Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Fake Lesbians that Ruins It for the Rest of Us.

Recent revelations that certain lesbian bloggers weren’t actually lesbians or actually women shocked the gay blogosphere. The shock came after a particular “lesbian” blogger were allegedly kidnapped and it came to light that the “Syrian Lesbian Blogger” was in fact a 40 year old heterosexual dude from America. What the fuck?! It seems he merrily blogged away and nobody questioned the legitimacy of the 25 year old girl’s so called lesbianism and nobody picked up “she” was actually a much older “he”. Well, in the blog readers’ defence it is quite tricky to tell whether the author of a blog has a penis or a vagina by just reading it and faking being gay is evidently quite easy. Now, as I scrutinise the blogs I read more carefully I cannot help but wonder how many other Fake Gay Bloggers are out there.
First of all, I just want to let all my readers know that I am indeed a guy, I am indeed a flaming faggot and if you don’t believe me I have the pictures to prove it. I also don’t have another blog where I pretend to be a straight woman and write about my Sex and the City sex escapades, my vagina logs or my menstrual cycle. Honestly, I don’t know enough of the female anatomy to even try and my lack of knowledge on this subject matter is in direct correlation with my lack of interest in it. Not that I don’t love women, I really do I just don’t want to have sex with women or imagine women naked. Had I pretended to be a straight male blogger I would eventually again run into the vagina problem and writing a blog as a feline would possibly be a much more palatable option and of better substance. But why would anyone want to write a fake blog anyway...

Many times, while writing my blog, I questioned myself whether I should have blogged anonymously and write under a pseudonym. If you use a pseudonym you do not have to be careful and edit what you want to say about your work, friends and/or family. You are free to trash whoever and whatever you want and nobody will know it is you. I read quite a few anonymous blogs and I thoroughly enjoy them mainly due to their unbridled candour. But there is a huge difference between anonymous blogging and fake blogging. At least with anonymous blogging the author still writes about real life references, experiences and people. Fake bloggers create fiction, fabrications and misrepresentations. Simply put they lie to their readers which raises an interesting question – is fake blogging ethical?
Pretending to be gay when you are not and blogging about your fake life, in my opinion, is morally and wrong. Not only is it fiction, it is insulting to the GLBT community and offensive to the readers once the truth is revealed. As a gay blogger I share my real live experiences, my coming out story, my accounts of being bullied, being discriminated against and my run-ins with homophobia. It’s my narrative, it’s my truth, it’s my real life. I share how I overcame adversity, prevailed in the confines of intolerance and embraced acceptance. Some of my readers get comfort from what I share, gain hope for their own futures and are encouraged to find their own paths and be proud of who and what they are. This can’t and should not be achieved based on lies. Bloggers have a responsibility to their readers and far too many authors of blogs don’t take this responsibility seriously.

My blog is not all gay doom and gloom, sex, gay pride parades, glitter balls and disco sticks. Because that is not what being gay in my life is all about. True, I can be construed to be your stereotypical flaming queen or limp wristed queer who loves fanning the flames of my own faggotry. But being gay, in my context, is also about my marriage, my family, work and recently our journey to become parents. My blog represents a portion of the gay community and depicts my journey on this planet, something a fake blog cannot do. My readers share in my battles, laugh with me, cry with me and some of my GLBT brothers and sisters who are yet to come out of the closet can see that being gay does not mean that you cannot have a normal life and have a healthy relationship. These readers are also shown that they do not have to live in the shadow of society hiding from their truth. Every blogger out there have a responsibility to their readers to be honest and add value rather than deceive and depreciate the essence of blogging and your readers’ experience thereof. There’s nothing more disgusting and disturbing than learning that you have been deceived and that the blog you have been reading is based on lies. It’s like cracking a rotten egg into your cake mixture ruining the whole thing. And it stinks!
The fake lesbian bloggers are the rotten eggs of the blogosphere that’s ruining it for the rest of us. Sure it may have seemed fun and a good idea at the time for them to blog as lesbians, but I am sure it’s not as much fun now that they have been thrown out of their virtual heterosexual closets. I’m pretty sure the wives of A Gay Girl in Damascus and Lez Get Real weren’t too pleased either when they learned of their husband’s blogosphere escapades. The only thing these two bloggers achieved was to deceive and outrage. I guess these two fake lesbians learned the lessons I learned years ago the hard way – do not fuck with real lesbians and do not pretend to be something you are not!

Till next time.


Gee Gee Curtained said...

I always imagine most people on internet chat sites as greasy old men with dirty vests pretending they're someone else, I have no idea why. Loved your post about being honest in the blogosphere! That said, I blog under this name and not my own because my family would probably disown me as my stories are true! ;-)

Ikis Seguarbo said...

I think there is nothing wrong with fake blogging or I may not want to use the term fake, maybe in writing I'll describe it fiction blogging? I don't exactly know but I guess there are certain people who could write based on imagination and not necessarily on fact. To be able to do so, sometimes you have to connect with an alter ego and pretend to be somebody else. Self expression should not be limited to what exactly happens to your life. That's why we sometimes dream of being somebody else if I may put it that way. We get curious... what's on the other side if I am this, if I am that. It does not needfully mean that this bloggers are trying to fool you but maybe they wanna show another side of themselves. Writing is very vast in style and sometimes the most tasteful stories are the ones written creatively based on characters we already know or characters we are about to discover and relate to.

Jason said...

I love this post, honesty on the net is a rare thing it would seem. Not many blog under their real names, with their real lives on show.

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Femme on a Mission said...

I loved this post! I just found your blog and I am excited to read everything you've got up here.

@Ikis Seguarbo: I have to say that I disagree. I think there are a few things going on in the cases of the fictional lesbian bloggers. For one thing, if someone is going to write a fictional blog, I think the only way it is not unethical is if it is not portrayed as the truth. It would need some kind of disclaimer.

Additionally, these were not men just "trying out some fiction writing", you know? They were co-opting the voice of a minority that is so often silenced. Isolated and alienated queer people believed in them, trusted them, looked to them for hope and guidance. Real people were worried about Amina, the fictional lesbian who supposedly went to jail.

That's what is so special about the Internet and blogs. They are a way that real people connect. And especially for the queer community, the internet can be a safe way for LGBT folks to reach out to one another. These men abused that.

Additionally, we could use all the straight allies we can get! I wish these two could have had the strength to write as themselves. That would have been a great way to build up the community rather than deceive it.

Pierre said...

@Gee Gee Curtained, LMAO. My boss reads my blog so I also have to be a bit careful what I write.

@Ikis Seguarbo, to each his own. But I do find it offensive when straight people pose as homosexuals, as they do not truly have any idea what it is really like to be gay.

@Jason, very true. But if they do so with good reason, I do respect that!

@Femme on a Mission, thanks. Welcome to my blog I hope you enjoy it!

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