A Royal Visit

This past weekend our home was paid a visit by royalty – royalty of the gay kind. You see we were visited by two Über Queens, the kind of queer royalty one can only achieve with age and experience. All gay brood are born into the majesty of fabulousness awaiting their turns to graduate from princesses in their succession line of this our invisible gay royal heritage. Becoming a full fletch gay Queen doesn’t just happen overnight like in the fairy tales, it takes time and effort. To become a Queen requires walking a path of which I believe not many princesses have the appropriate respect for or the courage to follow and this led me to ask, do we as a gay community still look up to our elders and pay them the necessary respect they deserve?

My husband’s gay uncle and his life partner paid us a long overdue visit. They have been together now for well over two decades, were forced to keep their relationship hidden for part of it and lived through a period of time when homosexuality was still illegal and would get you arrested – not unlike some current countries in our still homophobic world. So on Sunday they came over for lunch with my in-laws and we had a gay old time, sharing stories, reminiscing about the past and looking towards the future.

My father-in-law is your typical conservative patriarch whose world views have been severely challenged, first with having a gay brother-in-law since the early 1970’s although it wasn’t spoken off back then. Then he ends up having to deal with having a gay son during the late 1990’s and then during mid 2000 gaining a gay son-in-law, shortly followed during 2010 when he learned that during the following month or years he would become a grandfather courteously of his gay children. So when two generations of homosexuals gets together for lunch it’s not astonishing for him to be slightly uncomfortable.

The Queens came to lunch to celebrate an early Christmas as they were flying to their annual holiday to the Seychelles and would not be around on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. They arrived a fashionable 20 minutes late with the in-laws in toe. All was in a festive mood and the weather was perfect. As the visit started drinks were served and conversation flowed. My sister-in-law was fascinated with the Queens spiritual believes and we were promptly talked into a transcendental meditation course that will help us clear our negative energies and emit and attract positive and healing powers. Clearly something my father-in-law and brother-in-law didn’t care much for, so the latter will be duped into believing he’ll be attending a tantric sex course with his wife.

As the afternoon progressed some conversation clearly made my father-in-law uncomfortable and the Queens and even I found myself at some stages editing the words as they left my mouth. Talking about the dark gay years, clubbing, twinks and Queens and how the world have changed for queer folk made for some gripping topics. You see years ago when homosexuals still had to live their lives in the shadows and have sex in bushes life was hard. The gay community had to learn to be smart not only in the way they were hooking up but also in how they spent their lives together, so a new language was developed.

Back then gay folk never referred to their life partners outside the community and if confronted inevitably your boyfriend would be your roommate, housemate or special friend. And then there were the gay slang. Homosexuals frequently had to Linda (lie) when they were Barbara (scared) in a Donovan (dark) alley while trying to give a Sally (give a blow job) to a Clutch Bag (married man) and got caught by Betty Bangles (police). Most often they would try to Ronda (run) away and when things calmed down go look for a Bag (boyfriend) to Patsy (party) with later. And then in the early 1980’s there came the Aunty Aida (Aids) that scared the whole community. Many queer folk lost their friends while the world battled to come to grips with the Gay Related Immune Deficiency (GRID) now known as HIV/AIDS.

Being a Princess and not yet a Queen, hearing stories of the olden days and how difficult it use to be for queers I must say I have garnered allot of respect for all our Queens out there. The Queens who fought in the trenches in stilettos and leather to help the next generation attain the liberties and privileges they never had. The Queens who helped paved the way for people like my father-in-law to easier except my husband and I. The Queens who died of Aids and those who survived to help the world realized this is not only a gay disease.

As our Sunday lunch came to an end and the afternoon sun lost its heat, the Queens departed ready for their Christmas on a island paradise. The Queens not only left us with presents, their approval of our new home and blessings for our future child, they also left me with an appreciation of our gay history and an admiration and healthy respect for our Gay Royalty – God Save the Queen.

Till next time.