Death of the Metro-Sexual Man

Well, it is official South Africa is now also experiencing an economic recession but I don’t believe it will be as bad as the great depression of 1929 – I Googled it! Many of us will experience the economic recession in different ways and feel the pinch of it. As a gay man the recession has already impacted on my life. As most of you know the grooming rituals of the homosexual male is quite intriguing and complex. With our particular style of grooming I’d like to believe that we were responsible for the emergence of the Metro-sexual Male (heterosexual men with a strong concern for their appearance, and/or a lifestyle that displays attributes stereotypically related to gay men). This being said, I believe the recession is posing a tremendous threat not only to homosexual men but the recession is also killing the metro-sexual male!
As we tighten our belts and wallets and cut on seemingly unnecessary expenses I have noticed a decline in people spending money on personal grooming. There are fewer metro-sexual males on the street and most are reverting back to the Hugh Jackman look – sexy but unfortunate. People just aren't spending money on waxing, facials, manicures etc. The metro-sexual male has stopped visiting the Spa! It has gotten so bad that the Spa I use to go to closed down. My cosmetologist disappeared without leaving a forwarding number! Not everyone would see this as a crisis, but to me it is! That woman who have been waxing me for the last 2 years, seen me naked and ripped hair from parts of my body very few people get to see is gone. Finding someone else with whom I’d be comfortable being 95% naked with male/or female and someone that can do a full body wax in less than 1 hour will be a mission. In the mean time, I have grown hairy! I have gone from being smooth to what my husband now refers to as monkey boy - I am no Hugh Jackman! The economy is in a recession so I have rationalized the growing back of my “man hair” as my “winter fur” as we are in late autumn and I hope by spring the economy will have stabilized and I would have found someone to transform me back from primate to homo-sapien.
Not only are people replacing wax with razors they are also now compromising on their hair, opting for do-it-yourself hair coloring instead of having a professional do it - some even attempting to cut their own hair. I can hear the entire hairstylist community cringe in horror!!! Walking through the shopping malls I have seen the yellow hair that was supposed to be blond, the bad dye jobs and botched highlights. The once metro-sexual male with a tell tail barber shop hair cut; the men and women who on account of saving a penny here-and-there allowing those grey hairs to protrude through their once stunning colored hair. Experiencing a recession I understand that people have to cut expenses but at what cost? Personally, I’d rather go without that stunning pair of shoes or exquisite jacket than compromise on my hair.
The metro-sexual males also seem to fading into oblivion when it comes to fashion. The once growing section of enlightened heterosexual men are becoming more difficult to spot, as facial and body hair now disguise them and the only way of recognizing these diminishing few are with wardrobe. As I refuse to compromise with my hair by letting a fashion item elude me, the metro-sexual male seem to compromise not only on grooming but on fashion too. They no longer appear to pay attention current fashion and last years trends are recycled. Some metro-sexual men also seem not to be able to remember how to put an outfit together, as last years magazines have been thrown away. They walk around bearded and in mismatching attire - they are almost unrecognizable. At least gay men are finding ways to cope with the recession and are better at prioritizing our spending when it comes to grooming and fashion. We understand that you don’t have to down scale and deprive yourself of all things, a few compromises is enough to ride out this difficult economic time. It’s truly unfortunate that the world economy is experiencing a recession and that it’s finding its way into most countries. Having to adjust your spending patterns in order to be able to pay your bills, keep your head above water and hoping not to be retrenched as companies down scale is unpleasant. It truly is serious and for some a dire experience. As a gay male, seeing the effects of the recession around me makes me grateful for everything I have. It has caused me to also down scale, adjust my spending habits and compromise. But at least I can still keep some of my grooming rituals and maintain my gay attributes. The true tragedy is in gradual demise of metro-sexual male, whether they will survive the world wide economic crisis nobody knows. I hope they will not go extinct like the dodo, and once this is all said and done they’ll return. I truly hope the recession will not kill off our beloved metro-sexual males!

Till next time.

Wanda Sykes - Wanda & Bobby On a Plane