Thursday, March 14, 2013

What You Always Wanted to Ask a Gay Guy

There are many curious people out there.  And you know who you are.  People who are curious about what exactly gay guys get up to in the bedroom, amongst other things.  So this week I challenged my Facebook friends to send me some questions that they always wanted to ask a gay guy but never dared to.  Evidently, the common denominator amongst the questions that I received dealt with sex, in one way or another.  The questions came from straight folks, bisexuals, lesbians and even a few gay guys.  So without any further ado here goes...

The first question I received asked “If you are both tops or bottoms, how do you decide who will go where?”  Well, the answer is simple.  One will bottom and the other will top.  Contrary to popular belief there are few gay guys who are exclusively tops or bottoms.  Sometimes we like to mix things up a bit, we call this being versatile.  There are also a lot of other sexually sinful things you can do that will make Pastors cringe that does not involve penetration.  But seeing as I was not asked about that, I will leave it up to your dirty imaginations.

What happens if you are dating a guy and he has a really large penis?” Well, if that happens go on your knees and thank God.  It doesn’t matter what people with small penises say – size does matter!  The bigger the better!  Personally, I know many size queens who like their men’s joy sticks supersized which lead me to a related question “Does anal sex hurt, and what if the guy’s dick is really large?”  The simple answer will be yes, anal sex can hurt a little at first.  After all you are stretching the sphincter muscle.  But the anus is resilient.  As for if the guy is really large, well then you would have to do some preparation before penetration to make sure the anus is relaxed.  Some gay guys prefer to use poppers as it takes the edge off and relaxes the sphincter muscle.  You should really try it sometime.  Anal sex is not just for the gays you know.
Have you ever lied and said you were a top because you did not feel like doing the prep work?” Actually I am a versatile top and I don’t need to do much prep work but I am sure there are some bottoms that may have done this.  I mean the prep work is tedious, you have to shave your ass and you can hurt yourself doing it.  Lord knows I did once but I don’t like talking about it.  Then you have to trim your pubes and douche.  You don’t want your partner’s member to be covered with stinky bits now do you?  Sometimes if you have not bottomed in a while you may also need to make use of certain adult toys to help prepare yourself for the actual penetration and all of this takes time but is well worth the effort.  And most importantly it shows your partner that you care.

And then there were some question with really short answers.  “What do you prefer, KY or Vaseline?”  KY, because Vaseline is oil based and not advisable to use during safe sex.  It is always better to use a water based lubricant.  “Do you like titties?” No I don’t.  “How do you know you don’t like vagina if you never tried it?”  I have tried it and I STILL DON’T LIKE IT!  “Would you ever have a threesome with women?”  Ummm, don’t you understand what homosexual mean?  No I would not.  “Have you ever had a threesome and was it awkward?”  Yes I have, and it was a little awkward at first but it got better as I got into things.
Why are some gay men on dating sites scared of HIV+ men?”  I don’t know if it is a lack of safe sex education in the gay community but in my opinion they avoid HIV+ men because they fear being infected.  Let’s not fool ourselves; gay guys are on dating sites like Man Hunt, Grindr and Gaydar for sex.  Only in exceptional circumstance do guys find their life partners on dating sites and in my social circle I only know of one couple who met that way.  If a person can’t look past you being HIV+, in my opinion, they are not worth your time anyway.

What is gaydar and do all gays have it?”  This is like the gay superpower right?  Gaydar is the ability to recognize gay people through observing certain subtle gay traits in their general behavior.  Contrary to what some believe gaydar is not only secluded to the gay community as some straight folks also have it.  Just like some gay people’s gaydar is broken.  For example my lesbian gaydar doesn’t work at all.  Two lesbians could be scissoring in front of me and I would not know they are gay.  Perhaps it is because I am not sexually attracted to women, who knows?
Do gay people have a secret language they speak?  My gay friends talk about things like dora and patsy, what does that mean?”  Back in the day when gay people were persecuted they had had secret parties and couldn’t openly associate or admit in public that they were gay, so certain code words were used to disguise what they were really saying or referring to.  Much of this “language”, which in fact is only gay slang, have died out with the younger LGBT generation as we don’t really need to use it anymore.  But certain words are still being used.  To learn more about this you can click on the following links: Gay Slang Explained and Gay Slang Dictionary.

So there you have it, answers to some question you always wanted to ask a gay guy but were too afraid to ask.  I am sure there might be many more.  So in future if you have a burning question about anything gay or need step-by-step instructions on how to use a butt plug, drop me an email and I will gladly assist you.

Till next time.

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