys playing tricks on us. Whether you believe it or not, we have a ghost! The late husband of the previous owner‘s spirit still roams around and whenever we criticize any of his former DIY projects that we now have to fix, or do anything he disapproves off he loses his temper with poltergeist like flare.
Our haunting started out like most do: We moved in! At first it started with small annoyances for which there could have been any number of scientific explanations. A light bulb exploding hardly would raise any suspicion of paranormal activity, but when it happens frequently and a pattern that has nothing to do with faulty electrical wiring emerges one starts to think twice. The same holds true for our elaborate alarms system that would go off at the most inconvenient times for no earthly reason and even after being inspected by a technician no fault with the system could be identified. And no, it’s not just electrical interference through which he likes making his presence known; he also has a sense of humor which I hardly find amusing. Our ghost likes hiding sunglasses, keys and mobile phones and he especially enjoys doing this when you are late for work. The punch line being that once you return home the item would be placed neatly back at the same spot where you were looking for it that morning.
Perhaps the strangest event was when friends of ours came over to visit with their kids. We had only been living here for two weeks and removed the majority of the knick knacks that were hidden and scattered around the garden, ranging from flower pots, broken water features and hideous molded sculptures. Our friend, her daughter and youngest son ventured into our back garden and all three saw the sculpture of a monkey - the same sculpture that we removed the week prior and were no longer there! After their visit the daughter told her mother that she didn’t like our house and the father concurred later telling us that he sensed a spirit in and around our home.
The previous owners popped by our house a week later to bring the last set of keys we were owed. Knowing that wife and daughter of our ghost were pretty open-minded I told them what was happening in the house. Not exactly knowing what reaction I was seeking I was flabbergasted by their response. They confirmed that the husband and father was still in the house and was sitting on our bed in our bedroom. After briefly hyperventilating thinking we have had sex on that bed where the ghost is sitting, I tried to composed myself and before I could prevent the words from spewing out of my mouth I said “Well then, Tell him to leave - God damn it!” They responded by saying he would leave when he was ready to go. Not at all the answer I was hoping for as I was secretly wishing they would leave him a spiritual forwarding address and accompanying taxi fare.
The old man’s favorite spot on the property was a workshop in which he used to build model trains. This spot I suspect was also his hiding place when he wanted peace and quiet and to get away from his wife and daughter. When we moved in his workshop seemed the perfect place for an outside entertainment area and it was promptly demolished and revamped to become a covered Moroccan Patio. We also noticed that this spot was the one place on the property our cats refused to go near. As work progressed trouble started, first there was a wasp infestation that took weeks to chase away, and then the one automated garage door refused to work and would open by itself whenever it felt like it. The final straw was this past weekend with our housewarming. We decided to have the party under the patio and everything was going well up until round about 11:30 pm – our ghost’s bedtime. He decided we partied enough and electricity to the patio area was cut off. Several trips to the main power board inside the house were pointless as the power kept tripping, so we finished off the party under moonlight with candles. The next morning, in denial about our haunting yet again, I tried to find the electrical problem, and again there was none and everything was working perfectly and was back to normal.
We live in a haunted house with an old man that does not like being criticized. I suspect he may also disapprove of our live style, friends, pets, taste in furniture and art. He died just over a year and a half ago and doesn’t seem like he wants to leave. Even though he is still here, it is strange but I am not scared. It’s kind of comforting knowing I am not alone on the property when no-one else is around. He may stay for as long as he wishes on condition that he doesn’t break anything else, accept the fact that the queers have moved in and due to the fact that he’s dead he forfeits any voting rights or opinions regarding future alteration to the property.
...Till next time....

Gay Ghost (pt 1)


Chris said...

My dearest Pierre

Thanks for giving me a good laugh for today. I really needed it.

Having shared my previous residence with a similar experience I can relate and being able to sense and on occasion see the departed I have to say that my thoughts are with you.

Just keep having a sense of humor about it and you should be fine.

Pierre said...

Chris, I agree. There's not much more to do but keep my sense of humor. The ghost will eventually realize we are really boring and leave. Besides I don't have the time or patience for the drama of an exorcism.

AnaIsa said...

hello Pierre! I just love the way you write! Your words always turn my day a better day! I just can´t read it all without a smile on my face!

Well, that gentleman staying at you house will stay forever if you don't do nothing! and he will not be quiet! You better help him to go!!!talk to someone who deals with these kinds of situations. Most of the times they only need someone to show them the way to go!

Have a great (and I hope quiet) week:-)

MG said...

You can try to scatter pieces of garlic around the room. old people in my country say it helps :D

Pierre said...

@ AnaIsa, thanks I am glad you enjoy my blog. What the olg guy's concern I'd rather have him go in his own time. If things get worse we'll take the next necessary steps. It's just a pity ghosts can't cook and clean to earn their keep!

@ MG, good advice and another bonus is that it will help keep vampires away as well. On a seriously note, I have also heard of the garlic thing!

tdot said...

Lol interesting developments, I love your take on the whole situation its pretty hilarious. But its nice that you have come to terms with it and are willing to compromise lol

Pierre said...

tdot, well it's not like I have a choice - there's no negotiating with a ghost unless you hire a medium and that comes at a hefty premium.

ChrisJ said...

One apartment I lived in had odd occurences - the door to one kitchen cupboard (which securely clicked closed) would always open as soon as I turned my back. A friend even tightened it so that it was actually a bit hard to open and close - didn't help. Also my battery alarm clock would always run 30 minutes slow even when I tried to trick it by setting it 30 minutes ahead. When I moved from that place, the clock was just fine.

Like you, I didn't feel any malice; it was just kind of bizarre.

I think you got a little extra for your money!

Anonymous said...

HI there, how interesting that you would post this the day after my hubby & I watched Paranormal Activity. Actually it really just goes to show that there is no such thing as coincidence.

I have a friend who lives in Texas and owns a B&B who has had similar experiences. For the most part, her Spirits are peaceful, however when she went about renovating the kitchen they were none too pleased with it and definitely let it be known.

For the most part, I suppose there really isn't much you can do about your ghosties other than try to live in harmony; provided they are not causing any harm to you or yours.

Wishing you well...

Pierre said...

@ ChrisJ, I agree. As long as he keeps to his side of the spiritual divide and leave our stuff alone we can cohabitate just fine. Also hope that this living arrangement isn't permanent.

@ SweetPeaRice, it seems they don't like change. But like I said they are dead so the do not have any say in the matter. We can live in harmony once they too accept this one little technicality ;-)

Konrad Deire said...

hello Pierre,

I have a foolproof system to get rid of your ghost<. offerings! I suggest you make a small altar in his usual hiding place and make daily offerings of food, drink, incense and a flower, that's how we control ghosts in Bali.
I am highly sensitive and I do see ghosts all the time. It is good for him, it is good for you (not to mention your cats)

Konrad Deire

Jason Shaw said...

Ohh spooky

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