Saturday, December 25, 2010

Hate Mail (The Final Installment)

The second and final installment of Joe's hate mail.  I trust that this will now conclude this saga of the man who clearly needs to find and accept himself.  I think we can all learn from Joe's struggle as I am sure he's not the only person in the world who feels this way.  So in the spirit of community let's reach out to our fellow GLBT people during this holiday season.

From Joe:

The majority fits this stereotype? It's around one in ten for me, in terms of people I've met (and like most young bi/gay males from rigid social backgrounds, I've "met" quite a lot of other gay males).
One in freakin ten. Tell me. . .how is that a "majority"?

You feel this way because you drive the others away. You only know other effeminate gay people, so thus you think you are the majority. In truth, you are not--but since you drive the rest of us into the shadows, you feel like there's a connection between obnoxiousness and being gay. There isn't.

I help the gay community by showing other young conservative/semi-conservative people what bisexual or gay males really are: normal people, who happen to prefer the same gender. Believe it or not, center-right people my age tend to be open-minded about homosexuality, far more so then our parents generation.

I'll be honest: I've felt excluded and discriminated against by people like you, and I'm sick of it. I'm not the only one either. We don't have diversity in the LGBT community. Just a small elite who exclude most of us. I hate it.

My Response:

Merry Christmas!

Firstly, I don’t want to be rude but from the sounds of it you’re projecting your personal issues and generalizing it to other people and blame the GLBT community for wronging and/or making you feel excluded and I seem like the an easy target for this. You have no idea who I am as a person and who I know or interact with on a daily basis. Therefore, the bold statement you are making are unfounded, uncalled for and I take great umbrage to these statements – and so should everyone!

Secondly, no person or group can drive other people into the shadows, people do this to themselves out of choice. You choose to live a secret, you choose to live a lie and you choose to be unhappy. If you choose to live in the shadows and is a straight acting man then this means you are still in the closet and is hardly setting a good example for anyone and most of all you are hurting yourself. Setting a good example would mean that you live your life with pride and not judge other people as you clearly are doing at present. Why can’t people live their lives without pretence?

You use the word obnoxious (Very annoying or objectionable; offensive or odious; Exposed to harm, injury, or evil; Deserving of or liable to censure) when referring to how I view being gay. Joe, I put it to you, this is NOT how I view being gay this is how you view yourself. My advice is that you come to accept your sexual orientation and learn to love yourself. If you don’t first accept who you, respect yourself and love yourself, how can you expect other people to?

Joe, stop being angry, stop hating and make an effort to make friends with the plethora of different people in the GLBT community. Once you have changed your mindset you’ll find that you do fit in, there are more people out there who would like you just the way you are than you currently think, and who knows you may even find the man of your dreams.

Good luck on your journey.

TomBoy  - It's Ok the be Gay


Ashley said...

Pierre, I wouldn't consider this or the other letter a hate mail.
I think what Joe has an issue with is that he believes your blog comes off as representing all gay men, but it's coming from a Princess, and not all gay men are princesses or queens.
Joe's an average Joe. His sexual orientation is simply a sexual orientation, and he's trying to fit into the world as a whole.
He thinks your blog represents that the GLBT community is the only community for those people people, and so, claims to represent him, but that's just not who he is, and that's what he takes issue to.
When someone speaks against homosexuality, they aren't thinking about the loving couples and the husbands and wives denied their basic rights. They're thinking of AIDS and pride parades and gay nightclubs, and they extend their negative perception of those to include all GLBT people. Joe's not against homosexuality at all. He's against the bigotry and ignorance of those who are against it, and wants to portray the other, often-forgotten side of homosexuality.

Pierre, I didn't mean for any of this to sound condescending, and I apologize if any of it did. You have a great, entertaining and insightful blog, but I agree with Joe--"gay culture" does not include all of the GLBT people out there, and it would be a mistake to say that it does.

Phone Number Trace said...

People may differ in terms of their sexual orientation but this should not matter as long as they don't harm others.

Phunk Factor said...

Even in the gay circle there are several more circles....there are those straight-acting, there are effeminate men, there are twinks, there are bears, there are old, there are young and many more....we are as diverse as the color of the rainbow!!

And just like any high school, everybody has a jocks prefer cheerleaders, there are preferences with us too....but the thing is to look past all that....if u manage that successfully and get to know the person, you really won't care if he listen to Madonna or not!!! Like u's about broadening the horizons!

Also I gave you an check it out! :)

Pierre said...

@Ashley, point taken. My blog does not purport to represent the GLBT community in its entirety, as it is a personal blog and should be read as such. Joe appears to be one of those homophobic homos that I have written about before (, a gay guy that looks down on other gay men, thereby excluding himself from the gay community and who consequently blames his own isolation and frustrations on the GLBT community.

@Phone Number Trace, I totally agree.

@Phunk Factor, I am honored to be receiving your award. Thank you!

thatpurpleone said...

Surely all homosexual men aren't feminine? In my experience, some are - but I've also met gay guys with interest in football that goes beyond ronaldo's sexy bod ;)
I admit, I don't know any lesbians, but I have some bisexual girlfriends, and majority straight ones. They're all pretty different, and I don't think it's their sexual preferences that define their character, because now that I think about it, there's no pattern to it.
As for me - well, I'm only 17 and only just figuring things out. But I find myself attracted to both sexes, though I appear to have higher standards for the girls I get into relationships with :D But I wouldn't fall into any specific "category" - I love football and dresses!

It takes all sorts to make a world, afterall :)

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