Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Beware the Sodomites want to recruit you!


Once again my jaw dropped in disbelieve when a friend forwarded me a link to the ranting of a radical Church. The ranting is by Steven Anderson from the Faithful Word Baptist Church. He is convinced that the sodomites (homosexuals) are taking over the world, spreading our disease of sin and want to recruit you. The only way to stop us, he says, is to kill us. This led me to wonder, is this true? Are we really taking over the world? Are we really hell bent on recruiting as many as we can to join our revolution of depravity?
Steven raises an interesting point by saying that we are multiplying. “There’s more than there were last year and the year before, and the year before that”. This is absolutely true as I can’t dispute this. He also raised the point of us reproducing and entertained with a brief biology lesson. Yes, two men and two women can’t reproduce through gay sex (and believe me we try) but can you say “Artificial Insemination”? Unfortunately, for us radical sodomites having a baby doesn’t guarantee us producing another sodomite. Statistically speaking chances are better that we would produce a straight (non-sodomite) child – oh the repulsion of even entertaining such a thought! So how are we multiplying? The answer is simple according to Steven - we recruit! Sodomites are diligent “recruiters and not reproducers”. We are preying on your children, unsuspecting and unescorted teenagers and defenceless adults. Yes, we seek out the weak and then swoop on them with our Rainbow Flags, KY, Dildos and other queer paraphernalia then “rape, molest and violate” them until they join our squadron. There even is a Gay Manual printed at Sodomite Head Quarters in Amsterdam with detailed instructions, however the illustrated version is only distributed from Sydney and costs a tad more. The process is quite straightforward and relatively painless for those who are not into sadomasochism. All sodomites know that if you need a refresher course, because you have not been meeting your recruitment quota for the month, you will have the manual couriered to you within 24 hours anywhere in the world accompanied with a tongue lashing, head bobbing, finger waving and a hefty fine from the International Institution of Sodomites.
We sodomites are also an ambitious bunch, recruiting is not enough for us because we don’t want to just spread our “disease of sin” we want to dominate and take over the world! We are constantly searching for positions of power especially in the governments of world. Having already infiltrated the United States, United Kingdom, Germany, South Africa, Australia, Netherlands, Switzerland, France, Italy and many more we are at the verge of a full-on hostile coup d'├ętat. We even have undercover sodomites in the Vatican! We are also branching out with our latest Infidel Office that opened up in Iraq just this past week and more to come.

We already control large portions of the world’s economy such as the Fashion Industry and are covertly taking control of other industries as well. Soon not a single non-sodomite will be safe! Just think about what we have achieved already. We are already in your homes (we decorated it, designed the clothes that you wear, your furniture, write the scripts of the shows you watch and even tell you how to prepare your food and do your hair). Our devious plan is well on its way and you are slowly being conditioned for that day the faggots, queers, trannies and dykes will be coming for you!
So how are us sodomites able to do this? Better yet, why are we getting away with it? Again Steven hits the nail on its head with the correct answer – “Queers have no natural predators!” Like the lions in the wild we have very few competitors to fear as we are at the top of the proverbial food/sex chain. We have a superior brain, are more evolved, impeccable fashion sense and generally have a greater disposable income enabling us to fund our global operations to dominate the world. Our creativity and flamboyance combined with our sensitive nature also is another key element as this is how we lure away your women and transform them into our slaves (fag hags). Whatever your wife or girlfriend can’t discuss with you (like your erectile dysfunction) she is happy to share with us. We are the ones that introduced them to vibrators and the phrase “honey not tonight I have a headache” – all of this to curb your reproduction rate. We are such geniuses we have even destroyed the sanctity of marriage as we too can now get married in several countries. First we took over the wedding industry with our wedding planners, caterers, fashion designers and decorators and now we have taken ownership of marriage away from you as well. You know gay adoption is also on the rise so gay married couples are now also taking your children too.
Lastly, you may argue that we need non-sodomites as the stereotypical sodomite is quite timid and lack brute strength because with a superior brain muscle power has become absolute. The truth is we really don’t need non-sodomites, this is why we have the stereotypical dykes: They can build things, win bar fights are good with knifes, beer bottles and fixing things like cars or leaking pipes. We also don’t need non-sodomites because we can procreate with the help of technology. Steven, I think, realized how redundant non-sodomites have become in society and is becoming terrified. If you listen to how hysterical he becomes during the last portion of his sermon one would think a sodomite has already baptised him up the ass. Steven is correct to be petrified because we are doing all these things - we are multiplying, recruiting and taking over the world! Soon all non-sodomites will be replaced with the superior human race that is the Sodomites!!!
Whoever is crazy enough to believe all of this really should look up Steven Anderson and give him a copy of this article, I am sure this would feed his festering hatred for homosexuals. Steven lives in a fantasy world where fairies have become demons and the leader in the battle between “Good” and “Evil” is led by a blind man who can’t distinguish between the two. I guess the world needs this type of insanity to balance out the bigger scheme of things, I just hope I never cross his path as I have quite a bit I’d like to say and do to crazy Anderson.

(To listen to this crazy man go to http://www.rightwingwatch.org/god-commands-you-kill-gays.html?q=content/god-commands-you-kill-gays)

Till next time!


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22 comments:

AJ said...

LMAO, it's only you that could turn this into something funny!

Anonymous said...

YOU SICK FAGGOTS SHOULD ALL DIE OF AIDS!!!!

Pierre said...

WoW Anonymous, my 1st hate message on my blog! Usually I get them via e-mail. Good for you, what guts you have.

PS: For info on our next recruitment drive in your neighborhood e-mail me, or leave your e-mail on my blog, OK ;-)

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

this is so well written and would have been funny if it was not so sick! How some people can preach such hatred is beyond me!
And, Anonymous...yes, you really have amazing guts coz you had to hide behind that 'name'!!

YogaforCynics said...

Gotta say, I've tried to recruit myself as a sodomite...always thought it'd be cool to be bisexual. Alas, it didn't work...found I'm just not attracted to men. I appear to be trapped in boring, white-bread heterosexuality...with a bit of consensual S&M thrown in. So it goes....

justaguy said...

some people are ridiculous! do they really believe that stuff?

Pierre said...

It ain't easy being a sodomite YogaforCynics but it sure is fun ;-)

Roshni & justaguy, I am always surprised when I come across such ridiculous & sick believes. I suspect it's these kind of people's own insecurities and fears that causes them to fester such hatred. Luckily the majority of society can see it for what it is and just shrugs it off.

Sapphic Owl said...

this is why we have the stereotypical dykes: They can build things, win bar fights are good with knifes, beer bottles and fixing things like cars or leaking taps.

Oh hell, that was effin hilarious! And being Baptiste up the ass? GOLDEN. I'm surprised I hadn't heard of this. Thanks for posting this, and with such humor. You've definitely gained a follower.

Pierre said...

Thanks Sappic Owl, glad you enjoyed it! Sometimes we need to have a sense of humour about these kinda things. If we take crazy people like them seriously, god knows what the world will become.

Eurasian Sensation said...

You realise, of course, that some redneck is gonna read your article and not understand the ironic tone...

"Golly gee! They ARE trying to recruit us... this fag even admits it here, look!"

Re: Anonymous hater - homophobes are lovely people, aren't they?

Pierre said...

Eurasian Sensation, if they do read it without comprehension I hope it scares the hell out of them. Would be fun if more of them comment on my blog. I suspect Anonymous may have been one of those "rednecks".

LLnL said...

This is my first visit and I think you are too funny...at least I found myself laughing and the ridiculousness of people and their assumptions. Mad cow and swine flu has taught us that people are scared to catch a sickness. Too many have labeled homosexuality as a disease with no known cure...soooo scary!

Trying to find a problems with others is no way of proving your own righteousness.When more people learn to own their own sexuality and that it is nothing to be ashamed of you is when you will see a dent on ignorance. Until then say a little prayer for your persecutors and thank God for Sea Men.

Pierre said...

LLnL, glad you enjoyed reading my blog. There are still many conservative people out there in the world who are finding it hard to come to terms with everything that's different. It could be seen as ignorance, hopefully with time this will change.

F said...

I know that this is a serious matter but I couldn't help but laugh when I read this post. Good one Pierre, you're right we can't take everything too seriously sometimes it's good to laugh at the crazyness of this world.

Oh, and here is that blog I was telling you about the other time: http://loveandlable.blogspot.com/

Pierre said...

Thanks F, I believe if you can't laugh at things like this we would all suffer from stomach ulcers. Life's too short!

Thanks for remembering to give the link. I will go check out the blog, now that I have time as I am still in Facebook exile ;-)

Frank J said...

Boy did I cackle when I read this!!

I've been away for a while, but the sale of Marvel to Disney finally inspired me to post again. The traditional values crew may have scored a big one this weekend!!!

Ciao4now

Pierre said...

Glad you enjoyed it Fran J.

Colin Meier said...

Lovely satire, Pierre! You've got a new follower.

(If you're interested, author Hal Duncan has some similar stuff on his blog newsfromthegeekshow.blogspot.com.)

Pierre said...

Thanks Colin! I will check out Hal Duncan's blog.

Darren Ingram said...

Thanks for re-posting this, otherwise I wouldn't have seen it and wouldn't have laughed so hard. A brilliant post!!

Jason Shaw said...

Great stuff my dear, simply grand. well crafted to turn something serious to something fun!.

Hope the recovery is going well. Much hugs.

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