Monday, February 1, 2010

Scared Heteroseparatists

Every now and again I get sent YouTube Videos or links to articles by my friends and blog readers; and every so often a couple of these videos and articles gets my blood boiling. This past week was no different: I was sent an advertisement by a group of people opposed to gay marriage and referred to a blog post by a “heteroseparatist” both claiming that gay marriage threatens society. After rolling my eyes several times, sighing out of pure frustration and my mind meandering through strange crevices trying to understand their flawed logic I was left with one question, why are these people so petrified of gay marriage?
Being blessed to live in South Africa (a country where homosexuality and gay marriage is legal), we have pretty much proven that since gay marriage was legalized, just over 3 years ago, the sky hasn’t fallen. My marriage is yet to destroy society and the recession and natural disasters of late had nothing to do with my marital status or that of my fellow queers’ marital bliss. The only threat to the sanctity of marriage could be the fact that gays have now put the “Happy” back into marriage and God forbid our marriages outlast those of our heterosexual counterparts. Apart from the fact that our marriage is of the same gender and natural procreation have to be assisted with modern technology there is no real difference between my marriage and that of my neighbor. To my knowledge, since I legally wedded my husband, my marriage has not directly caused the divorce of any heterosexuals, affected their marriages and gay marriage was not cited as the root cause of any marriage being dissolved in Divorce Court.
Gay marriage rightfully could be seen as challenging traditions in society. Traditions that is outdated. Traditionally, if a woman gets knocked up the child’s father have to marry her. Not the case amongst us queers as I am yet to hear of a knocked up gay guy! We get married because we want to not because we have to. Traditionally, when you are married eventually there will be children (planned or unplanned). With homosexuals there are no unplanned pregnancies and it is choice to start a family and this is often times very much considered. Traditionally, one partner in a marriage will be the breadwinner and the other the caregiver and homemaker. In gay marriage this is not always the case as there often times are 2 breadwinners and the duty of care giving and homemaking is a mutually shared responsibility. Many more chauvinistic and archaic traditions are challenged not only by gay marriage but also by feminists and modern society. Anti-gay marriage advocates seems intimidated by the level of control gay people and society in general can now exert over their own marriages, they may fear that a more liberal and empowering example of the traditional family and family values will replace their old world views. They fear change!
Playing the religion card to condemn gay marriage is getting old and uninteresting. They say “read the Bible with an open mind” yet they can’t follow their own advice. They make it sound like Armageddon is imminent by saying “There is a storm gathering, the clouds are dark, the winds are strong and they are scared”. At first I thought they were referring to Global Warming as this is a true threat, but no they fear gay marriage even more. They say gay marriage will take away their rights, make them lose their jobs, government will punish them, change the way they live and they will have no choice. Honestly, I never knew homosexuals were that powerful that the union of two gay people who love each other could cause so much loss to people they don’t even know. I never knew that gay people not being able to marry was the fiber that kept certain societies together. I never knew that gay marriage was a greater social concern far outranking important issues like poverty, unemployment, homelessness, starving children and war.
Gay marriage is legal in South Africa, Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Canada, Norway, Sweden and the United Kingdom and all of these countries are still standing and all these societies still functioning. Therefore, I find it particularly queer that a country such as the United States of America, one of the most powerful countries in the world, is battling giving equal rights to homosexuals and so dreadfully and unashamedly fearful of gay marriage. The bigots and ignoramuses need to wake up to the realities of the world and accept society is changing and modernizing. They can either adapt and accept it or keep on fighting it and lose.

Till next time.

The National Organization for Marriage - Gathering Storm

Weathering the Storm (Response to NOM Gathering Storm)


ChrisJ said...

The tradition most at risk is the centuries(millenia?)-old one of entrenching and protecting heterosexual males' sexual privilege and domination. Religious and cultural ideologies have built up for centuries to enshrine this in the fabric of scoiety and in individuals'lives. Just as the equality of women and reproductive rights threaten the status quo, so does homosexuality and gay marriage (marriage being one of the great ideological controls of all time).

So make no mistake, you do not actually threaten the existence of any individual heterosexual marriage, in spite of what that idiotic video suggests, but you do threaten an entrenched power structure big time. As gay marriage is legalized in more places, I believe we will see an even greater push to end it with even more draconian methods used to argue against it.

Okay - end of rant!

Pierre said...

ChrisJ, thanks for your rant! More of us should express our views on this matter, more of us should get angry about it, more of us should do something about it!

Meagan said...

Our world is far from perfect, and there is still so much fear that runs our lives. It's not just gay marriage that scares people, but it is high on the list. It's right up there with drugs, Obama, and abortion in our country.
I wish that people could see the benefits to gay marriage, and what it could do to HELP America (and the world)! :) Adoption rates would rise I think as more gay couples would be approved to adopt with the the legal documents supporting their union and that's good because it provides a small economic boost and more importantly, a home to a child who otherwise would have nothing; there would be more weddings, boosting that industry to new heights and maybe giving us a little boost in the economy as well. Plus (not to be too stereotypical or sound inappropriate) GLBT weddings could provide a rip roaring good time with only the best music, food, and fashion, and could really inspire their heterosexual friends ;) haha; and yes, they could be an example of what married life should be-not because no gay couples would divorce, because they might- but because they have had to struggle so hard just to get there. Having seen them go through that struggle, the world would know that they are going forth with the determination and love to make it work... and THAT is amazing, inspiring, and beautiful.
The biggest benefit of gay marriage though: it helps to lead our world in the direction of peace and love. People want to love and be loved and yet people are scared of love that they don't understand. If they people of the GLBT community can help people see the light simply by living their love out loud, I think it would be good for us all.
Thank you for the thought provoking words you provide. :)
Peace and Love,

Anonymous said...

NOM has to be one of the worst hate groups I've ever seen, it disgusts me to see them using children to pass on their prejudice (remember the ad "Im Confused?...") and it disgusts me even more to see society allows these kinds of groups to exist!!

Gay marriage doesnt and will never impact society in the way these hateful people say it will, society's own stupid prejudices and its need to control minority groups to keep them down will do that.

It really irks me that people like NOM use gay marriage as an excuse to incite hatred and fear especially when they use Christian values as an excuse. All they are doing is justifying their sickening behaviour.

Totally agree with your post.

Pierre said...

@ Meagan, thanks. It's about love! The other benefits that you highlighted is all cherries on the cake.

@ lolavibe, groups like NOM use freedom of speech to spread their intolerance. That's why I also posted the response to NOM's video. We sometimes forget that freedom of speech can be used to our advantage as well.

Anonymous said...

True... I cant stand injustice and I wish we could just nip these stupid groups in the bud before they gather momentum. They are poison to our communities.

But your right, its about love... and thats always an advantage!

fagalicious said...

i love your this article its the best article i ve read in weeks. this could really win some trophy . u are right its all about love and we the GLBT ve love in plenty.

Pierre said...

Thanks fagalicious ;-)

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