Thursday, December 23, 2010

Hate Mail

I do not often post my hate mails on my blog, but every now and again I do get some interesting ones especially the ones I get from the GLBT community.  So here is the latest installment of my blog’s hate fest.
From Joe:
I've been bothered by something for a long time. Why do attempts at group solidarity (and the identity politics they spawn) always end up persecuting the very people who were supposed to be protected?

I'll be frank; I find your blog incredibly offensive. You perpetuate the stereotype of the flamboyant, annoying gay man. But in truth, most gay people don't feel defined by their sexuality, and many of us feel actively excluded from "gay culture." I find this incredibly frustrating, especially the myths straight people believe--that all gay men are annoying and flamboyant and effeminate--but in a fake, obnoxious way, not like the truly transgendered.

At some point this has to stop. We actively approve of our own stereotyping; how could this lead to anything other then discrimination? It's perfectly logical to oppose gay marriage from seeing this stereotype--that's why stereotypes are inherently discriminating, and we shouldn't be encouraging them!

I think gay rights makes headwinds from people knowing the gay members of their families who are brave enough to come out, not from loud, annoying, obnoxious groups that are the minority among the LGBT community. In general, I think it's insulting to gay, bisexual, and transgendered people, all of whom are heavily slandered.

My response:

Thanks for your e-mail. All GLBT people try to fight homophobia in our own way and whether you want to believe it or not the majority of gay people do fit the stereotype. I believe in embracing this rather than fighting it as more power is given back to the GLBT community when we stop trying to conform to what society wants us to be. I am a gay man and yes I am effeminate and I try to live my life proudly. None of us should be ashamed of who or what we are which, if I read your e-mail correctly, is what you suggest.

The GLBT community is represented by the rainbow flag symbolizing the diversity of our community. We are all different but we have some things in common – our sexuality, a history of discrimination and a vision and mission for equality. Whether you like it or not our sexual orientation do define how the world perceives us, but it sure do not define the totality of our lives.

I do respect your view, but I would like to ask you – what have you done thus far for the GLBT community and what example do you set to change the world’s perceptions of us, apart from shame?


Anonymous said...

@ Joe: I God wantted us to be hetrosexuals, he would have made us that way!

Hadyn Thomas said...

Pierre, what an excellent and very diplomatic response.

Reading between the lines I would conclude that Joe has some issues with is own identity and sexuality. I say this from personal experience. I have off days about my identity and the first thing I find myself doing is digging at my sexuality and the gay community.

I am sure he attacks you because you are quite someone to admire. You are proud of who you are and make no excuses for it. I personally admire that about you and is one reason I enjoy reading you so much - you are so brutally honest.

At the end of the day we all choose whether to be offended or not and Joe has made that choice because something you said pushed uncomfortable buttons in him.

It is more credit to you that you graciously replied to him when many would have ignored him or attacked him back.


Clueless said...

I just have to shake my head. It is definitely his issue. Love your response!

Pierre said...

@Anonymous, I couldn’t agree more.

@Hadyn Thomas, I agree, Joe clearly needs to deal with his own issues. I don’t normally respond to my hate mails but Joe seemed like he needed one. I have become accustomed to being attacked by homophobes, the religious right and fanatics but attacks from the gay community is quite a rarity. But I purposefully decided to publish his e-mail as I think we can all learn from it. There are many GLBT people in the world who struggle to come to terms with their sexual orientation and it manifests in many different ways. In such cases we should be firm yet kind when they attack us.

@Clueless, thanks ;-)

Anonymous said...

Is like talking about Italians being Pizza and pasta eaters! we think of italy and immediately what comes up would be Mafia spaghetti and pizza but there is so much more to that then just those things- but unfortuanely human nature is to stereotype most of times and we should all take it with a pinch of salt as we all know there is much more then pizza and spaghetti in italy as well as there is so much more seeing just a gay man! So obviously you got some issues Joe! you should be glad that people talk about Gays they might as well just ignore you and that could be worse.take it easy life is too short to care what other people do and say! Roberta

Pierre said...

@Roberta, well said!

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