If Twitter and Facebook are anything to go by then Lady Gaga’s visit to South Africa has been an extraordinary success, with people raving about her Johannesburg concert all over the social media. When we bought our tickets, which was months ago, I was super excited to go to her concert. Since she started her career five years ago I was an instant fan and I am very proud today to call myself a “Little Monster”. Gaga has never seized to impress me with her music, her artistry and the positive messages she conveys albeit in a very unconventional way. So when the day came, last Friday, for hubby, our friends and I to see her perform live in Johannesburg we were bursting with anticipation.
About three weeks ago our preparation for Lady Gaga’s Born This Way Ball started. After all you can’t go and see Gaga and not dress up. It would be almost blasphemous to pitch up at one of her concerts wearing just a jean and t-shirt. Not wanting to look like a big walking cliché we put some thought into our outfits. We were not going to sew stuffed toys to our clothes or show up wearing nothing but bubble wrap and black duck tape on our nipples. No, that has all been done. We wanted to do something unexpected, something original yet classy. So we decided on going to the concert dressed up like slutty school boys. Can you imagine four thirty something guys in school clothes getting their sluts on?
The outfits were simplistic, your average grey pants and white shirts and thin leather ties. The shirts having on their backs embroider the words “Class of 2012 Gaga’s School of lil MoNsTeRs”. On the front pockets a black badge with the words “Born this Way Ball” written in what else but glitter. To jazz things up even further (because we are gay like that) we also had shiny strips of cubic zirconia crystals stuck all over the shirts. Hubby had his grey short shortened and our other friend had his skirt made into a very mini miniskirt. He also had a weave glued to his head on only one side and had several crystals stuck on to his face. We all looked very shiny, very slutty and very gay. On our way to the park-and-ride I remember us discussing how we hope other people would be dressed up too. We all agreed that it would be a crying shame if we were the only ones. Arriving at the park-and-ride I was unprepared for what happened next.
As soon as we got there people stared at us as if we just arrived on our spaceship from the planet G.O.A.T. The stares quickly and unexpectedly turned into a paparazzi frenzy. People were asking if they could take photographs with us and once Gregg showed them that he had written on his panty in glitter the words “GAGA” the photographic frenzy intensified. This continued even after we arrived at the venue. There are photos of us and Gregg’s ass all over Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Who knew that our rather simplistic outfits would attract that much attention? But hey, it’s Gaga and you should show her some respect by stepping it up and putting in the effort. Luckily we were not the only ones that came dressed for the concert. There were loads of other little monsters wearing wigs, cans in their hair, taped nipples and weird and wonderful makeup. It was a proverbial sea of very excited little monsters.
There were people who arrived at the venue as early as 9 o’clock in the morning which is dedications if I have ever seen it. When we arrived at the venue, just a little after 4pm, there was already a large queue. I didn’t know it then, but when we got off the bus that would be the last time I would have been sitting until just after midnight and that my feet and legs were going to be fucking sore at the end. It was a long wait until we could go inside and once the gates opened it was a stampede with glitter and wigs flying everywhere. Everyone was running to make sure they got the best place to stand. At one point we were running also and I remember asking myself what the fuck I was running for. But I ran anyway even though I knew there was no point to it. To make a long story short we ended up standing 5 meters away from the stage and had the perfect vantage point from which to bask in the splendor that is Lady Gaga.
This concert was the first time that I realized that I was not as short as I thought I was. I could actually see over the other people, which is rare for me. During the show we had one annoying little Indian chick standing behind me. This little annoyance from Bombay was short, full of energy and had no respect for the personal space of others. She dry humped me from behind, thoroughly molested my back with her DD-cup boobs and at one point her ponytail was giving my exposed arm a rub down. I felt extremely violated! That chick had probably gone to third base with me and she didn’t even realize it and God knows I did not consent to it. I felt a little raped and even though I also had an eye infection and had to wear sunglasses throughout the show I didn’t care because Gaga made it all worth it.
The show was indescribably good. I was immensely impressed with the effort that goes into Gaga’s concerts and all the people that must work their asses off behind the scenes to make sure the stage, sound and lighting is perfect. The people who help Gaga with her costume changes, of which there are many, and how fast that is done. Her dancers who were magnificent, her band and of course Lady Gage herself. When she sits behind the piano and sings magic happens. She is also one of those artists who have enchantment inside her and she engages the audience on a level that I personally have never experienced before. She truly is a brilliant performer who comes across as humble and sincere. Gaga also manages to be authentic as an artist and conveys a positive and uplifting message through her music that could be felt by all who were there.
For those religious freaks who protested for Lady Gaga to be banned from coming to South Africa, where were you on Friday? You made such a big stink about Gaga yet when push comes to shove you can’t even show up. According to them Gaga is the Bride of Satan who will corrupt the youth of South Africa. Well dumb fucks, clearly you protest against someone who you don’t know and whose concerts you have never seen. If you were there on Friday you would have realized how ignorant you really are. Gaga’s message to South Africa was one of hope.
The message I got from Gaga on Friday was that no matter who or what you are you should respect yourself, be proud of yourself, reach for your dreams, work hard, not give a fuck about what people say about you and never let anyone make you feel small, not worth it or say that you are not good enough. Also if you are sad or being bullied you should always remember that you are not alone. On Friday I was inspired. I was inspired by Lady Gaga and how hard she has worked to get to where she is today. I have also gained so much more respect for her as an artist and as a person. If you have the opportunity to go to one of her concerts, do yourself a favor and go. It will rock your world and you will leave feeling positive, optimistic and inspired. I was Born This Way Bitches…
Till next time.